Dog behaviour and AS

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I have a little rescue dog (one year old, had her since she was 3-4 months old) and have noticed that although I spend a great deal of time with her and she is obviously affectionate towards me, her behaviour with me is quite different to the way she reacts with others (NT's). I live with my grown up NT daughter and my dog is much more interested in her, will behave better with her and obeys her commands. Also, the way she reacts to other dogs and people we meet when out is fairly dominant and occasionally agressive. I've had dogs before with similar reactions. I should add, I'm not a very sociable person.........
I've been wondering whether this is connected to the way I react/relate to people and the dog is picking up on that and would be interested to find out if others have had similar experiences. ie is it my reactions that the dog is picking up on or maybe am I subconsciously teaching her to react like me, when with me. Or is my body language/ behaviour placing me lower down the doggy pecking order. My daughter thinks that I am last, in the house pecking order haha!
Any thoughts?

You mean you are the omega? You are just not radiating enough energy. The dog thinks you are subordinate. It is possible

Hmm. I am the only male, and only Aspie, in my immediate family.

I have two dogs and they regard me as the alpha - they always respond much more excitedly to my presence than (say) to my eldest daughter, even though she feeds them every night (I feed them in the morning). My wife plays with the dogs as much as I do, and she takes them for walks about as often as I do, I think, but they still respond more excitedly to me than to her. They must have decided that I was the pack leader in the family, and so chief dog, even though my wife and eldest daughter are more outgoing and sociable than I am, and play an important role in the dogs' lives. And I am not even any taller than my wife - height cannot be the missing factor.

So I don't know if they are just "sexist" dogs who prefer a male human leader to a female human leader, or whether I exude some other hidden "alpha-ness" that I cannot detect. It annoys the women in the household a little that the dogs prefer me despite how much they (the women) dote on the dogs. Perhaps I just smell like a top dog!

If only we could interview dogs and ask them.

Possibly even zeta ha ha.
It is puzzling, she obeys what others say, but has a what's in it for me, off-hand manner towards my commands, although she is affectionate towards me. Maybe she just isn't that interested in me ha ha. When anyone else comes to the house she gets very excited before the door is open, leaps up when hears the door even if asleep. I come home, she sleepily looks at me and will wander over after a minute or two. My daughter was away with her for a couple of days and when they came home she walked straight past me, wouldn't pay any attention to me for ages. My ex-wife came to visit, hasn't for some months, and the dog was all over her.
Puzzling?

[quote="one-A-N"]Hmm. I am the only male, and only Aspie, in my immediate family.

Yes me too! And the tallest, although have to admit I'm not exactly assertive.............

... and I feed her!

I have just the opposite with my little dog. Also a rescue from an abusive puppy mill, we have had him for over a year, and it is obvious to anyone watching for more than a minute that he is MY dog. I am the only female in the house and the only aspie and he obviously prefers me. When my husband or one of our boys calls him, its a 50/50 chance if he will go to them. He spends most of his time laying under my leg (he's a miniature dachshund and very small) He does not do well with other people (except oddly for my dad when we visit them, but that could be because he sees him playing with his dogs) and only made up with my husband that first day because he shared his meatloaf sandwich. Our oldest boy he still has to go pick him up to play with him. We joke that my dog has aspergers too.

Is she a small breed? Small breeds often have dominance issues - mainly because being dominant has been breed out of many larger breeds.

Anyway, it's not that tricky to assert dominance over a dog. There are two main things I recommend.

Firstly, on a regular basis, you should gently but firmly pin her on her back and put your hands on her neck. Don't hurt her, but don't let her up either. Hold her like that for a little bit, then let her up.

Secondly, start giving her commands before you do nice things for her. For example, if you're about to feed her, tell her to sit, and only give her the food once she's sitting. (Make sure to use a command she understands, of course.) Or if you have a fenced yard she runs out in, make her sit before you let her out.

[quote="Ettina"]Is she a small breed? Small breeds often have dominance issues - mainly because being dominant has been breed out of many larger breeds.

Yes she is a chihuahua cross possibly with a pom, probably was bred as a teacup dog as very small 2.5kg, but does she have attitude! Previous dog I had that behaved that way was a greyhound, which made me think it might be me.

I have tried pinning, she used to bite a lot and I ask her to sit for food etc. Won't always respond, doesn't get fed until she does. She's responsive with treats for tricks, she's quick to learn. I'm trying to do all the right stuff, just wondered if there was a connection to AS.

Not as far as I know.

It has more to do with assertiveness, I think. A highly assertive AS person (like me) would get respect from a dog the same way a highly assertive NT does. And unassertive people, whether AS or NT, tend to be seen as less dominant by dogs, and might get challenged for dominance by a more dominant dog.

My dog loves me, but he doesn't necessarily obey me!

I think the way I treat him (he gets spoilt rotten, allowed on the couch, cuddled etc) means that he doesn't see me as very dominant over him. So sometimes he obeys me, other times he just looks at me as if to say "you're kidding, right?"

I do find that advice to make the dog more submissive to you does help. I don't like the 'pinning them' on their back, but my dog does eat after us, has to 'wait' for his dinner until he has permission, and has to sit and wait at doorways for us to go through first. When I remember to enforce those things he is better behaved

He is quite dominant over other dogs, but he has always been like that. I think it must be due to something that happened before we got him (he was already a young adult).

If you read a few dog books, based more around how to understand them and train them in a way that corresponds to how they naturally learn (i.e. pack behaviour), I think it will help you. Good luck!

I do not think it is so much an AS thing, but just a reflection of your relationship with your dog.

My relationship with the family dog is definitively special. He is a golden retriever so he loves anybody he meets, however, he is especially affectionate to me and particularly excited when I come by. I often retreat from the stress of human interaction to visit with my always welcoming and infinitely forgiving companion.

Now I am most definitely not assertive whatsoever, but he is also more well behaved with me then he is other family members. I am not dominant towards him or anyone, however everyone else has a much harder time keeping his very energetic self in line. As others have suggested breed and temperament is a big part of it as well.