In what ways do we not fit the typical HFA/aspie profile?

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This thread is to talk about the ways we are or are not "typical" aspies.

In many ways I'm not the typical aspie. For one, I'm female, which may explain some or most of it, as typical aspies tend to be male.

(Stereo)Typical aspie features I have:
*Stimming and lots of it; over-obsessive daydreaming

*Delayed social skills by roughly 3 years

*Doesn't get lonely easily

*According to family members I'm very sensitive to smells and tastes that they can't pick up

*Synesthesia and ideasthesia

*Aversion to certain food/drink textures, predominantly in childhood (much less so now). Because of my synesthesia, aversion to certain word sounds and shapes. Once again this was much more pronounced in childhood.

*Having false or very exaggerated beliefs regarding how the social world actually works, especially during high school years where I was struggling to figure it out

*Delayed emotional maturation

*Not very sexual, possibly asexual

*God-awful motor skills; terrible at anything involving coordination (very aspie-like mannerisms I would suspect but I think I have them more under control as I've gotten older)

*Obsessed with animals in childhood; certain computer games in pre- and early teens; not interested in topics and hobbies which most other kids were into.


Ways in which I'm different from, or opposite to "typical" Aspies:

*God-awful at math and anything to do with numbers. In fact I'm probably even worse at math than many NTs who are bad at math.

*Not a technical thinker at all--very confused by topics like chemistry and physics, how technology works, etc. and no interest in any of those topics

*While it has been proposed that aspies are like extremely left-brained people; I'm more like an extreme right-brainer and due to such I've questioned if I was actually misdiagnosed (but thinking about it I do have most of the other characteristics of aspies so it's probably just an individual difference or maybe to do with my gender)

*I'm quite girly and enjoy shopping, perfumes, and the like. I'd say the books, music, movies and TV I prefer are ones which would be considered either gender-neutral (e.g. Seinfeld) or feminine (e.g. "Hairspray"). Bottom line I'm not at all a nerd/geek and I never cared for action or sci-fi.

*I'm not really obsessed with anything (not since very early adolescence) but I do have obsessive crushes pretty much constantly. All my interests are relatively mild and peripheral, more like dabbling. The things that have always interested me the MOST (since puberty) is the social world and everything to do with it in general (both on a small scale as in everyday interaction or on a large scale as in global issues and types of societies). Hence I majored in social science and am very interested in it (although not enough for it to be considered an AS "special interest"). Also in abstract philosophical ideas which are not grounded in mathematics and do not attempt to find an objective truth.

*That said, I'm not interested in HOW things work in a technical sense. I'm much more interested in the WHY and values behind things, and the ways in which values are perpetuated. I'm very value-oriented and I may have a greater than normal "theory of mind" due to this. I'm pretty much the opposite of an objectivist or a moral nihilist.


How about you all? In what ways are you similar to and different from ideas of the typical Aspie?

This is an interesting idea for a thread
I'm very autistic, but I'm also a lot of other things, which makes me less stereotypically "Asperger's" - because I am.
Being "girly" is not stereotypically asperger's, but that is only because most diagnosed aspies are men.
I adore perfume because smell is very important to me, and I adore clothes because I like the art of it. I don't know if I like all these things in a stereotypically NT fashion where it seems to be more about how others perceive you than your own sensory experiences, though I don't know if that stereotype is accurate or just a result of patriarchy denying that women can do things for themselves.
You can like how other systems work than just technological ones - you like how society works and are you calling John Waters feminine?

i'm more effusive than the typical aspie male. i'm less talented with games and maths, than the typical aspie male.

I like threads like this - there was atleast one similar one in the past. OP, I'm a lot like you from the sound of it.

Ways I am like a stereotypical Aspie :

- clumsy, gauche gestures and body language - as in people have told me I have weird gestures and facial expressions and some problems with reading others non-verbal cues -although sometimes I pick up on them-but I have gotten in trouble for missing them.

- not much of a social life and not much desire for one -no romantic relationship for about 5 years (though I have had one in the past) and not much desire for one) and few friends (one I see about once a month and 1 more I'm not sure is actually still my friend and haven;t heard from for months) and not a strong desire to make new ones -introverted and takes a lot of isolation for me to be lonely.

- social problems at work and volunteering and at school when I had to work with others and with romantic relationships (one month marriage ) -a lot of social misunderstandings and inability to get along with people properly

-argumentative, stubborn and rigid

-need for sameness and extreme upset when certain things are changed

-sensory issues with sound and smell (pretty severe)

-g-d awful motor skills (I like the way you put that , OP) and akward gait when walking

-stimming -twirling dangling things in front of my eyes and hand flapping/wringing when upset, bouncing clumsily when excited and stimming constantly as a child - also needing to touch everything-sensory thing?

