Attention from parents during early development

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Do you think you got plenty of good interaction with your parents during your early development, or not really? Were you left to yourself a lot?

As always, I'm sure someone might have asked this before. But I wonder if Autism could really be as simple as not forming as many neural connections in the brain in response to socializing with your parents. Your brain is growing a lot during these years, there's a reason they're called formative years.

My own parents spent some time with me, and I turned out to be pretty mild as an Aspie, but I remember playing by myself a lot too as they were busy people in my early years. I don't know whether to look at solitude as the cause or the effect though; Did I develop ASD because I was left to myself so much, or did I prefer to keep to myself so much because I had ASD?

I'm sure this is just one more ridiculous theory, but I'm curious anyways. I won't go insisting that this is the reason.

Good question!

Although my mother likes to insist she gave me a lot of attention as a young child, and I guess I must have got some, the fact is that she was drunk most of the time, and my very early memories are of having to amuse myself. Oh yeah, and of the time she was so drunk she dropped an iron on my head I think my dad tried his best but he was working a lot.
So there's at least one case to back up your theory

Of course ASD being what it is, there are bound to be a heap of cases at the opposite end of the argument!

Edit: Judging by how many Aspies have NT siblings, I would say that we are born different. Maybe the fact that NT parents don't quite 'get' us leads to them leaving us more to our own devices than an NT child who reacts in the expected ways.

Last edited by Moomingirl on 13 Apr 2013, 3:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

I remember my childhood as playing or being by myself all the time, but I know from photos etc that my parents were there and trying to interact with me and sometimes succeeding.

What you are proposing sounds like Borderline personality Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder. Neglect and being left alone while a baby/child causes the brain to stunt in growth and the result is BPD and RAD.

There are many theories about what causes autism. Lack of oxygen at birth, prematurity, toxin exposure while in utero, heredity, geniuses in the family line... etc... but as for neglect... that is claimed already

Also... you said... But I wonder if Autism could really be as simple as not forming as many neural connections in the brain - actually a study recently shows too much connectivity in many on the spectrum.

I am not so much into wanting to know what caused me to be autistic, but how to cope, stay centered and live in as little stress as possible.

**edit: Here is a comparison of neglected vs healthy brains - http://bit.ly/10Scmc0

I don't know how much attention I got.
I've heard theories that autism is associated with hyperconnectivity rather than underconnectivity.

Just want to add an interesting anecdote related to neglect in childhood:

I read a book about 20 years ago, about a girl who had been horribly neglected by her family. Basically they locked her in another room, threw food in but never actually interacted with her.

The author (from memory I think he was a neuropsychologist) took her in and made her part of his family. But due to her early neglect, there were some things she just could not learn. The thing that really brought it to mind was that she had issues with eating appropriately in public, and other 'socially acceptable' behaviors. Even though she was by all accounts very bright, it appeared that these parts of her brain just hadn't linked up, and even after a long time with the family, she just didn't understand what was expected. It made me think of Aspies lack of ability to understand social cues and expectations.

Anyway, it is a half-remembered anecdotal story. I can't remember what the diagnosis was, and of course she could have been Aspie to start with, and the neglect was entirely unrelated. I thought it might interest you nonetheless. I might go off and look that book up again now.

Edit: I found it. Not really applicable to Aspergers, but interesting anyway from a neurological development point of view. WARNING - if you are overly sensitive to suffering I suggest you do not read this. It's pretty horrific.
Sorry, having a problem with the link. But you can look at Wikipedia and search Genie Feral Child

I really can't tell, because of this age I wasn't interested in other people and was withdrawn since very early on.

I think my mom cared for me too much, and also my maids. I didn't like that type of attention.
But I rarely spent any time with my father.

Thinking back, I do believe that I am quite spoiled, but I still don't like my mum because I do not agree with her actions.
I prefer my dad much more.

How do I put it? Although she bought me a lot of expensive toys, she did physically abuse me when she was angry.
And if I fail my exams, she did cane me for each failed subject.
AND also if I didn't satisfy my piano teacher.
She was also very intolerant when it comes to mistakes.

I think I developed my very strict character from her.

Yes my parents did show mw a lot of attention from the years 1966 to 1969, Thats because they thought I had a learning disability which British people define by an IQ of below 70 and because I experienced febrile convulsions as a baby which was misdiagnosed as causing brain damage which I am not sure if that was a common thing or not. I was given a lot of affection and I was also on high doses of benzodiazepines for the first few years of my life. There was a feeling during this time that they tried to make sure I was happy and they thought I was very affectionate liked the hugs. I They were only like this because they thought I had a learning disability and since 1974 things had changed for the worst.

My mum always had hopes for the allistic siblings my sister she expected to go to university which she did, my eldest brother would become a carpenter and he did and my other brother my mum hoped he would become a bank manager or accountant and he did do accountancy/book keeping. She never had any such hopes either she said she only wanted me to live or just a rapid change of subject which made me aware of allistic supremacism and neurobigotry. Most other aspies I know have been mistaken for allistic people until proven otherwise.

Mom spent a lot of time with me. She stayed home, interacted with me a lot, read to me constantly, to the point that I picked up reading myself by the time I was four.

Certainly no refrigeration here!

My mom was really attentive to me -- she was a stay-at home mom and spent lots of time with me.

I never guessed at the stories this question would bring out, all of you who had a rough childhood each have my sympathy,
Mine was relatively tame, my parents were busy sometimes and they did have high expectations for me, but they were never abusive. I have to give them a lot of credit actually.
I'm so sorry to hear about things like being caned or otherwise abused happened to you; Mooms, I'm glad you had your dad and sorry about the alcoholism and the iron. If it's any comfort, it wasn't on purpose, but one day when I was with my mom at age 3, I did fall out of a shopping cart on my head. ...Maybe that did it to me.

I like how you put that!

It's great to hear the overconnectivity theory actually, that might match my experience better. I frequently had run-ins with my old boss because I did tasks incorrectly that he assigned me, because I saw too many ways to interpret the instructions he gave, and he wasn't always available for questions.

Thanks for indulging this question everyone, this is just a way for me to learn more about aspects of this and the peripheral issues. I was surprised to hear this sounded more like the causes of other existing diagnoses.

I've even heard and understood that there are no easy answers for ASD, and I believe that's the case. It's just hard not to wonder a little when you come across something plausible, and you want to see if there's some kind of a correlation (obviously not, in this case!). Ultimately, I know I'm not going to "solve it" with a forum post.

All the trying out of theories that we do reminds me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fTBM_3s ... u.be&t=57s

I was reading on my own by four as well. That's why I had to put myself down as a 'don't know' regarding parental attention. I don't remember getting much attention, but then someone must have helped me learn to read. I might have to ask my brothers about that one.

My mom was working her tail feathers off at two jobs, so I didn't really spend that much time with her. My father couldn't hold a job, so he was home all the time. I remember paying and entertaining myself with no one else around, though. My dad certainly wasn't really there.