being with vs. interacting with

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I find that when I really long for human contact, more often than not, I don't actually want to talk to people...I just want to be with people -- like in the same room, in their company, but not necessarily interacting with them directly....or maybe just playing cards or something, but without conversation.

Not to say I don't sometimes want to talk to people -- I'm writing to connect with people right now! (In this context, talking and writing are more or less the same -- i.e. connecting through words.)

Is anybody else like this?

Yes, I often play video games or Draughts with my friend without a lot of interaction.

Yes

OMG this is so me. It is one of the things my boyfriend and I argue about all the time. I am perfectly happy to sit in our room together each doing our own thing on our computers, maybe chatting here and there and going out to smoke ciggs together, but he doesn't consider this "spending time together" because we aren't directly engaged in the same thing. Ugh, I am sure I will never get this stuff right

You just described me exactly!

I agree also that it's easier to get a "people fill or need for interaction fill" like this. Its easier to not have to make conversation. When i attempt to conversate either i zone out so people think i'm in outer space, i am talking to fast, too random for others to follow. (i connect the dots in my head). Small talk i just don't think is necessary.. sometimes i think there are NTs who hate smalltalk out there..

My neighbor is very introverted also. Aside from her husband and us (her neighbors) she only interacts with those she works with. She works with elderly people at a live in home. She said it is rewarding and some of the elderly have become good friends. They play cards and garden there. I can understand that =) She is technically not NT, and her husband totally has Aspie traits! In any case of course they are our favorite neighbors here

Yay, I'm not alone!

Maybe you just have some differences in your respective needs/ways for connecting? (As opposed to you not getting it right...) I find it can be hard to figure stuff out with other people because everybody's needs are different!



I do the random thing, too -- I'm terrible at using the kinds of words that tell people my mind has shifted off one thing and gone to another -- or the type of words that show non-spatial connections...so other people can't understand why I say things. Talking is hard for me, really exhausting. And with most people conversation is very confusing....so it can actually make me feel more distanced instead of connected with whoever I'm talking to.

Mostly the thing for me is that, if I'm around people I just don't need to talk to them to feel connected to them -- talking just isn't necessary for me, and a lot of the time I don't need much direct non-verbal interaction either.

Yes, when I want to be with people, I just want to be in the same room, like watchinig my brother play his video games, or my mom when she's watching tv, and me reading or something.

I do feel the same way. Also watching a movie works as long as people aren't talking during the movie. And games like Mario Party works too.

Yes. I love people who can just be themselves while I sit quietly in the same room with them I need company too

when I do want social interaction, I just want to be around someone, not talking to them. mostly it's just being in their proximity or leaning on them.

Yes. Long conversations can just be exhausting to the point where I will involuntarily completely tune out. I like being on the outskirts of other people, so I can add to a conversation without having to carry it.

Sounds very much like me. I think it's so lovely when we're just in the living room together preoccupied with separate quiet activities, like reading. It's so nice and relaxing Thankfully I get this a bit with my family.
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy it when we play board/card games or talk and have fun.

I also like it when I'm with someone who won't (try to) force me into actively interacting with them, someone who can either be silent with me without feeling awkward, or being with at least 2 more people and just be still and quiet and listen to them. I met with two of my junior high classmates some years ago and at some point they started reminiscing about elementary school. They both went to another elementary school than I did, and I just sat back and listened and very much enjoyed hearing about their childhood memories before we got to know each other. It was so good to just be there and I was relaxed and they were taking care of the talking and it just felt really good. (I'm a sucker for nostalgia.) I like being a passive listener.

If I had known someone who was generally okay with being with, or who'd just let me be there, I might have been more interested in 'socializing' (not sure if it can rightly be called that).

I hear so much about lonely old people. If only they'd be happy to do the talking and were nostalgic, I would have been happy to spend time with them, but I guess most want actual interaction and active listeners. A pity, 'cause I love hearing stories about the olden days, old people's memories of the war, their childhood stories, what it was like to live back then.

Yep.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parallel_play

I can socialise like a toddler! I rule.

I do this with my family and my husband's family. It's a form of socializing. I don't have anyone else to be with except these people I know who are friends with my in laws and my husband worked for the guy. They do barbecues for the 4th of July and for Labor Day and I go there and sit inside while everyone else socializes. I go to my autism groups and just sit there.

Yes, very much so

Myself and the friend I live with can happily sit at our computers and not talk for a lot of the time outside of
asking each other if we want a drink

It's companionable silence and I like it

I think I feel a lot more at ease if I can talk to someone while doing something else. I don't like situations where I'm just expected to talk, like in a cafe or restaurant - I find this far too pressurising. Add in that there's other people sitting around and that makes it doubly stressful as I will always be far too aware of the other people and feel threatened by them/ill at ease

When we eat our meals at home we watch TV at the same time so we will either be watching or discussing the programme.

We practically never sit down just to talk