Benefit of a late diagnosis.

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After being on these forums for only a short time now, it's recently dawned on me one of the greatest benefits of not figuring out my own ASD until 5 months or so ago at age 30. At first I thought it would have been infinitely better to have known as a young child, so that my entire life may have been better to date... it would have been different, but better? I'm not so sure now.

Before I continue, read this:



And that's exactly why I think there's a great benefit to having not known until recently. After reading some of the threads & responses on here, I can't help but think that many of you have been roped into thinking & acting & living & being the way you do by others constantly telling you all of the things you can't or shouldn't be able to do all of your lives. Because I never had that influence as a child/young adult, I believe I've tried and done a whole heck of a lot of things in my life that many of you here may not ever even attempt because you've been preconditioned to believe that you cannot do those things with any level of success and thus shouldn't bother trying as you're bound to fail or disappoint yourself or others etcetera and so forth.

Stop doing that! Test the rope - it might just break & set you free to go and do whatever your heart desires.

Breaking old beliefs & paradigms and forming new and better ones are some of the hardest things to do, I know as I still struggle with it daily, BUT I've managed to change quite a bit for the better over time and continue to do so, leaving behind old beliefs that did not serve me & creating new more positive ones that do. It certainly takes time and focused effort, and it doesn't hurt any that I've had the influence of some wonderful friends over the years, but it's so SO worth it.

well I did try and the rope snapped back and hurt me and still hurts and still talk to the therapist about it.

So try again.

The ol' get right back on the horse & keep riding type of thing.

Every single person who learns to do anything, ever, has some sort of learning curve to over come. There are a lot of things I've gotten fairly good at now that I wasn't very good at at all the first time I tried them... but I didn't give up on 'em just because it was hard the first time, or I wasn't good at it instantly, or I sucked horribly at it, or I got hurt.. etc. Thanks to ASD there are some things I've gotten good at despite not being naturally talented at them because they're a bit of a special interest and I'm able to just keep on persevering until I get better at them. Utilize your own ASD advantages to get better at anything you really want to.

I have a late diagnosis.

The benefits were that i became more independent and self-reliant in dealing with the symptoms.

I ended up not easily deferring my health to the standard medical system, without doing research first.

It was much harder and more painful, being a lone wolf, relying on trial and error, and self experimentation.

But i think i ended up stronger because of several years of agonizing, not knowing what was really my problem.

Definitely you should take advantage of outside resources, forums, medical services, professionals, to help you out.

If you truly think you need it.

My asperger and dyselxia diagnosis where completely missed when in school age. It was only until I was having no luck with employment then I figured something was wrong. It something was picked up within my degree work from a Councillor, then something needed to be really needed for me to be aware of. Its also made me think about independent living skills as well as I've never picked up on those.

The most important lesson is that you don't have it that badly aspergers isn't .

Also this whole American you can do what you want that's hoe they keep majority of the country poor.

I tried for many years and ended up more damaged. There was only time for 2 things in 6 years I worked. Sleep and work. If you aren't damaged you will become it for just ignoring that there is something wrong.

Would have helped a lot if they knew what I had.

Or maybe its because I have autism as well which is brain damage.

Remember Steve jobs he died because he wouldn accept what was wrong with him.

This. I agree with goldfish21's sentiment, but I think people may read it as "you can be normal if you try harder". The point is to continue to challenge your ideas, and the mindsets that can lead to tunnel vision over time. It is very hard to do when something has been externally reinforced for so long, and very easy to slide back into old patterns. Even a small nudge consistently in a new direction can reset your perspective over time, and encourages growth.
Sometimes I look back and wish there was support there. I'm probably better off having heard "why can't you?" vs "you can't" as painful as it was. The drawback is an underlying need now to throw myself at every limitation, instead of thoughtfully finding a middle ground that works. It is necessary to test those limitations either way though.

Meh I'm not a fan of emotional arguments. For many discovering that you have a neurology different from others is crucially important. For me it forced me to be more realistic to put my efforts towards more functional goals.

That being said I think it's a bad idea to be dwelling on what ifs as people tend to get wrapped up in idealized fantasies.

All in all I think it's important to remember how you handle Diagnosis is far more important than getting it.

Granted, the OP' s tone is a bit evangelical but still valid. I also agree on being pragmatic on your goals. It's just refreshing to see after so many posts of..can we drive, can we work, can we manage any relationship whatsoever?!?. We can be ASD, and still find ways to develop resilience, instead of falling back on learned helplessness. This is different from true inability, but testing is the only way to know.

MjrMajorMajor gets it.

I'm not saying we can will away AS or magically make things perfect, merely that it seems a lot of the people on the forum are very hung up on what they think they can't do vs. trying things to see if they can do them.

Since I didn't grow up with an AS diagnosis, I never had people telling me I inherently couldn't do various things, and so if I wanted to do them - I just did. Sometimes with success, other times not, and sometimes they've been pretty damned difficult to do.. but I've done them, had a lot of fun, learned a lot of things etc vs. accepted others telling my I shouldn't or couldn't do something and this never even bothering to try.

