Anyone been burned seeking help?

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I saw a parade of shrinks cuz my dad had good insurance and $$$$ as a child in the 80s-90s, not one mentioned even autism only ADHD and ADD and RXed me ritalin and other stimulants. My mother said not only did they not improve my condition, they seemed to make it WORSE. At some point I started being verbal and they got me into 1st grade with a sigh of relief that it was all behind them.

In my mid-teens I had dropped out of school years earlier, sometime in grade 7 it got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. Not only did the crap from the other students ramp up outrageously it got worse with the teachers too. They acted almost angry with me, even a compliment contained vile criticism that would confuse me. English teacher"You read at a college level, so what the hell is wrong with you? Why the hell can't you just be normal and apply yourself?".

The teasing from the other kids was all I had to look forward to, seemed like the less I cared the more they liked it.

"Hey Sperg nice shoes man, I mean it I like the boots"

"Ok, they're not bad"

"You didn't think I really meant that did you? You dumb f**k"

"I didn't and really don't care either way"

"Go f**k off you fag"<I'm not gay>

Sperg* Shrug.

Anyway I had been supposed to start home schooling after moving school districts and I did the work at home gladly but had a falling out with the group running it that did the testing and socializing s**t. I ended up playing a lot of videogames and watching a lot of movies at home.

Were my parents negligent? Probably a little but at this point they were strained for money and all "official" advice was to allow me to be institutionalized in a state mental hospital. I considered running away before this, forced 24/7 interaction with no respite at home?!? No, nightmare inducing. I think they were just scared, and thought a stint in a Texas state hospital was not going to be beneficial but they had no other resources either and I think resigned themselves to supporting me financially for life.

My mother had been talking to people that told her I could get SSI benefits as I was now just that year the right age eventually, we went to SSI. The woman there asked how was I disabled, we described my "condition" as plainly and accurately as possible. The SSI woman sighed and said "not wanting an education is NOT a disability." and with pleading she asked what a psychiatrist had diagnosed me with? My mom said he was diagnosed ADHD and ADD as a child, the women snorted and asked "no recently I mean?". We explained we had no money and no insurance, she said she would try to refer me to a free Texas state program(TexStar? Something I don't remember the name). We went and were interviewed together and separately by a psychiatrist.

We both were as honest as possible, at some point during my solo interview s**t just seemed to derail. The guy adopted a kind of smirk and would just hammer at me acting like he was in disbelief at my what I thought very plausible story. I remember him asking me if I had ever used drugs, I said no and he kind of snorted and then went down a list of drugs like twenty substances long. I never got upset and answered truthfully all these questions. He asked me if I had thought about suicide, I said you mean like hypothetically? yes I think about all kinds of stuff. He asked if I WANTED to commit suicide and I said no, asked if I had a method in mind and I said no, asked if I had a weapon in mind I said again no.

Later looking back on it and talking about it, it seemed he was trying to trap me with these questions not honestly evaluate me.

Then he laid the bombshell on me saying I would not get a go ahead from him for SSI unless I agreed to an involuntary commitment in a state hospital of at least three months for evaluation. I asked him why did I need this for a diagnosis and go ahead? He said IF I was truly as disabled as described and unable to work I would jump at the chance to get in for the evaluation. He left the office and said he would return with the paperwork to sign, me and my mother, he did not ask if I agreed.

I sat there dumbfounded, calmly got up went into the lobby got my mother lied that the meeting was over and told her I did not want to be locked up away from everything that kept me sane including her and my dad. We left, she agreed with me.

The psychiatrist or his office ended up calling on the phone and telling my mother he had enough in my statements to go get a commitment warrant. My mom hired a lawyer for the little money she could scrape up and got her to call them and file something, that dropped it the warrant was never issued.

It wasn't til close to a decade later that I finally heard about Asperger's/autism spectrum and had my holy s**t moment.

So did you ever get SSI between then and now? Or have you not needed it as an adult? My experience has similarities to yours. I am younger though and was able to get SSI fairly seamlessly when I became an adult because I was diagnosed by then and not go through the strange nightmare it sounds like you were up against. (wasn't my choice to apply for SSI, I just wouldn't have health insurance otherwise so I was made to)

I was referred to a therapist who told me that because I was working part-time she didn't think I needed to see her. Despite the fact that I told her I needed help. She then told me she would evaluate me for a certain amount of money, but she would charge more for the evaluation if I was seeking disability. I decided against seeking help from her.

The whole field of psychiatry is complete BS these days.
They push pills and theories they don't understand.
Your best bet is to learn the material for yourself, or better yet learn psychoanalytic theories (the standard form of psychiatry before pills became the norm due to better profit margins).

I think you read the situation correctly that this psychiatrist was trying to trap you.  And I think you responded calmly, confidently, and with good self-preservation.

As I understand it, a person can only be involuntarily committed if he or she is a danger to self or others.  So, the guy was either lying or bluffing.

When I shared with my internist in 2011 that I was struggling with depression and some thoughts of suicide, he asked me some more questions and then told me it's a medical emergency if a person intends to commit suicide and has a specific plan.  *(and I understand you were thinking hypothetically like intellectual people will think hypothetically and abstractly about all kinds of topics.  Maybe part of it was that the guy can't stand when someone else is intellectual, because that he wants to be lord god)

The clown seemed to ask the right questions, but then damn, jump to a specific conclusion which just is not true unless he's going to lie in a major way about your answers.  The guy's like a police investigator who's trying to bully someone into a confession and then gets pissed if he isn't "right."

And then, institutionalization just isn't good for people, aspies and a bunch of other people, too.  And a humanistic doctor knows this.  And just an average, middle-of-the-road doctor knows this.  Exceptions like if someone is actively planning on suicide.  Also old school lithium trial for people who might be bipolar or who might be schizophrenic.  Even then, a good doctor builds from and works with a person's existing support structure.

It's like this guy is bored with his job and gets his jollies trying to lord over others.  Some sick stuff.

I'm glad you and your mother were able to protect you.  And welcome to Wrong Planet. :>)

OP that is sure a horror story. When my mom took me to get SSI they only gave me a thick folder of papers that I had to write down the answers to. I think the only thing that stopped them from doing the same thing to me is that I was already thrown into the hospital at 12. Then again maybe they've had to get tougher to weed out the fakers. What do they expect when they let people claim being a meth addict is a disability. I had a neighbor who got SSI because he was too fat to work. Hopefully you do end up getting approved, sorry to hear that happened to you

I've seen three different counselors. None were particularly helpful, two in fact were kind of lousy.

The field seems to be filled with ideologues and prima donnas. It really does.

*One guy I saw when I was twenty and paid myself for a single visit, was somewhat helpful. So okay, 1 out of 4, still nothing to write home about.

Wow! What a horror story!

I've been burned for seeking help-- more than once-- but never that badly.

It sucks, doesn't it?? Makes it awfully hard to ask for help again. They say being unwilling to ask for help is a trait of the pathology. I wonder if it isn't something that's learned from repeated failed attempts. If you get disbelieved and slapped in the face often enough, you'll stop asking.

You will, in fact, become paranoid.

I'm right there with ya, man.

I'd say you a prayer if I weren't so damn cynical.