When Should One Go "Public" with their Diagnosis?

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I'm trying to figure this out in terms of timing. I have a career that "works" for me but that doesn't mean that going public won't have a mass affect on my industry relationships, etc. With social media and social networking I have a relatively large following... and it's going to cause some waves I believe.

Just wondering if anyone can give me any tips on how to make this work, if I were to go that direction. I'm not sure I want to necessarily keep two identities online, if that makes sense... i have enough challenges of keeping one identity structured and put together!

I would keep things on a need to know basis right now. I've read your other threads about telling kids and parents and I believe you said you recently got diagnosed. Give it some time before you go out and tell people. Give yourself a chance to get used to it because you may feel differently in a few months. I'm not saying you might be ashamed of it or embarrassed by it, but that even though right now you want everybody to know why you do the things you do sometimes and are the way you are sometimes, you need to give it time to sink in with yourself. It's a pretty personal thing that you are talking about going out to tell people. It's part of your private life and medical history unless you need special accommodations where you would have to let the reason be known.

If I were you I would focus right now on noticing and learning how and when it is actually effecting you. Notice when you start to get overwhelmed or when you feel uncomfortable in situations or sensory issues that bother you. Notice the things that you need to be able to recognize so that you will be able to use the knowledge that you have about your diagnosis to help you deal with whatever the situation or issue is. In other words, before you go out there trying to explain it to everyone else and let everyone else know how it effects you, give yourself some time to learn it. Give it at least three months, preferably six before you tell anyone other than people who need to know.

As I said, this is a part of your private medical history and once you go out there and tell people, you can't untell them. That bell can't be unrung. Also, think about the stigma that a diagnosis of an ASD can carry with some people. While it's important for people to know that the entire spectrum exists rather than just the lower functioning end of it, it's also important to realize the impact that would have on you and your family. This could have more of a backlash than you think, if you don't have to tell others for accommodation reasons.

I came home and told my husband and that was it for a long time. I gradually told a few others but not many because mainly, it's none of their business. It has nothing to do with their interactions with me and they don't need to know that any more than they need to know my bank balance, my shoe size, my love life, or read my journal. I cannot stress enough that even though you are excited to know what has been causing things, and you are pumped to work on things now that you know about it, give it three months at least without telling anyone but your spouse. Then talk about it again and see what you think. I'd also advise you to tell every member of your immediate family before you tell the public and ask your family what they think of you telling everyone. It's not something to be ashamed of or to hide, but they may see that you may be overly enthusiastic about getting the word out.

Don't do something you can't undo later. Don't do it without giving it some time and thought and discussion with at least your spouse. Consider the impact it could have on family or career, if any. Consider that maybe in a year or two you will wish you hadn't told anyone because maybe circumstances will have changed. It's not that big of a deal but it's also not something that you need to shout from the rooftops right after finding it out. I do understand the relief that you have something to put your finger on about why you are like you are. I was there myself! I understand that you want to tell people so they can understand your behavior better and maybe be more patient with you if need be. But you have been getting by until now without explaining things, you can get by for three more months.

Give it time and thought please. Don't go overboard.

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@OliveOilMom

Incredible advice. Thanks for your perspective!

If people are interested in what you have to say and listen to you I would just leave it alone and keep it to yourself

No one ever listens to a word I say . Most people tend to dislike me . I partly blame the government with there stance on ," anyone not in work is an enemy of the working " Thing they are doing. I would like nothing more than to work and be part of society So a diagnosis for me would be great . I could tell everyone in the world and it couldn't make things worse

If I was in you'r position though I would keep my gob shut. People tend to make snap decisions on things and it could lead to people changing the way they look at you and there opinion on the things you say . Could be just me though as I have little faith left in people at large.

Which ever route you take I hope you the best

I have a successful career and a family (two young adult "children"), and I was diagnosed in late 2010. So I am bit similar to you.

I have told a few work colleagues - but only those who have known me for many years and who I trust. I haven't told most of my work colleagues, although they probably realise that I am a little bit weird in my reactions (I easily get overstimulated and also upset, and I am probably immature for my middle age, etc).

"Coming out" about your diagnosis isn't something that I would announce to the whole world until you have tried it out on some trusted people and had a chance to find out what you feel comfortable with. After all, it can take time for you yourself to work through all the ideas and feelings arising from a diagnosis - and it can make others see you differently. Now that a couple of years have gone by, it is no longer "exciting news" that I am bursting to tell somebody, it is something that I will talk about of it seems relevant, or ignore if it doesn't.

With friends and acquaintances I have a similar policy: I will tell good friends, but generally not acquaintances. I will often tell people who have professional or social experience of the autism spectrum (e.g. school teachers) or with psychological issues (anxiety, depression), but usually not people who have no real connection with the spectrum.

How well do you know these people? That's one thing I have considered - how well I know them depends on whether I say something and what I say. For example, I have a friend who has AS and has said more than once that he thinks I have it. I had no problem telling him. (ok, he only found out because I needed some advice)

There are some people I would never tell because they've made their opinions on ASD clear. ("it doesn't exist and is an excuse for bad parenting")

@one-A-N:

i love the idea of "trying it out" - thank you for that!

@Wandering_Stranger:

hmm. i haven't met anyone who's strongly stated their opinion... yet...

I did make the mistake of telling someone I had it. To which she replied "you don't have it. You're just lonely". As if she'd know that given that she doesn't know what I get up to in my spare time.

These are all great thoughts, appreciate them! Thank you!

Only if absolutely necessary, I'd say.