My sleep is great but I have trouble falling asleep. It's been like that as far back as I can remember.
When it was dark and deserted outside the window of my room, I lined toys up and kicked marbles against the wall when I was 2-3 years old because I already didn't feel like falling asleep.
I found that nobody who tries to figure it out understands why.
Why bother me with insistent questions on what I am thinking about before falling asleep? I do think about things but they're not important to this because I am just intentionally passing time while having to lie in bed. So, I think about whatever I want to think about during that time. (Not thinking about anything while also having to lie down is so boring, plain horrible!)
Actually, my "issue" is not really "trouble" falling asleep because I don't feel bothered by not falling asleep. I do feel bothered if I lack sleep because I'm tried. That's the trouble - being tired! I hate that.
Sleep is utterly boring. Absolutely unappealing. I never thought anything like "oh, sleep's great, isn't is awesome to lose consciousness for a period of several hours?". It isn't. I don't gain anything from not being awake. I understand why sleep is good and necessary but that doesn't change the fact that I don't feel attracted to being asleep.
I don't know what it's like to be asleep because when I am asleep I am not conscious. Why should I feel like wanting something I don't get to experience? Makes no sense.
Falling asleep is something I should be doing - that's how I always thought of it as an elementary school kid - but successfully falling asleep means I didn't really do something in the same manner as I would achieve something else when I am awake.
I thought that it was impossible to "do" falling asleep - as in, commiting the action of falling asleep successfully by which success can only be confirmed by observation of the results at the moment that they come to pass which doesn't work, obviously. It puzzled me and oftentimes, I'd lie in bed thinking about how my self could possibly be involved in "falling asleep" if it wasn't something that I perceived my self putting into action.
Other than that, lying in bed isn't particularly relaxing either. My therapist claimed it should be but it isn't.
I still feel my clothes all the time, I still feel my hair all the time, I also feel the fabrics around me (including crinkles), I might hear my own breathing if I accidentally cover my airways and I am also really aware of the temperatures and the different smells and... it's not what I imagine a "relaxing" state should be like.
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Autism + ADHD
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett