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hurtloam
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21 May 2013, 4:23 am

What are your coping strategies?

Mine isn't a very good one and I don't recommend it. I generally just avoid other human beings. Most of the time I forget that I'm different until I have to factor other people into my life for some social thing I ended up going to, thinking I would enjoy it, forgetting that I don't normally go out because I don't actually like to.



richardbenson
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21 May 2013, 11:41 am

Losing all concepts. trusting in your natural responces, once you rid yourself of right or wrong life happens. enjoy it
This is how I cope now


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21 May 2013, 12:49 pm

In my experience coping strategies can varying depending on the situation. Are there any particular situations you want advice about?



SteelBlu
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21 May 2013, 1:43 pm

Sometimes forcing "self care" helps me cope. Long showers, taking care of my hair, taking vitamins, whatever feels good and healthy; basically doing more than just "a shower every couple of days, and brush my teeth in the morning". I feel healthier when I do, and starting at a baseline of, "Well, at least my body is healthy" means that there is at least a little less to overwhelm my mind.


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girly_aspie
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21 May 2013, 1:56 pm

It's really hard sometimes to make myself do things that are really basic for self care like making meals, showering every day, brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc. I really have to force myself to do all that.

I used to cope by having personas in public and at work to get by. It was exhausting and the truth is, I still came across as odd, just a very different sort of odd. I'm trying to be more honest now in the way I present myself and I find I'm a lot less angry at things than I used to be, I think just because I don't have to expend energy forcing myself to "Act normal" all the time. Even when I was "Acting Normal" it didn't work, and I think most people could see that I was faking something anyway, which is embarrassing. I felt like a giant fraud all the time, especially when I would make myself go out and find a boyfriend/girlfriend because I thought having a relationship was something I /should/ do.

Now I don't force myself into that anymore. If I'm tired, I stay home and rest. I don't date because I just don't feel like I want to. I listen to myself more now, and only push when I have to.

I now cope by making sure I do a work out 5 days a week, it is really hard to do it every single day, but it helps my co-ordination, my self-respect, and helps me get more sound sleep, which in turn helps everything. It also makes me more motivated to eat instead of space out and ignore meals, and I need to shower after I work out, so I don't miss that at least 5 days a week. I'm also much less aggressive and hostile because I have a physical outlet.

Like I said, it's not easy. I wake up every morning dreading the work out that I make myself do, but when I'm done, I always feel a lot better, so I just try to remember that.


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Sweetleaf
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21 May 2013, 1:57 pm

It really depends on the situation.


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Fnord
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21 May 2013, 2:22 pm

Adaptation has always worked best for me.



MjrMajorMajor
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21 May 2013, 2:37 pm

I have a myriad of them. The trouble is remembering to do them sometimes. :?



chlov
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21 May 2013, 4:18 pm

Depends on what type of coping strategies you're talking about.

Sensory issues:
when I'm on a bus and people are making much noise, or when I'm in a noisy room, I just listen to music with my earphones. This way, I am isolated from the outside noises, and don't risk to have a meltdown.
Of couse, I can only cope with sensory issues related to sound.

Panic attacks (not related to AS, I know):
I occasionally have panic attacks.
I use a method a shrink taught me a while ago: breathe in and breathe out, breathe in and breathe out, and so on. It doesn't stop the panic attack, but it helps me to calm down a bit.
I use this method when I'm not at home and I have a panic attack, because when I'm at home I just take a med for anxiety.

Lack of social skills:
I can't really cope with this. I only use my instinct when I'm in a social situation.
This may cause some troubles to me, but I'm still alive and I managed to have friends, so I guess that after all it's not that bad.

These are my so-called coping strategies.



SteelBlu
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21 May 2013, 4:22 pm

girly_aspie wrote:
It's really hard sometimes to make myself do things that are really basic for self care like making meals, showering every day, brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc. I really have to force myself to do all that.

I used to cope by having personas in public and at work to get by. It was exhausting and the truth is, I still came across as odd, just a very different sort of odd. I'm trying to be more honest now in the way I present myself and I find I'm a lot less angry at things than I used to be, I think just because I don't have to expend energy forcing myself to "Act normal" all the time. Even when I was "Acting Normal" it didn't work, and I think most people could see that I was faking something anyway, which is embarrassing. I felt like a giant fraud all the time, especially when I would make myself go out and find a boyfriend/girlfriend because I thought having a relationship was something I /should/ do.



I have to force myself, too. It definitely is hard.

I have just realized that the "persona" I have for outside still comes off as off. I had thought that I was doing so well, but my husband just confided in me a few days ago that he has a name for how I act when I am out and about -- "Ms Hollywood Movie Star". Apparently I very much overdo it, smile WAY too largely, enunciate strangely. I had no idea. It's kind of embarrassing, and I'm not really sure what to do about that. I feel like I have to do it at least somewhat, to cope when I am at work, handling customers and trying to be friendly, but I know that I'm still acting somewhat off-putting, and I hate it.


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qawer
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21 May 2013, 4:53 pm

Autism involves the three core deficits (and sometimes also extraordinary skills):


(1) Theory of mind deficit (an inability to recognize that other people have thoughts, feelings and intentions
that are different to one's own, and an inability to intuitively guess what these might be)

(2) Weak central coherence (an inability to bring together various details from perception to make a
meaningful whole)

(3) Executive dysfunction (impairment or deficits in the higher-order processes that enable us to plan,
sequence, initiate, and sustain our behavior towards some goal, incorporating feedback and making
adjustments along the way.)



I have found that (1) Theory of mind deficit is "due to" not being enough aware that you yourself and others are surviving (in the largest sense of the word). Consciously being aware that your mind and others minds are aimed at survival will in my experience give you are much much better "artificial" theory of mind (because your "guess" about others minds becomes almost correct).

(2) Weak central coherence is a matter of autistics perceiving details instead of wholes. In my experience this is "corrected" by getting a theory of mind, because "the big picture" can almost always be understood in terms of survival.

(3) Executive dysfunction is much about being unable to "keep up" a theory of mind. If you keep having a theory of mind, this should correct itself.


So in my experience the problem is basically the lacking Theory of Mind which brings about Weak central coherence and Executive dysfunction.

The main problem is that keeping up an "artificial" theory of mind is conscious work. It wears you out to do this conscious work continually. Then you lose your Theory of Mind and as a result gets back the Weak central coherence and Executive dysfunction.

My claim is that non-autistic people would also start experiencing Weak central coherence and Executive dysfunction if they lost their innate Theory of Mind, but they don't since it's inherent.

On the other hand autistics can have an advantage in those areas where having a Theory of Mind is a drawback. Non-autistic people cannot "drop" their theory of mind - it will constantly "disturb" them when they are to really focus on something that is not really related to survival.

This is purely a personal theory.



nessa238
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21 May 2013, 5:22 pm

1. Generally avoiding people
2. Talking to friends
3. Supporting other people
4. Trying not to ruminate about negative things
5. Eating chocolate and other fattening food to cheer myself up
6. Sex sometimes
7. Reading
8. Focusing on world events outside of myself
9. Sleeping
10. Trying to avoid looking in the mirror too much
11. Putting things in perspective eg "I'll be dead in so many years anyway so what does it really matter?"


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Last edited by nessa238 on 21 May 2013, 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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21 May 2013, 5:29 pm

Listening to metal is one way.


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rapidroy
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22 May 2013, 12:16 am

Actively identifying and avoiding anything that can possibly overwhelm, overload, create anxiety etc. Escapeing into my own little world to daydream, listen to music, focus thoughts. Carry ear plugs around, wear sunglasses at all times outside. These arn't all great ideas though, there has to be better.



Dillogic
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22 May 2013, 12:32 am

Avoid if possible, otherwise keep it as quick, simple and planned by rule; structured and done the same way each and every time.

That encompasses sensory symptoms and repetitive behaviors (though I find that the term "repetitive behaviors" is a poor area to place a need for routine and predictability, but that's where they put it).

Social stuff is best avoided, as it's hard to keep that predictable (the other person sees to that).

That's pretty much all of the autism stuff.



Who_Am_I
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22 May 2013, 12:38 am

Quote:
(3) Executive dysfunction is much about being unable to "keep up" a theory of mind.


What?


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-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I