Rambling = annoying?

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I recently had a conversation with my daxd on the phone and he said that I ramble about certain topics too much and that is the reason people don't want to socialise with me, because I don't pick up on their nonverbal signals, or let them talk when they want to. He also said people aren't always interested in my rambles about medical / pharmacology-related topics.

Do I sound annoying?

I don't care for making more friends, I have one extremely good friend (who also has AS) and a couple of other friends who I sometimes talk to. I just wonder if people all around me are actually really annoyed with me.

I have a full-time support worker at university because I experience selective mutism and severe anxiety / paranoia / sensory overload at uni. I don't ramble at everyone: I don't talk to anyone except my support worker at uni.

Do you think I should suppress the rambling, or just let it go? I don't care much about seeking human contact, I just don't want to get in trouble.

Only if you don't want to annoy others or if you want people to socialize with you, then yeah, do suppress it. I always hate it when people don't let me talk. Then they get mad at me if I interrupt them. I just get anxious to say something and then I end up not listening to them because I am holding onto my train of thought and it makes it harder for me to socialize with them. I am sure lot of people would have this issue with a rambler.

I agree with league girl. As I have gotten older I tend to be more aware that the ramblings are annoying, so I let others speak more.

I do this all the time. I've learned over the years (after so much confusion about why someone who asks, "How are you?" doesn't want to hear the WHOLE truth), to look for the signs and to self regulate. If they start looking away, at their watch, over my shoulder, or start yawning, I try to cut it short or cut down on the details.

Just for the sake of not pissing people off, it would be good to try to keep your rambling under control. You say you don't care much about seeking human contact, so luckily, you don't have to worry about it too much. Though it is possible that your rambling could drive away the friends you do have. It happened to me.

My problem is that I either ramble or go near-mute. I can't find a "middle ground".

I tend to just think, "Hey, if they can't accept you, you don't need them!" but I don't know...
I ramble on about a lot of things. I only have 1 friend I'm close with, and she's similar to me. I constantly ask if I'm annoying her, or if I'm talking about something too much, but she will say, "Hey, if you annoy me, I will tell you. I know you can't pick up on that stuff." and we'll just laugh. I guess she can be the same (but not to my level?) like, she has obsessions, too, and she likes the same TV shows and bands as me, so we spend a lot of time watching our favourite things, and listening to music together... but yeah, I talk a lot with my mother, and she gets very annoyed when I won't shut up about something. Often she'll just snap, and then apologise to me. I can't seem to stop sometimes.

I'm a rambler too and I know what you mean about not being able to find a happy medium. If I try to shut-up I just completely shut-up and am not part of the conversation, if I talk, I ramble and dominate the conversation. I never just speak the right amount.Anyway, I don't have advice because I have the same problem and haven't solved it. I just wanted to say that I can relate to that.

Hello, Im Tom and i'm diagnosed with as. when i meet someone I tend to ramble on and on if the topic is interesting to me. For an example I have a friend who lives in North Carolina and he has ADHD. Ill talk about my issues alot to people i dont know. Sometimes my parents are afraid of letting me go to the gym for a long periods of time because they might think that i will ramble on and I have a hard time picking up when people dont wanna talk. They dont want people to take me the wrong way or report me and me getting kicked out of the gym.

I have a friend who talks on and on like I do (he may have some form of an ASD but seems a lot more streetwise than me)
and we basically take turns to ramble on with each doing our best to feign interest lol We joke about each other not taking interest in what the other is saying but we are more tolerant of each others' rambling than 99% of other people in the world so it works out ok.

I find it quite comforting to listen to him going on and on about inconsequential stuff like all the things he bought at the supermarket but my attention will drift off and he will get irritated when I ask stupid questions which indicate I wasn't listening properly

Also there can be a fight for airspace as will switch to a new topic but he will try and drag the conversation back to what he was just talking about lol

I'd never usually talk like this to a stranger or most other people though as I know they wouldn't be interested
I do find when I tell someone the story of something that's happened though I find it hard to keep it short.

My problem isn't so much rambling, but I have difficulties on knowing when it is appropriate to responde back, either in a real face to face situation, or over the internet. I was recently kicked off an audio forum, because I politely asked the moderater to elaborate further on something, which seemed to me to be normal conversation, but he took it as challenging his authority.

So after four years of helping people with their audio questions, and giving away stuff with games, I was still kicked in the balls and shut out. Generally with my Asperger's Syndrome, people don't tell me if I'm communicating inappropriately. Instead I suddenly find myself either drifting behind a wall of silence, or a rather militant rejection like being totally shut out of a forum.

My response to his PM was about as long as my post here. In relation to this thread talking about rambling, he noted in the ban notice that my reply was a "rampage".

I think when you are aware that you might be annoying people by rambling, you might want to consciously stop it. Even if you don't care much about human contact, it's still a good idea to not make people think you are really annoying/weird/crazy because there are times when you need people to take you seriously.

I tend to ramble sometimes not because I want to talk about something, but because I don't like the awkward silence between the exchange. So if the other person doesn't respond immediately, I feel I have to fill the gap and end up keeping talking. I myself feel uncomfortable doing it and can often sense the other person's discomfort as well. When I want to end the conversation and go away, I still don't know how to politely do so, and often end up keeping saying unnecessary rubbish, which I'm sure the other person finds annoying. So if I can, I just avoid getting into a conversation with other people altogether.

Yes, they're probably either annoyed or bored or both.

Just being straight forward about it. I do the same to others, but less now than I used to as I've made an effort not to.

IMO it's worth the effort. Social interactions/conversations etc go smoother.. and how you do anything is how you do everything, so you'll be better at work/play etc.

Besides, there's always your AS friend to ramble about mutual special interests with.

I think it all depends on how much a person is 'in social demand'

I don't interact with many people in my day to day life now I'm not working so the problem hardly ever arises

If a person is socially popular it's proof that the rambling is being tolerated anyway and if they're not popular it might not be anything to do with the rambling

Rambling IS annoying. Dont kid yourself.

If you dont care about having friends- or being fired from jobs- just go ahead and ramble away.

But if you dont have folks around you-then there you're not going to have any audience for your rambling.

So...it would seem to be a paradox.

I never said it wasn't annoying so I'm not kidding myself about anything

I talk to friends every day - friends who want to hear what I've got to say

It's often by email so the rambling effect is less apparent

Not interacting with many people doesn't equate to no one to listen to what I say

I just mean I've cut out all the people who wouldn't be interested in what I say and just stick to the
ones who are

I like people who don't have lots of rules as to how I'm meant to talk and on what topics - I can't be friends with
people like that - they are far too restrictive and we have nothing in common

No way on this earth am I going to jump through hoops to impress people like that as they never impress me
with anything they have to say