more and more confused =(

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I am more confused than ever, i tried to explain to my mother what is in my mind but the only thing i did was make her angry.
i used to copy others actions so she didn't really noticed, lets say "how weird i am", she was never very interested in my interactions with other people.

So i am not sure if it was a good decision in trying to explain. she doesn't understand a thing i say and last time we talked i told her i was happy that math exist because its the only thing i understand in this world, and then she said: go to other planet and have a child with math and do everything with math.
That wasn't the idea, i mean, i would like to go other planet, but what i wanted was tell her how lost i am. Its very difficult for me to express, and it is happening right now. Maybe i should keep copying others, rather than trying to understand why.

at least until i learn how to express correctly my thoughts

i feel so sorry for you, i'm much oder than you at 55 .... confusion is getting worse, my life feels and/ or is .... three cups and a ball or swimming up a waterfall ...

luckily routine and structure to my life helps, and pray to God I remain 'interested' in things, otherwise i'm snookered !

it's nearly impossible to explain to a neurotypical person the sort of thoughts that you as an autistic person has. It just doesn't make sense to them.

It sounds like your mom needs to read a book by Tony Attwood or similar. It might help her and many NT's alike to read how a AS child/adult thinks and acts from a well respected Dr. like him. I personally think that it's a shame though that a parent can't truly take the word of their own child though on how they think about things. I mean no one knows better on how someone thinks than the person thinking it.

I too, as a recently discovered and psychologist agreed AS adult, have similar troubles explaining the way I think to my wife, who herself is a Borderline personality so not really NT. For instance, I tell her that with so many stressors going on in my life at the moment that for me, I just want to be left alone to deal with them and not go out and try to socialize and make new friends. That is her solution, go make new friends and start some new social endeavors. I explained that that would further aggravate my irritability and cause much more stress, but she just doesn't understand it. To her, socializing is a stress reliever and she needs to be with others to be able to relax and deal with life. I tell her that I need to isolate to deal with things and she is baffled. I believe this is an ongoing battle between NT's and Aspies.

[quote="kirostun"]I am more confused than ever, i tried to explain to my mother what is in my mind but the only thing i did was make her angry.
So i am not sure if it was a good decision in trying to explain. she doesn't understand a thing i say and last time we talked i told her i was happy that math exist because its the only thing i understand in this world, and then she said: go to other planet and have a child with math and do everything with math.[/quote="kirostun"]

Perhaps I am naive, but I´d say: Let her sleep on it. Rejection is often the first reaction to news, that disrupts the accustomed picture of everyday normality. This is something new, she has to deal with, and It makes her uneasy. Try another day.
Have you tried the simple words: "Mom, I need to talk to you. I feel lost"? You put it so fine and understandable in here.

I am recently diagnosed aspie 38 F

I never realized it was because of being Aspie that my mum's reactions to me are like 'that's rubbish' or 'what else do you think about when the day is long'
idk not the best examples of stuff she says but it is like you just explained something major to me that my THOUGHTS are actually not NT

Yeah, right now it is like this.