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allegrorules
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23 Apr 2013, 12:18 am

Okay, so I have a question...
I generally hate being touched by people. It feels like a personal space intrusion, makes me incredibly anxious, and can trigger a meltdown in some cases. For example, a few months ago, I was at the dentist office and had a meltdown.

Anyway, there are a few people by whom I don't mind being touched (my parents and my horse bowl/hippology coach). This is what I don't understand. I very much like getting hugs from them, although only when I want them. When I get a hug from them, it calms me down. This is particularly the case with my horse bowl/hippology coach. When I have been at competitions, I ask her for hugs because they really help to calm me down.

Any idea why? To me, it seems odd. Has anyone else been in this situation?



chris5000
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23 Apr 2013, 12:26 am

I really hate being touched



TheBraveSirRobin
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23 Apr 2013, 12:33 am

I know exactly how you feel, whenever someone grabs me or touches me or anything involving physical contact that I don't want, I freak out pretty bad sometimes, I squirm and flail a lot. I don't have anxiety because of it but if I'm not expecting it or I don't want it at all, it's extremely uncomfortable.



Luinil
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23 Apr 2013, 1:17 am

I'm kind of an oddball in this regard. While I generally prefer not to be touched by unfamiliar people, I do not mind being touched by people I trust or choose, such as a dentist or doctor. Heck, I'm even a big fan of massages. I do prefer it be a fellow female who touches me, rather than a strange man, particularly for my doctor and for a massage. I've always been a huge "snugglebug" (as my mom dubbed me as a young child) with people I am most familiar with--namely my immediate family (more my mom and other females) and my past boyfriends when I had them. I've always been more tactile and sensual for whatever reason.



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23 Apr 2013, 1:20 am

I don't even like handshakes, and picked up the habit of bowing or waving at people just to avoid them.

as far as I'm concerned either I want to sleep with you, you're a fuzzy non-human animal, or I don't want to touch you at all.


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Skilpadde
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23 Apr 2013, 1:30 am

I can't stand being touched... by anyone.


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Panddora
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23 Apr 2013, 2:03 am

Hugs are fine as long as I know the person and want a hug. Kisses are revolting unless it is a man I want to kiss. The hideous pretend embraces and air kisses freak me out. It is the equivalent of small talk I think and I don't know how to react so I just squirm inside and try to be polite.



StereoLake
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23 Apr 2013, 3:00 am

This.

Panddora wrote:
The hideous pretend embraces and air kisses freak me out.

I get really anxious when we're going somewhere where I know that I will get the social hug and I hate it. Of all my family, there are just two couples who I don't see so often that haven't spotted the awkwardness I feel. All the others just say "hello" . I always try to stand at a distance when the greetings are happening to fend off any contact. I'm so relieved when it's all over.



BobinPgh
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23 Apr 2013, 3:07 am

I am ok with touching if they have my permission so fine from like my mother or a massage but I cannot stand to be touched by people even like in a hallway (can you guess why high school was hell?) I just say I am like Bill Maher - He stated once on his show that he tried to get out of wrestling in gym class because he did not like to touch other men. I am the same way.



briankelley
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23 Apr 2013, 4:36 am

Look at it this way. What would happen if you touched some stranger in an elevator? Rubbed their shoulder, patted their arm, how would they react?
So, I really don't think it's that big of a deal that we don't like people touching us, just because they know us a little bit better than a stranger in an elevator. There are certain people I love getting hugs from, but they are very few and far between. I hate shaking hands too, and because of my dyspraxia I always muck it up.



Moridin8
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23 Apr 2013, 5:20 am

I loath being touched unless its my wife or kids.

If not my immediate family and even when i'm expecting it or it's needed - I hate it. A hair cut for example makes me anxious, I hate getting my hair cut, I tend to let it grow for as long as possible before it needs to be cut again to look smart - something my job demands unfortunately. :(

Don't even get me started on when a doctor/nurse needs to touch me... *shudders*


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theshawngorton
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23 Apr 2013, 5:33 am

Unless I initiate a hug or any form of physical touching, I'll forever remain at a "hate that s**t", as the kids would say.



LunaOsa
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23 Apr 2013, 5:33 am

I have the same issues.



theshawngorton
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23 Apr 2013, 5:38 am

LunaOsa wrote:
I have the same issues.


You only like being touched if you initiate it?



TenPencePiece
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23 Apr 2013, 5:45 am

It does feel unnatural, but I can live with it.


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Heidi80
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23 Apr 2013, 5:59 am

I only like hugs if they are from people I know well.