I'm self diagnosed later in life, and I hav mixed feelings about this. Would things be better if I knew decades ago? I think my parents, teachers, and everyone else around me would hav been understanding about my difficulties instead of mistreating me. I was picked on constantly, and I would think teachers would hav actually stuck up for me if they knew I was just as helpless to change my problems as the girl with the visible muscular disorder. I think I would hav accomplished just as much if not more if I had known what was wrong with me. Many people told me I wasn't going to amount to anything based on my supposed lack of motivation. I wish I had known. I really do.

I think of being diagnosed late as a benefit. School probably sucked more because of it, but then again, I didn't have to be enrolled in "special education" classes.

I do relate, but there's a difference between having that support, vs over compensation for difficulties. I have a son who is also ASD, who is struggling more now because expectations were so low for him when he was younger that he has trouble coping with them now. I want to instill in him that it's okay to have difficulties, but not okay to throw his hands up in defeat at every bump in the road.

I hadn't really thought about this. I have missed out understanding myself but I think growing up with a label would have been a negative experience. Until society learns to accept and undertand everyone I think I am glad I have only just found out.

I don't think this is at all true for me. In fact, I think not getting any help when I was younger has made me lower-functioning than I could have been.

However, I do think I was better off with a late diagnosis, since the kind of treatments younger kids on the spectrum get would probably have made me worse instead of better. I shudder to think of how ABA would have affected me, given how I go into panic mode when given too many commands.

I too was diagnosed in adult age, early 30's. I've never had a job, so I can't say that I have tried and done a lot of things, and been out there.

However, I also am very grateful that I had no dx growing up. I always felt different and like I belonged to another people, but I have never ever felt wrong or disabled. I am so glad I've never gone through people telling me what they thought was wrong with me (well actually they did, but without a shrink to back to them up, I blew them off). I'm so glad I haven't gone through hearing that from I was little, that I haven't grown up hearing what I can do and not, glad I never had a personal assistant. From what I hear that sounds like hell, and I'm glad I escaped that humiliation! It would have felt so embarrassing.

When I started looking into AS after learning about it accidentally, I saw a book in a book store called (translated) "I am something very special!" It was about asperger and targeted at young children. I didn't take a closer look, I just cringed. The title made me think of down's, not someone of normal intelligence. I went on to read a book by Christopher Gillberg and although somewhat useful, I found it very patronising and it made me feel like I should really just be sitting in a corner drooling and banging my head in the wall.

At first I felt relieved when I got my diagnosis. Pieces fell into place and I saw everything in new light and I rediscovered my entire life. But after a year or two, things changed. I started to doubt everything about myself. "I can't do that, I'm aspie."

When I was 26 I went to NYC by myself (I had been there before with family, so it wasn't new to me; I would have been very anxious about it if it had been my first visit to the US). At the time I'd never even heard of AS, and knew next to nothing about autism at the time, and I saw no reason why I shouldn’t be able to make it. Now, I hardly see myself as able to go to the grocery store. I doubt my ability to do anything now, no matter how well I knew how to before my dx. I have heard other people being treated poorly after disclosing their dx - it also happened to me once but for the most part I have received support and understanding – but it seems I am doing an excellent job of treating myself worse without the judgement of others..

Now I’m unable to act natural with anyone but my parents. Now I always feel like what I’ve always been but never felt like; an autistic person trying to communicate.
An example: Some years ago a couple with a dog lived in our stairwell. I never liked or disliked them, I wasn’t uncomfortable with them, I was fine with greeting them when I met them and occasionally we’d exchange a couple of words about our dogs (this was while we had our collie Viggo). In 2007 they moved. Last year they moved back. One day I was coming up the stairs, I saw the man standing outside their apartment. This was the first (and so far only) time I’ve seen them since they got back here. He grinned at me and I felt immediately awkward (not because he grinned but because I knew he was my former neighbour and I was supposed to not only greet him but... I don’t know how to even put it in words... but knowing him (sort of) from before made it even harder for me. It was like it triggered a fight or flight response.) I looked down but when I got up the stairs there was no avoiding it, so I looked at him quickly and mumbled “hi” and hurried on, and didn’t breathe well again until I was one floor up. Just for the record, I don’t have a crush on him, I don’t admire him and I don’t wanna get to know him better (they are all factors that could make me react like that). It was only the fact that I had to react and I felt autistic and I got anxious and couldn’t act the way I would’ve six years ago. I felt like an autistic person trying to talk to him and I just couldn’t get away quickly enough. I get extremely self-aware and self-conscious and can’t think straight or calm down. It’s not a panic attack but it feels almost like the start of one. I get even stiffer than normal and I’m not natural at all.
This neighbour is a good example because I knew him before I knew I was AS (or even knew much about it at all), and I was never uncomfortable around him before. It’s the same with everyone else I‘m around too. I have always known that it feels terrible with eye contact and that I don’t like looking at people at all, but I wasn’t consciously aware of it when I talked to them. Now I am, and that doesn’t help one bit. It just winds me up even more.

The problem isn’t the lack of eye contact, it isn’t even the way I have nothing to say. The problem is that I think of it differently. When my doc referred me on to a psychiatrist, I was anxious about my loved ones reacting negatively to it. He said that I was still the same person I was before. I never would have guessed that I would become the problem!

Had I gotten the diagnosis as a child and grown up that way, I wouldn't even have known what the freedom of not knowing was like.