Are most people with Aspergers shy, or are they confident...

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I was just thinking ar most people with Aspergers shy, or are they confident, hyperactive. I've heard that some Aspies are very hyperactive; but still have some social difficulties. Was just wondering.

That depends on their personality. We are far more than our aspergers alone ofcourse.

My impression is that more of us lean to the shy side, but both types definitely exist.

I've met people with Asperger's who seem outgoing, but I'm not sure how confident they were because I didn't know them very well. They may actually have been very insecure and unsure of themselves behind all that energy.

This. I think there is great diversity. I come off as really confident, but I have many psychological scars and insecurities beneath this. I just find that it feels better to block off these memories/traumas than to dwell on them and let them get me down. Sometimes, however, people do trigger them (usually by getting too personal) and that's when everything comes out.

Being excluded and picked on for reasons you can't understand tends to make a person shy, but there are exceptions.

I'm not shy or confident. I'm loud and have low self esteem.

I'm confident but not hyperactive. I don't see why the two have to go together.

In regards to shyness, I don't think that is necessarily the case for autistic peoples. I would characterize myself as more avoidant than 'shy'. Definition of shy calls for some level of social inhibition, as I understand it. The issue for me isn't so much inhibition as it is irritation and impatience with the necessity of social interaction. Also exhaustion at the amount of mental energy required for me to keep social interaction smooth/avoided negative reaction from others.

I'm hyperactive and quite outgoing in social events (probably my ADHD part). However, I enjoy much more being alone. Social environments make me feel exhausted.

Indeed, I see going to social events and parties as a toll to keep social circles. Once there, I try to be as funny and outgoing as possible, since being so reduces the number of social events that I need to attend to keep my circles.

Last edited by Greb on 08 Apr 2013, 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, same for me, this exactly.

What about those that are shy but try to act confident?

Well, I think what happens is aspies are uneasy more than shy and that uneasiness can cause a person to become over stimulated and manic in their behavior. Or the uneasiness can cause them to become brash.

Most of the time I try to keep to myself. But sometimes, and this seems to happen a lot at my local grocery store, I'll become very vocal in airing a complaint or criticism. Like I'm trying to include everyone around me. I'm sure I have a reputation there amongst the clerks. They don't try to "help me" at the self check out anymore that's for sure

I think many of us with AS, who have been rejected, excluded, bullied etc pretty much for all our lives, will natually have shy-ish tendencies.

I also hear some AS people can be (seen as) quite "in your face" when interacting with others - would that be seen as "confident"? But even those people probably feel disliked and don't have much confidence.

Like NTs, it depends on the personality.

I'm a shy/introverted Aspie, and I think I'd be a quiet person with or without AS, being so most people in my family are the shy type. I may be wrong, but I am just assuming.

I also suffer with social phobia. The way I see it, I only have a mild case of AS, but the social phobia is severe.

As I understand it, that reaction is probably due to the autistic person not following appropriate NT social boundaries in their interaction. While it is true that lack of, or poor, eye contact is common amongst people on the spectrum, there are also many autistic people who make eye contact too much and in too direct a way.

So, say if an autistic person is making very direct and piercing eye contact, standing too close (NT social boundary), and speaking too loud, etc. that is the probable explanation for NT reaction of "in your face".