NTs, I don't understand what motivates you

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Are you primarily motivated by sex and the need for power?

I don't get it.

I am sad and exhausted trying to figure it out right now. And flailing a bit

Sorry. It just gets to me sometimes.

People in general seem to be motivated by all sorts of things...power, status, materialism, greed, love, beauty, social success, passion and so on.

Personally I am motivated by passion and love but then I am not sure I am NT.

The passion and love does not have to be sexual it can simply be passion for my interests (and often is) although I do desire a life companion as well (no such luck though so now I have given up on that).

Do you think they were born that way?
Or is it "culture" and media who made them that way?

The possibility of rewards or avoiding punishments, depending on the person being an extrovert or an introvert

A lot of it is power. I once read a book by Octavia E. Butler (my favorite author. Check her out if you like sci fi) that talked about the fact that the idea of hierarchy is a genetic trait in that apes of all kinds seem to take leaders. That hierarchy was and is a tool for survival. And that our newer tool which is intelligence gets subjugated by the older tool.

Which is really quite a shame. We can't attain utopia with that need.

The people I know (the adults) are motivated by caring for and providing for their families. The singles I know are pretty much in survival mode.

If you get your concept of what motivates people from the media, you will be misled. There is nothing particularly interesting about caring for and providing for family, so it's not in the media. But by and large, that's the primary motivation for plain folks.

Overall, NT's are motivated by the same things Autistics are. Those things can very vastly from person to person, though.

Clearly I don't get my concepts or opinion from the media, when I'm demonizing the media for corrupting people ...
Pretty sure there's all kinds of stuff like that on TV; Family sitcoms, Dr. Phil, other random garbage..

What about folks who don't have kids? What's their motivation?
I don't think the original post was about the middle-class white working man, try again..

OK.




^This is the question I was responding to. I'm an NT who has walked this earth for nearly 6 decades. I have been in the workforce for 4 decades in 4 different industries. I grew up in lower middle class - Midwestern - US - dying industrialized city. In the schools I attended before university, whites were in the minority. I have lived, as an adult and raised 2 children in a wealthy Northeastern US suburban county. I worked in NYC for 20 years.

In short, I have known a lot of NTs in all walks of life. I haven't had a TV for 25 years because I am pretty busy working and relating to the folks around me. My daughters are late 20s & early 30s and I know their lives and the the lives of many of their friends. They live in the the southeast.

I speak from the experience of being an NT and associating with NTs.

I'm pretty sure that the OP's question was directed to and about NT adults.

From knowing a cross section of adult NTs for a long time, in variuos circumstances; my answer still stands:

The people I know (the adults) are motivated by caring for and providing for their families. The singles I know are pretty much in survival mode.

I will add that my answer includes whites, minorities, females and males. Poor, middle class, upper middle class, foreign born, married, single, young and old. Not every one I've ever known are primarily motivated by caring for and providing for their families or else simply mostly in survival mode; but that's what most of them are about.

Fair enough, but power, greed and sex are not for "survival" in first world countries.
You can interpret sex for survival as reproduction but let's be honest, how many young adults are having sex for that purpose?

I believe the original post was referring to the "game" of life that people play. As for their motivation to achieve the so-called "American Dream", I am not certain; part of it is clearly innate human needs (shelter, food, drink, sex) but needs have been perverted and twisted - wants have been transmogrified into needs.

The lives we live in the west are by no means for survival or providing for our families. Providing them with what? The false sense that money will bring happiness, that consumerism and greed are positive attributes of the human endeavor? Clearly you need a base amount of income to survive, but what most people consider survival is far beyond it.
I believe this is where the question of motivational factors such as greed, sex and power come in; as the OP has asked.

Relevant:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUq-U6aRDos[/youtube]

Being a NT, I wouldn't say that all NT's are motivated by sex and power. What motivates a NT depends on their personality. As for me, I motivated by something if I see there is an award to be gained. Power and sex drives a lot of people, but not everyone.

I agree with everything you said. I am in my late 30s now. Before I had a family, I was motivated by gaining my own independence (that's why I went to college and moved out of my parents home and kept myself employed). Once I got married and started family, I am motivated by providing for my family. I suspect that once my children are grown, I will be motivated by my eventual retirement (saving enough money for when I am old and cannot work).

When I see these posts, I realize there is so much I will need to teach my son so that he understands the world around him.

I feel like nts are motivated by the need to survive, and since they have enough to survive, they are always seeking out more just because the more stuff you have the more likely you are to survive. Hence the obsession with getting so much stuff.

