Lack of motivation to socialize

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3 weeks ago I went to a Toastmasters meeting; I haven't been since. It worked out just fine and everything; there was no anxiety, I was able to speak just fine, etc. It's just I haven't been too motivated to go to another one, even one that isn't early in the morning, like this past Monday. Now I feel a twinge of guilt for not going, but it's like I can't get off my butt and just go, either. Has anyone else had this?

It's common for me to just lack motivation, even if there is no anxiety. My dad has mentioned a lack of motivation as one of my biggest problems.

In my experience, a consistent lack of motivation is often because we have not really internalized why we may be doing a certain thing, and what we get out of it. If rewards for our behavior, both intrinsic and extrinsic, are inadequate, inconsistent, or even nonexistent, motivation is going to disappear rapidly.

If you are like me, lack of motivation is a constant problem, and a less than thorough understanding of our motivations may be a factor. Perhaps you don't actually derive much pleasure from going to these meetings, or maybe the amount you do get simply isn't worth the effort. Socializing can take quite a bit of effort, and it's easy to quit if you aren't gaining anything from it. This is even more true if you are someone like me who very rarely feels bad being alone. If you don't get much out of social interactions, and being alone a lot doesn't bother you, it's not surprising to see motivation just slip away.

I'll admit this. Doing public speaking is kinda fun and I kinda wanna do it again. Is it enough to get me off my bum and go do it, though?

I think lacking motivation for aspies generally stem from Theory of Mind and Weak Central Coherence issues.

People gain a lot of their motivation through interaction with other people. If you don't have a strong connection to others you miss out on probably the most powerful motivational source.

I try to fight this issue.

I tell myself it's because people are boring.

I feel I lack the motivation to socialise, and then become avoidant of it. It's not that I'm exactly bad at socialising though, I am like an NT when having conversations one-to-one, especially if it's just small talk or lightly getting to know each other, and I'm also good with eye contact and staying on track of the conversation and reading non-verbal cues and having theory of mind and relating to humour all of that sort of thing. I am surprisingly good with all that. There are only a few social things that I struggle with, like first impressions, speaking up when in a group, and being confident in myself. Those things hold me back.

It's not that I want to be on my own. But I don't always like going out of my comfort zone just to socialise. Like on Friday nights my brother usually goes out and sometimes him and his friends ask if I want to come out. I have been out with them a few times, but lately I haven't been going out with them for months. It's not always the socialising, it's the motivation of doing it. When going to a pub I feel I have to dress up and straighten my hair and all of that sort of thing, because most women do when going out in the evening. I can't be bothered to do that. Then I look at my TV and my laptop and go, ''nah, I'll hang out at home tonight.''

Not a problem and no need to feel guilt due to such.