Do monotonously spoken legalese freak you out?!

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Alright, so this is probably due to the couple of instances where I've had police encounters, but I can try to explain it: when they go into that monologue which resembles a slide of robotic ice. Robotic obviously, because that's exactly how it sounds... ice because the very sentences appear to have absolutely no vitality in them, completely barren of any possible feeling... and it's like a slide because once it starts to be spoken it's not halted until the monologue descends into an extinguished hell.

...but that's just me attempting, with the utmost effort, to put poetry to description where there is none originally. These spoken legalese are a shard, a crevasse of emptiness.

At any rate, I hope you know what I'm referring to now. I've just got reminded of my feelings towards them today due to phoning a government agency to change address: besides going through a hell of an application ('hell' in the literal sense) at the end there is, yet again, this insane barrage of words as if spoken by a demon incarnate. This sense of quickening, of doom in the world: I had to put the phone away from my ears, as I already have enough subjective feelings of death myself - I can't possibly handle any more of these kinds of words from the very pit of darkness.

A psychotic manifestation; a dread unaccounted, is what is symbolic of such a voice.

I can't bear the way politicians speak. It would be difficult for me to criticise monotonous voices because I am prone to slipping rather easily into monotone myself (it's an Aspie trait as I'm sure you know).

Politicians tend to (deliberately I'm sure) try to confuse, they use endless sentences, interspersed with long and sometimes not well-used words, to deflect from the meaning of what they are actually saying. And what they are usually saying is nothing, they make it so long-winded that you have lost the point of what it was and they seem to always answer a question with something unrelated to the question, when you couple that with the fact that they are all liars, and have smarmy expressions, they are unbearable in the extreme. You can almost feel the shallowness coming off them in waves, it's all propaganda, twisting facts and used car salesmen. (Shudder).

I actually quite like legalese to a degree. Not that I would be unable to be confused by it. Long legal documents send me running for the hills. But I used to enjoy sending colleagues emails with long legal words in (they must have thought me a weirdo) and one asked me if I had been a legal secretary. I hadn't, I just enjoy interspersing things with long words for the silliness of it. When it boils down to it, I may know long words, and I enjoy using them but overall on a day-to-day basis the "plain English campaign" is the best thing all round. Interacting socially is confusing enough without having to work out the meaning of each individual word in a sentence and then analyse the context and work out the overall sentence whilst still listening to the next sentence. So easy to lose meaning.