those three words

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the whole "i love you" thing really bothers me. every guy i've been in a relationship with feels the need to continually remind me of their feelings. it must be an nt thing, as i've never had more than a platonic relationship with any aspie so far.
i don't get it that nt guys continually need reminding of my affection, either.

Because you're AS, that's why.

That pic you posted sums it up. That's how you think/feel, but typical NT's are a lot like the little old lady in that pic and like to either express it or hear/feel it expressed towards them on a regular basis.

That's pretty much all there is to it and all there is to get or not get about it.

i've wondered if aspie guys are as needy. unfortunately, i don't know too many aspies in and around where i live.


it's nice being told that i'm appreciated and all.........just not in that way....and not so often XD

Some are, some aren't. Some are very right brained & emotional, others left brained and more of the cold calculating analytical type that don't care either way to hear things like this. It's going to depend individual to individual. Others yet have a greater need to hear things like this as they don't hear them often enough and/or are anxious and insecure, so it's nice for them to hear it regularly - especially kids who may benefit from hearing more compliments and such.

Sounds like you just need to tell your guy how you feel about hearing those things and let him know it's appreciated, but that it sometimes makes you uncomfortable to hear it so frequently. Make sure you tell him you don't want him to stop, but just to tone it down a little as the lovey-stuff makes you feel awkward. Talk it out, I'm sure you can come to a better happy-medium you can both live with.

i always welcome the reminders

Curious, I had this exact conversation with my mother a few days ago. We were watching Doc Martin (English TV) and I asked why Louisa was making such a fuss over Martin (who most definitely has undiagnosed AS) never saying he loves her. I saw two episodes in which he professed it profusely, but that didn't seem good enough for her. I asked my mom and she said he was "supposed" to say it more often and to remind her he cares. I don't really see the point, like the OP's amusing picture says, if anything changes, they'll let us know, but other than that, why should we keep repeating the same stuff over and over?

I agree fully. Must be one of those rules of society where saying certain things is so obligatory, if you don't say them continually, it's deeply offensive or hurtful or whatever. So weird that people needing a cliche phrase tossed at them on a continual basis. And then on top of that, there's all those NT guys who find saying it such an extreme difficulty.

Me too, but at the same time I can tell when someone loves me or at least likes me. Now how about that? Having to go around and say "I like you" all the time? I can only imagine how that would go over with the people I like. They'd probably start getting creeped out

I've had to deal with NT exs in the past who said it a lot and they were really not in love with me so it just made me uncomfortable since i didn't want to hurt them or say it back. I think they would fall in love with qualities of myself

but even if it is not a main squeeze saying it, an occasional i love ya bro! or i love ya sis! is great

I like being reminded that people love me.

I'm exactly like the guy in the image. If I've said it once it's still valid. I will never understand why some need or want to hear it repeatedly.

It's not all neurology either. My ex was AS, and he was very needy and wanted that nonsense said all the time. He could go on "I love you" which pretty much forced me to say the same back and he'd just go on and on with that nonsense, or "xoxoxo". He could keep it going for very long minutes, and always seemed to want more. The first time it was okay, after that... Enough already! He was very trying.

I usually just kind of assume that those I love know I love them. Also, I don't expect or feel the need for proclamations of love from others, so I don't really think of expressing affection in that way. That, and it's really, really awkward.

Been together with my gf for 14 years, getting married this summer. never uttered those 3 words to her at all. Just never felt the need to. to me people that do that are unsure of things and need constant reminders that everything is ok.

to each his own. i prefer being an "unsure" person then.

Oh it's wonderful to hear it and say it. I'm just saying I don't need to hear it all the time.
BTW, love ya bro

I remember a Star Trek episode where "let me help" was recommended above "I love you".

Anyone know which episode? Come on now...