College worries

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I have gotten a place in college to do biomedicl science, which i am happy about.

however this means i am going to have to leave home and live at the college which quite honestly terrifies me to the point i can feel myself panicking from just thinking about it, im not even to sure what scares me so much so its difficult to rationalise it, also now i am obsessivly planning everything i can about going to college but really thats just scaring me even more.

Congratulations on your offer!

Would it help if the college let you visit the place where you will be staying, so there is less fear of the unknown? At my last university, all the disabled students were allowed to visit the accommodation in advance and were shown the exact room they would have. I'm sure they'd let you do this if you told them you have Asperger's and this might help you cope with the change involved in moving.

thanks for answering, well actually i am going to visit the college for a tour next week, i think it includes looking at the accomodation but there is no garantee on which room i will get or what it will look like, i dont really like to ask you know. if i had it my way i would move all my stuff there including my bed and make the college room exactly like my room at home and bring my cats, but that is not going to happen , it would help to see which room i would be having so i could imagine my self being there a lot before i go, that tends to help with new things, i can go through the motions in my head before i actually do it, that would make me much happier.

i am not actually diagnosed with aspergers or any other autistic spectrum disorder, i am sort of self diagnosed but i am undecided on whether i have it myself, so asking for anything like you suggested would warrent a reason that i just dont have. i do have quite bad anxiety so maybe telling them that could help me, i dont know, i dont think we even know what room we are getting until july.

In my experience all the rooms in a university halls tend to look pretty much the same. So the one you see will likely be virtually the same as the room you get. Try not to worry too much, everyone is nervous when they first start.

That's good you get to see the place, so at least you will have some familiarity with it. And you will be able to take some things with you. I took all my posters when I first moved away from home so that my room looked like my own.

It's worth noting that an anxiety disorder is a recognised disability and would definitely be something that the college could support you with. Have you been diagnosed or could you go and visit your doctor and see if he could diagnose you so you could get support at college? I know a lot about disability support in the UK, but I'm not sure if you're in the UK. I know that in the UK you would be able to get a mentor who would be able to help you deal with your day-to-day anxiety and help you with goal-setting and managing your studies around your condition. This would certainly be a quicker and easier route to getting some support as being assessed for Asperger's can take years!

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yeah i am in the UK, i only used the word college as i thought the majority of people on here would be more familiar with that term, i have been to various psychologists, i have a phobia anda history of panic attacks as well as general anxiety, im sure the doctor would get me a letter, they have done so before, as for getting diagnosed with having aspergesr my family dont like the idea as they feel its a label.

I have mixed views myself, with the anxiety i feel that maybe i would want an aspergers diagnosis to have a reason for my anxiety more than anything else so i might leave it for now. thanks for your help, i was not actually aware i could get help like you have said for an anxiety disorder, i shall look into it and book a meeting with the university.

Definitely get in contact with your university disability department as they will be able to give you the best advice. They would most likely advise you to apply for Disabled Students Allowance which would fund any support you might need. You can get help with just the anxiety label and nobody will question that or say you need a better reason, if you are worried about that. The disability department can also provide support for you but not disclose your condition to anyone else like your department so only a couple of people would need to know. I know lots of people who have received support for anxiety at university and it's very normal.

thats really very comforting, in my previous places of education my problems were largly ignored even though they were aware, it was really only in primary school that i got help, i suppose you kind of get lost in the woodworks in later education because of the large number of students, no one seemed to really ask if i wanted help at school, i suppose they probably should have done, thankfully my parents helped me a lot.

i will need to have a meeting with the university regardless anyway, i am going to see if i can find a way of sitting exams with some kind of music on by myself, do you have any idea if that would be feasable, i dont handle silence very well, makes me panic really, im not sure why but i hate it.

The 'being ignored' thing is why universities have disability departments. They will likely be more helpful than anyone actually in the department. If you just ask people directly for help then you are relying on them being nice and wanting to help. If, however, the disability department goes to the disability rep in your department with a list of adjustments that you require, then they won't be able to ignore it. It's a legal obligation. My department at university last year was a bit rubbish, but my disability support workers were great and pushed to make sure that all the right things happened.

You'd definitely be able to have a room of your own because I've had this. I was also able to meet the invigilator informally beforehand to alleviate the anxiety of being in a room with a new person. I'm not sure about the music, but you could ask. If you're likely to have considerable anxiety during an exam then you might be entitled to extra time and/or rest breaks.

Another thing worth mentioning about Disabled Students Allowance is that even if you don't want any support right away, you can still have the assessment and have things arranged such that if your condition worsens then you will be able to access the support very quickly.

This is an eminently reasonable request, doesn't disadvantage any other student, but . . . it is an unusual request, so it may take them a while to wrap their mind around it.

I went to the University of Texas (50,000 students!) from 1982 to 1984 and lived in the dorm the first year. Here's what I wished I would have known.

1) There was more bullying than I expected, including physical bullying. It was worse than high school, but not as bad as junior high. Really. And I wish it hadn't been.

2) Yes, walk away from a fight if I reasonably can, all that good zen stuff. And, I wish I would have taken boxing lessons, with the preferred goal of tight, defensive boxing to a draw. And don't take a bunch of blows to the head during training, and boxing headgear does not really protect.

3) It's relatively easy to stand up for someone else. Sometimes something as simple as "He seems like an alright guy to me."

4) I didn't really meet people in classes. I did meet people in the dorm, specifically hanging around and then walking down to the cafeteria.

5) Most groups (hiking, political, etc) don't really meet often enough to get anything going.

6) Being good at billiards or table tennis gives me a little 'street cred' and an avenue to meeting people.

7) I wish I had had both skills of light drinking to a pleasant buzz and abstaining and not drinking at all, my choice.

If you care at all about having a professional job after graduation, then skip university and go to trade school. Social graces matter much more in jobs requiring a degree than they do in jobs requiring only a certificate or two, so be forewarned that you might be shut out from education-appropriate employment if you go the university route.