Recurrent intrusive thoughts

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Over the past few years I have really had a problem with intrusive thoughts from my past failures and from being bullied and things that like. They seem to have a very sensitive trigger, and little things set them off-with me spending days telling myself what a loser I am and feeling depressed and angry.

I try most of the simple things to get over them, like focusing on the present, look at the good things I have today, trying to challenge them, etc. None of that really seems to work, they just keep coming back. Sometimes I can distract myself for a while with some intense focused activity and they go away briefly, but they always come back.

I don't think I have OCD as there are no compulsions associated with them. I don't think I have schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder, as I don't think I have lost touch with reality, but then, if you had, how would you know it? Is this a symptom of Aspergers? Could it be a symptom of something else? Two of the therapists I have talked to don't think I have PTSD but I am really starting to wonder. It sure seems like I might. One therapist does think I show symptoms of it due to being sexually abused in the past, but that is not what the thought are about.

The exact same thing happens to me every now and then. Typically my intrusive thoughts border on delusions, but I do get particular "flashbacks" to bad relationships and experiences from my past which ramps up my anxiety and depression. As my signature says, I was diagnosed with Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder; the latter is typified by very intense emotions and a distorted sense of self-image which lends itself to constant self-shaming and feelings of worthlessness. I'm obviously not saying you have BPD, but such a thing can certainly be a symptom of it.

Thanks for the feedback. That is a possibility on BPD. I have taught Abnormal Psychology several times and thought for a while that I might have BPD, as I do kind of show some of the symptoms. A couple of people who knew me who worked with Borderline clients didn't think I looked like I have it. I also didn't have the intimate relationships that goes with BPD, and the first couple of them I did have I bailed out of them, which is very uncommon for someone with BPD to do. Still, I can get obsessed with people from time to time. Will have to look more at that again.

I don't fit the normal stereotype for OCD, but they diagnosed me with having obsessive psychotic intrusive thoughts. I'm not sure mine is quite like yours, what with the psychotic part, but it might be related. It usually is an OCD thing, but I'm not very OCD, just about some things.

Since August last year, I've been having intrusive thoughts on a situation that occurred then (not sure I can call it a traumatic experience, but it was a complete shock that changed a lot about my life and how I view people). The depression doesn't help at all and it leads me into a cycle of self hating and anger and frustration. The more depressed I get, the worse the intrusive thoughts get, the worse the depression gets...

Intrusive disturbing thoughts and memories come into my head regularly. I acknowledge them and move on. They'll be back. The ghosts that haunt me..

Rather than intrusive thoughts, might it be "obsessive rumination"? The latter seems to be linked with autism in some studies.

For me it is not obsessive. The thoughts spring from nowhere randomly. There was a time when I was so disturbed by them that I tried deal with them with compulsive thinking. It doesn't get rid of them, but makes them worse, so now I just accept them.
I also hear music sometimes. I love it.

I have had those in the past, and still have a couple that can get triggered. What lessened the past ones are all the techniques mentioned, but it has taken more than a few years. Gentle, patient persistence has proven key for me.

This, they just pop up. The psychotic thoughts are the worst, they'll be some horrific scene that just pops up out of nowhere with no meaning. Sometimes, I'll get a word stuck in my head and it won't stop repeating itself, or a situation that will play over and over and over again.
I like the music part, usually, though sometimes it's a song I dislike, lol.
I've come to terms with the fact that it's not going to go away, and I've accepted it, and that's made it better and easier to cope with.

Exactly... I think it is a natural response to traumatic experiences. Even violent thoughts are not a problem according to the psychiatrist who diagnosed me. Thoughts are just thoughts, nothing more.

It might be those. I am constantly tormented by thoughts of what a loser I am and how unattractive I must have been because my dating and relationship history in high school and college wasn't very good. I also think constantly of all of the things I missed out on-the sexual encounters and such.

I have been married for 15 years now, to a woman who most describe as attractive. Our level of intimacy is about half of what it should be for people in our age group, but it is better than some friends I have. I have a good job which I enjoy. I have tried everything people say. I try to focus on these positive things. I try to focus on the fact that I am a different person now. I try to make gratitude lists. I try to challenge the thoughts with the fact that I am married. I have tried it all, nothing works. They always come back.

Like another poster I am pretty much resigning myself to the idea that they will never leave. The best I can do is to try and function as best as I can amidst them and the depression they cause. It wasn't always this way. I had quite a few years where they were absent. Then they started back around 2011 and have been here ever since. My father and one of my best friends recently died. You would think I would be grieving that. I am not, I am spending all my time with these stupid intrusive loser thoughts. I can't make them go away.

But you know you're not a loser!

Do you have thoughts saying how great it is to be a full professor?

Occasionally, but not as often. Wish I could. I guess I never felt a need to prove my intelligence. I was never bullied over that or called stupid. I was repeated bullied over my appearance, called a loser, even my dad called me ugly a couple of times.

Me too. I have them.

Intellectually I know that, but emotionally is a different story. I still feel it much of the time. As I said before, I have tried challenging the thought with the current facts, and it doesn't do much good. When they do go away, they come back so easily and quickly. All it takes is the mention of sex on TV (which is all of the time) or in a conversation, or seeing high school or college couples together, stuff that common and simple, and everywhere!

I emailed one of my therapists today, and his response was to just love my wife and daughter more. That is a solution??? I emailed him back saying I don't mean to be disrespectful, but if it just took loving my wife and daughter more, we wouldn't be having this email exchange-I probably wouldn't even be in therapy then. I do see him on Monday, maybe he can elaborate on that comment. He has done hypnotherapy on me before, maybe some intensive hypnosis will eventually work. He does treat many soldiers with PTSD, but as I stated before, he doesn't think I have it.

I sure have something, that is definitely obvious. Not sure which disorder might be causing it, or if there is any medication to kill these thoughts. I know the SSRIs are used for anxiety and obsessional thinking, but I can't sleep well on them and don't need to sexual side effects that go with them. Age is causing enough problems in that area. I take elavil now for tension headaches, but to get any antidepressant effects out of it you have to take so much so often that you are pretty much asleep most of the time.

I experience exactly the same, and I am in fact, diagnosed with PTSD. I am also diagnosed with OCD and AS, but, according to my therapist, my triggers stem from trauma that I experienced and the trauma manifested into PTSD. Exposure to certain people, personalities, behaviors of others, phrases, environments, anything that resembles something related to, or, is similar to the traumatic event can trigger the PTSD which can cause intrusive thoughts and extensive rumination. When something triggers us, we ruminate, and it is virtually impossible to control our thoughts, when ruminating. Some people will say, "oh, just change your thoughts", or "you have control over your thoughts, just get over it, buck up and move on", etc. Only people who have experienced trauma and/or ruminating for whatever reason, understand the depth of it, and, how it literally over-takes your mind. I believe that grief/the grieving process also plays a part in all of it, and I believe that grief can reappear, even years after the actual traumatic event had occurred. And, being on the spectrum adds an additional dimension to it. It apparently will come and go, throughout the course of our lives, but, at least we have the knowledge and awareness that those periods of time where we experience relief from the triggers and intrusive thoughts, will eventually be upon us, once again . I'm rambling, now, but those are my personal thoughts. I empathize with you and hope that you find relief, very soon. : )