Could use some advice please

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I met a girl through mutual friends about a month ago. Since we met we've been going out and doing things together every couple of days and getting to know one another. Through a lot of conversation and activities I've really developed a liking to her. We have an incredible amount in common and seem to want the same things in life. We have amazing chemistry and even complete each others thoughts - or one of us will say what the other was only just thinking and most of the time it's not in relation to what we were doing. It's remarkable.

Last night we spent all day together on a mini road trip and then went to Iron Man. Afterward we said "Let's do what normal people do and go get a few beers on a Friday night" so we drank up met up with some friends and had a great night.

We went on a walk to sober up and chat some more, and I was quote intoxicated so I blurted out that I had a really big thing for her. She shot me down pretty hard and said she wasn't interested.

I promised things wouldn't get weird, but I woke up this morning very hurt and angry. All of the pieces were in place, we make total sense and even some of her friends assumed we had been together for a long time. We just click.

We're going on another trip tomorrow and I was going to surprise her by taking her to the zoo so she could see penguins (she didn't get to see them in New Zealand and it's on her bucket list) but now all of the wind is out of my sails and I really don't have the zest to want to go.

Any tips on how I can normalize and not turn into my normal self which wants to just shut down emotionally to everyone and everything for 6 months and never speak to her again? She makes me happy and I like spending time with her I just don't know how I can now that she rejected me.

She might not mean it. She might just be sensitive and defensive and afraid to ruin what you guys already have together. You might try this: apologize for possibly making her uncomfortable, say that you just value her a lot and don't know how to express it and thought maybe what you were feeling was romantic love but perhaps it isn't. Tell her you just want to do whatever you can to be a great friend to her because it makes you feel good to see her happy. If she feels that means just being non-romantic friends, you need to respect that if you actually care about her. Then if she still shoots you down, then that's a pretty clear sign that you don't have the chemistry you think you do and that she's probably not a real friend to you.

If you get sad and defensive about it, you'll probably act differently with her and then she might feel bad and your friendship will suffer.

Safest strategy: pretend it never happened. If she asks you about it, just giggle or chuckle and say "Oh I was being silly." And try to change the subject as soon as possible.

in the mean time just try to distract yourself. maybe you need some exercise.

you may need to take some time away from her to regain your composure. she should understand.

As people on this forum often say, no means no. If you feel too distressed about her, then you should stay away from her at least for a while and find other people to hang out with or find other things you enjoy doing. It's not healthy to spend time with her and feel sad. If you feel really ok about it, then you could stay friends with her if you and she still want to.

Thank you so much everyone. These bits of advice are gold. I appreciate it.

It's also possible she is just not ready is afraid and may not even be able to acknowledge to herself that this might be something. She might need for you to let things go on as they have been to give her time to process it, and if you make a big thing out of it, you might scare her off.

But I also will state a negative possibility... she might just like hanging with you, maybe enjoying your activities together, and really not be interested in anything more. Maybe she is waiting for someone else to come along.

I am like you in that I tend to feel rejection very deeply, so I worried about stating that second possibility because I did not want to give you reason to treat her differently thereby pushing her away and ruining things if in fact the first possibility was true. But I also thought if it were true, then you might prepare for that and be less hurt.
Tread carefully, take your time, don't jump to conclusions and don't do anything permanent until you are sure.

Ain't love grand?

Keep in touch with her while you regain your composure. It probably wouldn't be fair to either of you if you just avoid her because of some rejection you felt. Maybe the next time you hang out, have your mutual friends involved. But speak with eachother alone and in a public place for at least 15-30 minutes beforehand to get a guage of you feel around her first.

Thank you both. Eye opening advice honestly. I feel a lot better now having read everything and thought about it.