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Amy
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 15 Jul 2004
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24 Jul 2004, 6:10 am

Has anyone had a relationship, strong friendship, or romantically, with another aspie? Was it better, easier, closer, harder? I'd be interested to know, I would love to have aspie friends in real life, but I havent been so lucky so far. I feel a special bond to other aspies online though, and more supported.



sparkplugloy
Deinonychus
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24 Jul 2004, 9:36 am

I have never had a relationship with another aspie in real life, or at least I did not know they were aspies. But the truth is that I have never had any strong friendship in real life. I analyze things too much, it seems. Or they always end up thinking I am too weird. Most of the people I appreciate and talk to are people I met through the Internet.

I think it would be easier and harder at the same time.
It would be easier because the two persons would understand each other's condition. But it could be harder in some conditions, because they may stick to their own ideas. I think that the fact that a friendship or romantic relationship between two Aspie will work or not does not only depend on the fact that they are Asperger. To sum up, I am not sure whether it would be better or harder, but I know that in most cases, people feel more bonded to other people who are like them.

I would like to know other members' answers.

Loy


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Unico
Pileated woodpecker
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25 Jul 2004, 7:36 pm


Well, I think it really depends on what subtypes the two people are, because there's so much variety on the autistic spectrum. I've only met one person (that I know of) in real life diagnosed with AS, and she made me uncomfortable. We had a few things in common, but our personalities were very different. And she had violent tendencies, and violence scares me immensely (not that I don't get angry, I just express myself verbally).

However, I have reason to believe my best friend has AS. We are *very* similar, and she displays a lot of the typical characteristics and I'm pretty sure she would meet diagnostic criterion (not that that's all that useful, especially considering AS is something that's only begun being diagnosed relatively recently). We have some of the same interests, and the other interests that we don't share are areas we don't mind learning about. We have similar temperaments. We're very sensitive and introverted and get scared by change. We support each other well and have odd beliefs and views that most people do not have. We are both very honest and naive.

I also tend to get along with a number off ADD/ADHD people, who often have certain things in common (experiential, possibly interests) with people with AS.



KtMcS
Sea Gull
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29 Jul 2004, 1:23 pm

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=17

we had a bit of a debate about this on the relationship board


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