Please help me understand this behaviour

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Hi,

My 6-yr-old preverbal son has been going through a rough patch recently. He always had visual stimming, but of late, he is not just flicking his fingers in both hands in front of his eyes, but also tightening his entire body and screaming as he does so.

He also squeezes my arms (I am overweight and have very fat arms) so tightly I end up in tears from the pain it causes me.

I've tried to give him lots of body squeezes, a weighted vest, squeeze balls (bean bags filled with different materials such as rice / beans / lentils etc) to no avail. He prefers my large arms and it's getting beyond painful to be attacked by him in this manner. He does not do this with the intent to cause me pain - there isn't a malicious bone in my boy's body - but to fulfil whatever unmet need that this fills. I am also very worried about the stiffening up of his body, in addition to the non-stop need to squeeze my arms.

Please help ! What could be going on and how can I help him ? What other activities will fill whatever need he has (which he cannot verbalize yet) but which will not cause me any physical pain ?

TIA for your advise / help. Much appreciated.

He could be in physical pain himself.

It is very likely that he is in pain indeed.
If your son is verbal, perhaps ask him what is hurting him so much: it could be the sound of an electrical device that buzzes on standby (many do, but this is inaudiable to most NTs, as well as less-young individuals, while it can be physically painful for those that do hear it)

if hes curling into a ball and screaming the pain may be in his abdomen. It could be an allergic reaction to food, Alsers in the stomach, lactose intolerance, it could be an infection or he could have injested something sharp and dangerous. theres a whole list of things that could cause stomach pain.

Well he is doing it out of frustration needless to say. You are doing the right things by supplying him with comfort and coping tools. Lots of times auties in his situation bite and hit themselves and bang their head. I used to do that a lot when little, and still do to a degree. But have seen before where it's the parent that gets squeezed, bitten etc. Behavioral and occupational therapy is what has helped me progress more away from that kind of behavior.