Caught in routine, and embarrassed.

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So, until today, I'd never realized exactly how easy it is for me to become caught in routine. I mean, I know that I get upset if I can't do something I'm used to doing--shopping on the same day, taking a familiar route, having notice before having visitors, coffee in the morning, things like that. But today was the first time that I realized that, even when actively setting out to NOT follow a routine, I still wound up doing it.

When I go shopping, I usually shop just a few days in the month, and each one of those days, I buy a TON so that I don't have to go again. So, my routine is, on certain days of the month, to go in and buy EVERYTHING that I need. But, this month, I wasn't able to go on the first day that I'm used to. (Our car is broken.) So, I had to get a ride from my husband's grandmother, and my husband and daughter waited in the car, because they were napping. I fully intended to just run in, grab food for a couple of days, and run out. But, before I knew it, I found myself following the aisles like I always do, picking up everything that I always do, and just trying to run and do it FASTER, since I knew I had to hurry. I left, having shopped like I always do, even though I hadn't wanted to do that, and I had people waiting for me in the car, and I was incredibly mortified. Still am. I took an hour! and only meant to run in and out. I feel so flabbergasted, because what I did didn't even make sense--our car should be fixed tomorrow, and I could have easily done my "regular" big shopping trip then. I didn't have to do it this way, and didn't mean to. This is the first time I've ever realized that I was caught in a routine even when it was counterproductive. And, I'm sure that I've done it before, but am only realizing it now that I've found out about AS.

I guess I don't know what to do. Am I the only one who ends up caught like this? Is there anything that helps to not do this? I don't mind having my routines normally, as it helps me be a calmer, more level-headed person. But, when it is counterproductive, and there are other people counting on me to do things differently, I just can't do this.

That kind of thing is part of what it means to be an aspie. I do it too. So, I hope you're not too hard on yourself. The fact that you realized it is proof that you might be making progress though.

habits can be powerful things.

I'm glad, at least, to know that it isn't just me.

my rigidity with routines is one of the biggest reasons I have problems with change as change leads to change in routine

I hear you. I get anxious if my routine is off, especially in the mornings because it seems to affect my whole day. I even hate doctor's appointments during the work day (my coworkers seem to treat them like a get out of jail card) because it throws off my routine, even if that isn't necessarily a /bad/ thing, it's still very stressful for me.

Story of the life. Seeing it doesn't change it. But it should assist those in your life.

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Last edited by qawer on 10 Jun 2013, 1:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't have to completely stick to routine, but there's always a backlash. If I break things up one day(which I do need every so often), then the next day requires rigid adherence to routine. I might not even be conscious of it until a wrench gets thrown in.

Yes, I understand that, definitely. I do much better when I can plan out if a day is going to go differently. If I decide, "Tomorrow, I'm going for a long walk," or "Next Tuesday, doctor's appointment." But, part of that planning includes time that is less stressful before the change, and time after the change to recharge and get back into the swing of things. If I can't have that "recharge-and-regulate" time before and afterward, I become so overwhelmed, and just not myself.

They don't refer to force of habit for nothing. And it wasn't autistics who coined that phrase so I doubt it's "an AS thing".