What goes through your brain during social interaction/

Post Reply New Topic

i've found this youtube video where a young boy is describing a social interaction as being on stage without knowing your lines. Do you feel the same way?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3SKxzgkuTI

What goes through my brain:

"What am I supposed to do now?"
"Do they like me?"
"Do they hate me?"
"Am I sounding like an idiot?"
"What do I need to do so this person will like me?"
"What long term effect will a warming arctic have on the North Atlantic Oscillation?"
"What am I supposed to do now?"

etc.

Depending on who I am talking to. The most nervewracking interactions are between me and someone I WANT to be friends with.

Things I tend to think about...
"Do I look ridiculous right now, am I putting them off in any sort of way, am I keeping them interested, how do I continue the conversation"

I tend to make up excuses to leave conversations pretty quickly, so I know I've missed out on many chances to properly socialize.

interestinly enough, but these thoughts run though my mind as well, even though i am NT. i also experience moments of awkward silence during connvesartions with people i barely know.

"What was the last thing we did together?"
"What stuff that happened to me recently would be of any sort of interest to other people?"
"Well, that's all I got, time to smile and nod..."

1. How did I get here?
2. Is what being said really interesting to me?
3. How do I get out?

I have very similar thoughts going through my head as those previously mentioned as well as:
1. Am I talking to much?
2. Have I said anything offensive?
3. I have nothing in common with this person.
4. Am I making enough eye contact?

What am I supposed to do?
What do I do with my arms and hands?
Do I creep this person out too?
Oh God, not another conversation.
Do they notice I'm not looking at them?
I want to just go back to my work.
Thinks of something far more enjoyable.
Let's not mess anything up or do anything stupid.
What about me makes people want to talk to me?
Can they tell I'm not normal? Probably. Even Helen Keller could see that.
How can I get out of this?

What do I do next?
What do I say?
How should I answer that question?
When will this end?
Does this look interesting to me?
Why am I here?
Will I make a good or bad impression on this person?
*thinks about random stuff*

The thoughts depend on:

1) If it is someone I am friends with
2) If it is someone I don't know at all
3) If it is someone I work with
4) If it is my own family or my husband's family

a) If I had to go back to school as an adult I doubt I would be able to make any friends.
b) If I was at work at a social function I would just target one person that I felt comfortable with. Otherwise I would just keep quiet.
c) If I am with my sister-in-law or mother-in-law I feel harshly judged by them so I am automatically awkward around them. If I am around my own family I am also very nervous as they have always judged me harshly. If I am around my nice aunts and uncles we are fine as we generally talk about my kids or everyone's various illnesses.

Each group would provoke very different thoughts.

It actually depends with who. If it's with someone I know well/good friends with it actually goes naturally without thinking too much. If it's with someone I don't know well/strangers then it's pretty much what Adamantium and WitchsCat said.

"Somebody help me!"
"Get me out of here!"

Depends, if I manage to get into the social interaction then I think and socialize a lot easier.
1) I follow the conversation
2) Careful not to say anything offensive or inappropriete.
3) Sometimes I struggle to keep up and not go silent.

If I am sidelined. Then its a lot harder.
1) Should I say hi?
2) Should I make a comment?
3) When do I make a comment?
4) Do they even want me there?
If I come with a purpose: 5) How should I articulate what my purpose is, when so and so is busy?

Normally what happens is that I stiffin up and keep seem focused on what I am doing. Get nervous and wonder if I should do something but my mind is put on pause of what should be said.

Its sorta like a light switch, my social mind will flip on and off. But trying to get it to turn on has a mountain of obstacles. And that is never being able to approach anyone approprietely.

"Oh s**t! When is this going to be over?"