Um ok so how do I get diagnosed with Aspergers?

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This might be a stupid question, but I have no clue, and researching online is getting me nowhere. I used to have Kaiser so I'm used to everything done under the same roof. Now I have a cheapie PPO Anthem Blue Cross health insurance. I guess I should call them but you would understand, I hate talking on the phone. Anybody can tell me where to go or how to go about getting evaluated for Aspergers (and probably ADHD)? Will it be expensive? I'm in California in Riverside county if that helps, and I'm a 35 year old female.

I just found out about Aspergers recently because my 4 yr old son was diagnosed HFA last fall and my 2 yr old son is being evaluated in May (he actually seems more delayed then the older diagnosed one so I'm sure he's autistic too). Plus he is getting services from the IRC already due to a speech delay.

So I'm reading about autism and Aspergers and I totally recognized the signs in my life. Being called "weird" all the time (and not in a joking way, in a "OMG WHY ARE YOU SO WEIRD??" angry way), having bad eye contact, being extremely socially awkward, feeling like I don't have anything to say or I don't know what to say OR saying rude things when I didn't mean to be rude and I'm not even a mean person, having a hard time understanding how other people are feeling or expecting of me, having pretty much no friends right now. I have friends but nobody I'm extremely close with and can count on. I am married to an NT husband and he is so frustrated with me because of all the Aspie qualities I have (being sensitive to touch, not expressing myself or talking much, not showing or giving affection much, he says he feels so lonely with me and that I'm the worst person to be around when they're sick bc I don't do anything or know what to do). I feel so bad for him and I want to change but it's so hard for me bc I don't even know where to start or how to change. I'm wondering if being diagnosed with Aspergers will help. Most of the info I find online is geared toward NT women married to Aspergers men so I can only relate so much and I feel like I'm reading that all the adjusting falls to the NT spouse and it seems like thats totally unfair. So I really need help.

This is pretty much my first post on this site and first admission online about probably having Aspergers. Maybe you guys can give me some advice? Sorry if I'm all over the place....

Everyone who was an awkward underconfident teen thinks they have aspergers. They think it's some sort of club said "weird" people want to be in to identify with a group and fight the NTs. You'd be better off asking an official diagnostic professional these questions. I was able to get diagnosed for free under the mental health institute in my state. Do some homework, get that aspie badge of honor you want so badly and then go home and realize you haven't really gained anything besides a label that'll stay with you forever on your medical record and if you talk to anyone they'll either assume you're a savant or ret*d.

Here you go.

Riverside links.

Thank you redrobin for the link.

TSproggy, I figured since my son was diagnosed autistic that since it might be genetic that I could have it too, since he reminds me so much of me. I figure it could explain problems in my relationships and knowledge is said to be the first step. That's why I'm asking if it will help. Sounds like getting diagnosed has gotten you nowhere but that might not be the case with everyone. Chill!

I think what one doesn't do is, go to ones doctor or whoever and say "I must have Aspergers syndrome!". I think too many people are doing that. And it seems they also have an attitude of, "I have already diagnosed myself as having Aspergers and I insist that my self-diagnosis be confirmed!".

Rather than that, I think a person should say something more like, "I think maybe there might be something wrong with me upstairs and I want to get checked to see if I'm okay". Then one's doctor or whoever will probably ask that person why they think they have a psychological/neurological problem.

I think at this point, the last thing one should do is say something like, "I read all this stuff about Aspergers online". Instead, I think it would be best to tell the doctor or whoever, why you feel that way, the same way you would have told whoever, before you found out about the existence of Aspergers. Give the doctor or whoever a candid response rather that quoting Aspergers symptoms.

Then let whoever proceed with an overall diagnosis. The way I was diagnosed is, they knew something was wrong with me. It was their idea to test me and diagnose me with autism, not my idea.

Chances are one will just be viewed as a hypochondriac if one decides ahead of time that one has Aspergers, which one very well may not.
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Thank you BrianKelley that does make sense.

There'll only be three levels.

Level 1 Requiring support - Without supports in place, deficits in social communication cause noticeable impairments. Has difficulty initiating social interactions and demonstrates clear examples of atypical or unsuccessful responses to social overtures of others. May appear to have decreased interest in social interactions.
Rituals and repetitive behaviors (RRB’s) cause significant interference with functioning in one or more contexts. Resists attempts by others to interrupt RRB’s or to be redirected from fixated interest.

Level 2 Requiring extensive support - Marked deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills; social impairments apparent even with supports in place; limited initiation of social interactions and reduced or abnormal response to social overtures from others.
Marked deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills; social impairments apparent even with supports in place; limited initiation of social interactions and reduced or abnormal response to social overtures from others.

Level 3 Requiring very substantial support - Severe deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills cause severe impairments in functioning; very limited initiation of social interactions and minimal response to social overtures from others.
Preoccupations, fixated rituals and/or repetitive behaviors markedly interfere with functioning in all spheres. Marked distress when rituals or routines are interrupted; very difficult to redirect from fixated interest or returns to it quickly.

Brian, Well I'm reading that Asperger's in girls are more likely to go undiagnosed or diagnosed later in life, especially after their kid was diagnosed. I don't want to go thru all the symptoms cuz it'll take too long. But to summarize, when i was young I did a lot of social mimicking, and staying on the outskirts of social situations, a lot of smiling and nodding when I really just didn't know what the heck ppl were talking about. I do try to be social but it doesnt last very long cuz i physically get tired. I was always bad with small talk and have trouble with back-and-forth conversation; But I think ppl just thought I was shy and quiet. And i was in the gifted program and had a high IQ and mostly straight As (until college!). Book smart but not street smart? I just always felt like I was different (in a bad way) but didn't know why. It seemed like EVERYONE was better at social stuff than I was. Of course now I have social anxiety as an adult.

Then my brother was diagnosed with ADHD in college and he told me that I should get diagnosed too since he thought I was even worse than him. Which i agreed and then for years I assumed all my problems were due to ADD. But I never got diagnosed cuz I didn't know how or i was scared and procrastinated. But my hubby believed I had deeper issues. Then the kids happened, and it became clear to me that ADD was only a part of it. Hubby has said the more we learn about autism from the kids, the better he understands ME. Which is still not much lol...

whether I am diagnosed as Aspie or not, there's no question that I have some kind of mental issue that needs professional attention. I didn't realize that so many ppl think they have Asperger's that those who are diagnosed are like "whatever" about it. I honestly don't need the label, I just want support that I'm not the only one with these kinds of problems and help to overcome them. I probably won't even post here anymore until I get evaluated. Thanks for the responses.