Performance doesn't matter, only social capital

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After countless times in my life where I performed or completed a task beyond what was expected, only to receive 0 recognition while a popular socially co-worker would get fawned over for crap I've come to the point where I realize social capital is all that matters. It is the fuel that workplaces run on, and if you don't have it no one will give a rat's posterior about your ability or performance.

What is so depressing about this is I can function mostly well, at least to the point people who have to deal with me for long periods might say I'm like Spock and chuckle, but I realize I've never been able to understand or gain and use social capital. And I'm never going to be able to perform like I could if I did.

I know what you mean. I'm in the same situation at work. Maybe worse because half my colleagues don't speak to me. Your performance itself is not really a big factor in how well your work is recognized. People try to even see my work negatively because they don't like me.

One of my colleagues is the daughter of the boss of the department. So she gets all the privileges and people try to be liked by her. The fact that she's in our department is already a case of nepotism. It's so obvious but nobody can say anything. She is a really horrible person, but still she's the daughter of the influential person. This kind of thing really shows how a workplace functions.

A difficulty for Aspies is that we don't pick up on non-verbal clues that say we should stop what we are doing.

Doing extra work is a two edge sword--it has the be the right kind of work--and raising the bar can cause resentment among your co-workers.

I'd advise spending more time figuring out what to do and less time working hard on the job.

While fiction, there is an appropriate scene in the movie Adam, in which his boss complains that the sophisticated work he is doing is far too expensive for his company to use--he is working hard on something that is useless!

Yep. Swimming in those waters (office politics) is dangerous, but so is not swimming in those waters.

True dat, to all of the above.
It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you look good doing it.

If only I could call a lifeguard.

I’ve tried, by the way, to get a kind of lifeguard for the job.
I actually got into a program to get a job coach. I wanted someone with credibility to help me to educate a potential boss. My issues include office politics, non-verbal communication and such.
First off, this job coach reassured me that she had attended a program about Asperger’s and therefore know all about it. (Need I mention that she didn’t?)
After wasting an absurd amount of time with the usual crap of trying to teach me to write a resume or tie my shoes… (Gimme a break. I don't need any kind of training at all. I need a specific form of help,) I finally dragged her to the brink of a glimmer of my real issues – office politics – she paused, blinked, and with a wave of her hand said, “oh, I can’t help you with that – so let’s talk about your resume.”
I went through TWO of these jackasses before giving up on the program.

This post is one of the most accurate ones I've read on this site. I agree entirely.

We need to work and make money to live. But in addition to being poor at workforce politics, I think many of us are actually turned off by them once we comprehend what's going on. Not just because they're unpleasant or difficult, but because we see them for what they are and playing the game seems like it goes against every bone in our bodies.

These people behave like that. And you're saying that I should also behave like that?

The most generous way to look at this issue is that there really is'nt a way for an outsider to navigate office politics, it's far too situational.

On a related note, "job coach" understands Aspies because they attended a program? Unless it's Autreat, I doubt it.

Not to “navigate.” I wasn’t even asking for that much. Just a credible person to back me up while I tried to educate the boss. I never even got that point across.

I know what you mean there. Nobody's horrible to me at work, but it's my birthday tomorrow and nobody's got me a card, even after I have announced it's my birthday. Usually people give each other cards at work, or pass around a card for everybody to sign. I didn't even get one of those. It can be quite hurtful sometimes, but that's what you get for being unpopular.

For having a different neurotype.

Did she say why?

But there are a couple basic principles that aspies can learn, and compared to where they are without knowing those, it makes a world of a difference. Such as in being able to keep a job for 3-4 years instead of constantly being fired after a few months or a year.

I was only speaking to the example.

Edited to add: I agree that there are basic principals that can be learned, and as we've discussed in previous threads, there are social issues with even discussing them.

Last edited by AgentPalpatine on 21 Apr 2013, 1:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, Happy Birthday! 23 isn't much differerent though.

Yes I Have noticed the value of workplace politics and getting noticed, my dad has been doing a good job at this and his partner has filled in where he could not and both are getting promoted nicely after less then a year(more like 6 months) of work. I have watched a number of poor employees last for years leaving a wake of good honest, hardworking people to fight for the right to work. As for me? I'm at a loss, people know they can take or ask anything from me and i'll say yes everytime, I can't naturally play the game right so therefore its to risky to play at all.

No. She never really reached full consciousness. She had to brush it away before that happened.
She wanted to teach me how to write a resume. That was something she knows.
Something easy, that would allow her to be the expert. Most people don’t like being
educated at all, and they particularly dislike being educated by the underclass.

Kind of like going to a doctor and complaining about an appendix, and hearing her say,
“I don’t know how to do that, so let’s do your tonsils.”
And being so clueless that she honestly believed it made some kind of sense.

I think NTs don't want to teach us these things because they're a specific sort of taboo. The sort that no one wants to be quoted having said those things. Once a woman told me that she was desperate because her son had been diagnosed with AS. The doctor told her his best chance was for her to open his eyes to the hidden motivations and games of people. She said this sort of thing is so hard to talk about that even though she's desperate, she can't bring herself to do it.