I'm Starting To Understand

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I don't have a strict routine, but I do do certain things... Listen to music before bed, have home school group every Thursday, etc, etc.

Except I just found out yesterday that there is no home school group today. Usually, I have a bit of warning before there being no home school group. As in, a week or two before they tell us all (so no one shows up.)

I didn't get this warning this time.

However, I don't think telling my mom that I'm grumpy because there's no home school group will gain me any sympathy or compassion.

I'm finally starting to understand why some aspies find it so upsetting to have their routine changed.

Yeah, that pretty much sucks, doesn't it?

You may find you are a little less grumpy if you re-plan your day without the homeschool group, so that you can piece together your mental image of the future again. It helps to know what is coming up.

I think I'm ok with changing routines unless the change is massive-- ie: forced to travel into another country.

But what I really HATE is that when things aren't in the place where it supposed to be-- when things no longer match with my memory.
Such as a new shop opened when I went there for the old shop (which was there like maybe 3 years ago)
Or like the ATM machine was on this street years ago.

I really really become furious for that, maybe because I was expecting it to be there, or maybe because I don't know where else to go.
(I'm not very physically strong)

^^^
It depends what the change is for me. Some little changes don't bother me at all while some make me really upset and disoriented. Some routines are more important to me than others. I also hate it when things get moved...I have enough trouble with directions and then things just feel wrong...off...

Heh, yep.

Whenever I catch myself getting frustrated because of a change in routine I make note of it & will explain to others in the household that that's why I'm reacting the way I am.

For me, it's little things like moving my things. I'm not super organized, more of an organized chaos sort of thing, but I know where I put my things and expect them to be there when I need to get them again. Since I procrastinate & have a variable sense of time perception, I'm often racing around at the last minute to grab things and fly out the door.. and if someone has moved my shoes, jacket, bag, water bottle, or anything else I might want to grab it really pisses me off because I don't leave myself the time to go looking for wherever they've put them.

In the grand scheme of life these are all very small things and I don't stay frustrated with them very long and am getting better at cooling down quickly if I do get pissed off. With improving executive functions I'm better and better able to plan things and allow time for things, too. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to be a little more organized and put my things away vs. leaving them where I do which results in others putting them away.. but part of the reason I leave them where I do, in the same spots all the time, is because when things are put away in closets/cupboards etc they're out of sight out of mind and I tend to forget where they are & can't find 'em quickly when I need them. I suppose if I made it routine that I always put them away in the same spots that I might not have such difficulty with that.. I really should make a better effort to try that vs. the path of least resistance by leaving them out in the open and then having others annoyed with it.

But anyways, yeah, I can relate.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

The point of routines being a component of autism is, that some people with sever enough autism can not operate in any way whatsoever without their routines. It is their only way of maintaining any sense of order. That's why autistic people have strict routines and stim. They are neurologically incapable of maintaining any kind of a sense of order without these compensators.

The rest of use who are able to know who,what, where, when, why and how without having to adhere to strict routines and self stimulation, are more likely to simply be creatures of habit who fidget.

I'm learning more and more everyday how wide the spectrum truly is.

Not living my life by strict set routines was actually one of the things that initially gave me doubts about being on the spectrum. However, as I though more about it I realised I do have similar issues. As others on this post have described, I can get seriously stressed out if an item I need is not where I expect it to be. Also, if a plan has been made such as my wife and I will leave at 6pm and something minor happens that delays us, I can really overreact - even when there is no real harm in us leaving a few minutes later. I have to admit I have even lost it (to a degree) over something as trivial as my wife placing her dressing gown on my hook - I don't know how she has the paticence for me sometimes.

If I try and be analyitical about it I suppose it feels like a loss of control - almost like if that one thing is wrong, everything needs re-assesing. I no longer have any idea if I can get to work on time or whatever it was I was trying to do at the time. I know it's totally nuts especially to the NT outside observer but I find it difficult to control my stress levels in these situations.

When I was a child my biggest change in routine would be if something changes at school. For example school parties like for halloween or field trips. I preferred having that routine and even if I knew the routine would change ahead of time, the anxiety would be killer to the point I would be sick days before the event happened. In my school days I would say I avoided atleast 30 field trips and have been to two. I also didn't like going to school for halloween parties or xmas parties and things like that.

I don't have scheduled routines that have to be followed everyday. But I do have a a narrow routine of sameness. There's not much variation in what I do from day to day. Same limited amount of websites visited every day. Same walk everyday. Practically the same food eaten everyday. Same shows watched everyday. It doesn't happen at the same time everyday or even in the same sequence. But it is very much same stuff, different day. It's rare that I suddenly decide to try something new.

Yeah. I didn't realize how many routines I had until I lost my phone, which I use to listen to music ever night. It also caused me a lot of anxiety when a constant fixture in my week was skipped. And if I spontaneously decide to sleep over at a friends, I spend a good amount of time thinking about the things that I do at night normally that I can't now.

Yes, that's a good point. It's not that I can't break away from my routine to go on an outing. But I'll be thinking about what I'd normally be doing while I'm on the outing and I can't wait to get back home and back into my routines. Kind of like looking forward to nestling back into a favorite cozy armchair. I guess maybe the routine sameness thing is like a security blanket of sorts.