When people badmouth AS-like characters - discomfort caused?
Does it cause you any discomfort or kind of a chill down the spine effect whenever you hear people speaking negatively about people with AS-like traits? Like, I mean, just those situations where somebody complains about someone who exhibits certain traits which happen to closely correspond to those of Aspergers (but the complainer never mentions Aspergers by name?)
Cases in point, one time I overheard a co-worker at her desk talk on the phone about some guy "yeah, so and so was very bright, he was practically a genius, but he was never destined for management. He just couldn't read people, and he'd kind of space out if you tried to tell him something gently without telling him directly" then there was another time where a former girlfriend talked about a guy called "Creepy Charles" at her university where they guy would always walk fast with his head down, and if you asked how he was doing he would barely acknowledge, but he was VERY smart - although he would bore people with his pedantic subjects and alienate them.
There were others I heard, but those are a couple that come to mind. Sometimes my first inclination is to get paranoid and maybe think they're dropping ME a hint, but I didn't quite see it that way, I think they genuinely had hang-ups about those people and didn't see the same traits in me - especially since I've vastly improved from getting therapy, the right non-judgmental friends, consciously practicing NT behaviours to the point of greater retention as habits, etc. Still, it did cause me a bit of consternation knowing that I'd been there at one point before my diagnosis, so depending on how I felt, sometimes I'd defend the characters i.e. "well, he doesn't seem like such a bad guy, maybe a little odd, but who cares?" or I'd remain neutral with "oh well, there's all kinds in this world".
Yes.
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Our first challenge is to create an entire economic infrastructure, from top to bottom, out of whole cloth.
-CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly"
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Firaxis Games)
I laugh at, and badmouth people of all kinds -including people with aspie triats (for their aspie traits)myself all of the time. And Im an officially dx'd aspie myself.
So its foreign to me to be upset by others ripping on third parties for that.
To be fair- I never heard of aspergers until late in life, and was not officially dx'd until later still. So Im not in the habit of thinking of "aspie traits" as "aspie traits". I think of them as "dumb traits that I had as a child that ive overcome- I dont see why others cant do the same".
Yes.
It’s another form of bigotry.
It’s comparable to every other civil rights issue.
There was a time when people could openly discriminate against certain groups, and
this was politically acceptable. Then people became aware of it and the tide turned.
Objectively, bad eye-contact is no more an excuse for harassing someone at the airport
or failing to hire than skin color, accent...
I guess our time hasn’t come yet.
Yes I have been on babycenter and I see women talking and they were saying how stupid people are when they make "rude" comments and they are not worth insulting back because they would be too stupid to know they are being insulted. Basically they would think we are stupid if they didn't know we have AS.
I was reading another thread on there and they were listing what their dealbreakers be and almost all of them had lists of thigns like can't hold a conversation, and I thought they basically rejected aspies.
I was reading a post on Experience Project and someone was ranting about rude people and basically it was about aspies because she acted like she wanted people to read their minds. Like she may be standing waiting to get through and the person never moves to let them by. She never says "excuse me" and she assumes that person is rude for not moving.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
Then the person posting that is rude themselves. That sounds more like someone who thinks the entire world should revolve around them. There are more than a few people who think that way everyday, and they just eat up everyone else's life.
The sad thing is, it's more socially acceptable to do that then to be an Aspie.
_________________
Our first challenge is to create an entire economic infrastructure, from top to bottom, out of whole cloth.
-CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly"
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Firaxis Games)
and the one he's complaining about is in the wrong. The actual words don't matter.
The issue and whether it makes any sense at all doesn't matter.
It's the tone and the aggression that wins, even before the victim knows there's a conflict.
I've done things like that and it usually works. On the surface. For the moment.
But I suspect that it has long-term consequences that are over my head.
I don't really know what they're thinking.
Are they really opening their minds to a whole new, compassionate way of thinking?
Have I just enlightened this person in a life-altering way?
Or is s/he just saying whatever is necessary to gracefully get out of this conversation?
I like to keep an ear out for these types of comments. I'm not sure why, but I find them interesting. Maybe it's because they reveal something about the speaker, and I can make a mental note of it for future reference.
I often find such comments confusing, too, because I don't really understand why such traits bother or even offend people. But then I suppose that's the nature of the disorder.
Yes this does cause me discomfort but perversely I go looking for it. It's like deliberately poking a painful tooth with your tongue.
The comments I'm referring to are the ridicule of geeks and people with geeky interests (which is me). Sometimes the connection between geekiness and autism is made but this autism is treated with complete disdain, as if it is an embarrassing complaint that these people could get rid of if they tried.
Ridicule of nerds and geeks has been widespread in the media (although I think it is slowing down a bit now). It's a group that it's perfectly acceptable to ridicule, the stereotype being overweight, ugly, smelly, still living at home and a virgin (because the ultimate measure of what you're worth as a person is how much sex you've had). I don't think this stereotyping would be allowed about any other group.
I'd always assumed that a "nerd" was someone who was boring and obsessive about their interest. The media often uses the word to mean anyone who is interested in a subject that's not on the shortlist of acceptable pass times (sport, cars, celebrity etc). I don't think it's good for kids to grow up being bombarded by that attitude.
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