Do you find it hard to be patient with people being ignorant

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on this board?

I see questions, honestly asked, but still... stuff like "Can an Aspie ever have sex?" "Can an Aspie ever hold a job longer than 6 months?" "Can an Aspie ever drive a car?" "Can an Aspie ever graduate from university?" "Can an Aspie ever talk normally?" and I'm like "Geez, I don't know, why don't you try it!" I feel like they should already know that anyone can do anything, but I know intellectually that it's not their fault they're ignorant, but I still say to myself, "What ignoramuses!" How can I be more patient?

I think it might help to put those kind of simplistic queries in perspective: maybe the people who ask them have been diagnosed at a very young age, grew through their formative years with families/teachers who had low expectations of them who consistently gave them "you can't" or "you'll never be able to....." messages over and over and over. And these messages get internalised over time, so that they believe them. Perhaps after being here a while and reading posts from older members who have done all of these things, they start to doubt the messages they have always been given, and are beginning a transition to thinking these things might be possible for them too.

I was so fortunate not to have been diagnosed as a child. I grew up with very different messages "we expect a lot of you" (from school) although not so much as home; but no-one told me that I couldn't do normal adult things because I was "disabled". I have done all of the things you mentioned, though "talking normally" was by far the hardest and most exhausting. And it still is.

Sometimes.

I sometimes could care less about people not knowing the odds, and treat said odds like it's only 0% or 100% -- a Yes or a No without a 'Maybe' or 'Less/More Likely' -- that is only a 'can' or 'can't' without saying it's a 'gamble' or 'possible'.

Especially, if it's about being human. Humans are damn unpredictable, and so was being one.


As for the other way around -- work hard enough? Be consistent? Etc.? I approve AND disapprove this for several and separated reasons. Again, there's no true answer.
This is like 'timing': which to work hard for to attain things and which isn't. 'More definite' factors of which, when, how, what, and why. The factors are so unique with endless possibilities and inconsistent several parts could change, it's outcomes are damn chaotic, therefore there's no definite answers only possibilities.

Then being humans in general, tend to try and see the easiest and the clearest path -- therefore, trying for the most definite answers even if they are so ignorant about the odds.



Does this make any sense???

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I stood out in my childhood by being less interested in candy than most kids.

So its annoying to me to read things like "I have a sweet tooth. Is that an aspie trait"?

But the person who wrote that would probably be pissed off if I had written "is childhood lack of enthusiasm about candy an aspie trait?".

Probably aspergers is irrelevant to either enthusiasm or the lack thereof about candy in childhood. So linking either to aspergers would be an example of "annoying ignorance".

The way to counteract ignorance is to teach.

I hate ignorance in myself or others. Such questions are really very insulting. As for me, I have done all of these things. Some average, everyday adult milestones were achieved very late. I thought that was unforgivable for someone who was able to get a Master's in English. I look at myself sometimes and think if I weren't so ignorant, I would have been farther along today.