Attention is a huge motivator for everyone. My Mom always told me when I was kid that secretly everyone just wants to talk about themselves and that that was the key to friendship. The thing is that it is true to a point. That is how you make ACQUAINTANCES. The right attention in the right amount will allow someone to become your acquaintance. It might sound selfish and you might wonder why you would want to be even acquaintances with someone so selfish but there is a sales technique that plays on the same psychology called reciprocity and eventually if you play your cards right they will be giving attention to you as well. And don't take this personally because this is true for everyone but since the point of making friends is to get some attention I guess that means your desire for friendship was slightly selfish too. So, no reason to judge something on it's selfless or selfish nature since it's true for all humans. Reciprocity is the idea that if I do something for you that you will eventually feel a little guilty about not reciprocating back. Now you're giving all this attention and aren't getting any back? Well, it's a push me pull you scenario.

A lot of times when you give someone too much attention they will take that for granted and not give any back. They don't have to work for the attention that they want from friendships because you already give as much as they need. Why reciprocate when doing nothing gets you what you want? The trick to this is you have to treat your attention like its a special present meant only for your closest friends and closest loved ones AND at the same time sometimes play a game of keep away. You don't give your attention to any joe schmo on the street because you are wasting energy that could be spent talking to someone who cares. The fact that they don't care has no relationship to your value as a human being. They just don't share the same interest as you and they don't want to say that they are uninterested because it makes them uncomfortable to say something negative about your interest. You're clearly very interested in the subject matter and them saying that it bores them would be more impolite than if you were trying to discuss an interest that you only sort of cared about. Which is why NTs will start using body language as a sign that they'd like you to stop. So watch them... They'll look around at anywhere but you. They'll shuffle their feet. They'll close off their bodies with crossed arms. People give attention with their eyes so usually they will try to put either a limb between their eyes and you or they will look away to show that they would rather stop giving you attention.
The keep away game is essential to making and keeping friends. Have you ever used a string to play with a cat? It's funny because if you make it too easy for them to catch the string they will get bored with the game but if you make it too hard for them to catch the string they will get bored with the game. See? Too much or too little and the cat doesn't want your attention. Same with NTs. You give a little attention and then you stop and wait for them to respond. If they don't then wait a few days before you try again. Do that a few times... Waiting a day between contact. Every cat likes to chase the string in a certain way and some cats don't want to play so if this method of giving and receding doesn't eventually work then that person probably wasn't a compatible friend in the first place. Consider GIVING UP on them and trying with someone new. The funny thing is that your sudden lack of interest might even cue them to start giving attention back. NTs have to do this every day but it comes naturally to them. You have to learn it as a skill if you want to be able to associate with them without ostracizing them. And let's face it... Unless we create a real tribe of AS and AS allies versus this virtual one there is no way that you are not going to have to deal with a NT's lack of understanding in the fact that you don't play their game their way.

So remember, your attention is like a beautifully wrapped present and you don't want to give it to just anyone. Also if you give too many presents they won't feel the need to give a present back. The trick is learning how big the present will be, who you give it to, and how often. You will learn by careful observation of their body language while you run your social experiment. Trial and error. Trial and error. Nothing worth doing is bereft of pain You will get hurt but you will see through that pain and know that it means you will have a better tomorrow. Your pain today means a better tomorrow but only if you are learning the pattern of those you want to push from being an acquaintance to being a friend.

And each form of communication offers its own particular way of handling a situation. People expect quick responses via text just not too many in a day. In person you have to act like you're playing with a cat. Calling someone is more like in person than not but lacks body language requirements.

Sorry about the length but this has been my life's work... Trying to play the NT game. I'm kinda sucky at it still but I get better every day and it's kind of fun once you get into it. The thing is that you have to make a lot of mistakes before you can learn. Also this is a very draining process. Change for everyone is draining especially when it's caused by trying to retrain your brain.

I think NT's are controlled more by their primal instincts, which is survival and reproduction, the two essential ingredients to a species continued survival. Perhaps we're the next step in the evolutionary process as these animalistic instincts don't need to be as aggressive as they were when the human race was younger. You don't need to be a testosterone fuelled hunter gatherer to survive in the modern day, and we are humans way of adapting to that.

Or maybe I'm thinking too much!

Although we disagree elsewhere, this I totally agree with. I was thinking about Octavia Butler the other day, and how unique she was being both black and female in a genre where her race and gender are often underrepresented.

I agree that most seem to adhere to a hierarchy system. Even those at the bottom rung tend to abide by the system because they hope to elevate their lot. I read an article about this once that seemed to articulate it better than I could.

Maybe I'll find it and post it.