-spend inordinate amount of time reading/daydreaming

-parents have aspie traits and dad might have undiagnosed ASD

*EDITED TO ADD -REMEMBERED THESE BASED ON THINGS OTHERS LISTED:

-I love cats and animals in general and have played with animals and ignore ppl at social gatherings before.

-I have good rote memory -good memory for facts

-Hate crowds- huge problems with crowds

Ways I'm different from the stereotypical aspie:

- good reading comprehension

-emotion/inflection in my voice - no monotone voice

-had dramatic play as a child

-not good at math

-not good with technology/mechanical things

-my interests don't always involve collecting facts about a subject= sometimes just reading a novel series and daydreaming about being a character in it.

- I'm not a visual thinker at all- I'm a very verbal/auditory learner and thinker.

-not a genius

-don't have any interest in buses/trains

-was NOT a tom-boy as a kid -did NOT have more male than female friends -just 1 female friend or no friend.

- I'm a girl but not an expert mimic and not a good little quiet girl who did well in elementary school and was overlooked but rather was loud and obviously socially inappropriate and stimmed constantly in odd ways -hummed and twirled hands in front of my eyes during class and was in the system since I was a little kid.

Nice thread idea!

Ways in which I am a "typical" aspie
- hypersensitive to sounds
- high tolerance to some kinds of physical pain (I fell asleep while I got a tattoo over my collarbone)
- obsessed with animals, I like them better than people
- I appear not to be very empathic
- science-oriented
- factual
- delayed social skills
- genius level IQ
- I like to eat the same thing over and over
- I love routine

Ways in which I am atypical:
- Female
- I am willing to try spicy/unusual food without too much worry
- I love to drive
- I actually enjoy makeup most of the time

I like to shop. It's fun.

Ways in which I am a "typical" aspie
-Genius level IQ
-Obsessed with complex, abstract academia subjects such as Chemistry, Mathematics, and Music Theory.
-Ability to hyper-focus
-Complete rubbish social skills
-Hate to be touched/hugged without initiating it first
-Fascination with cartoons and animals
-Emotional meltdowns
-Photographic memory
-Articulate speech, out-of-place accent (in the middle of the Deep South with a West Coast Accent?!?!? What gives, AS?)

Ways in which I am atypical:
- I'm a girl
-I don't stim.
-I've been in several relationships (all of them ended poorly seeing as I'm only in my late teens and aspergic).
-I can be sarcastic, but I just can't tell when others are and often times have to ask.
-I care for appearances.

Ways I'm a typical Aspie:

* I'm intellectually gifted
* I have poor balance and coordination
* I have auditory and tactile hypersensitivity, and a bit of visual hypersensitivity
* I love cats (seriously, have you noticed how many Aspies have cats?)
* I was bullied through most of my elementary school years
* I have had obsessive interests all my life
* I stim pretty much continuously

Ways I am not a typical Aspie:

* I hate math (though I'd probably be good at it if I could overcome my aversion to it)
* I played pretend obsessively as a kid
* I prefer routine but don't insist on it
* My interests have always involved living creatures, usually humans (psychology, chromosome disorders, disabilities, drug addiction, third-world problems, vampires and other supernatural creatures, the rainforest, David Attenborough's documentaries, cats, Steve Grand's Creatures series, the Animorphs series, etc)
* I'm a very skilled writer and an aspiring author

Some of those are more typical of Newson Syndrome, though I have my share of atypicalities for that label, too. (I keep going back and forth on whether it fits, for this reason. Unfortunately, I'd have to be under 16 and in England to get an official diagnosis of it.)

Stereotypical Traits
Good at math.
I work as a software engineer.
I wrote my first computer game at the age of 7.
Very pronounced stimming.
Hate fiction.
No eye contact.
Very obsessive special interests.
No friends.
I've counted cards while playing blackjack in Vegas.

Counter-Stereotypical Traits
I'm not bothered by loud noises.
I don't particularly like large crowds but can tolerate them.
I'm married. Not doing great at it but did somehow manage to accomplish it.
I have kids. My son has classic autism.
I attempt humor on occasion.
I get sarcasm most of the time.

^^^

Not stereotypical trait: I am good at banter.

(Stereo)Typical aspie features I have:

Don't get lonely easily

Synesthesia

Problems reading non-verbal cues

Poor social skills

Argumentative, stubborn & rigid

Love animals

Good with music, math & computers

Genius IQ

High pain tolerance

Emotional meltdowns

Been married, now divorced

Bullied most of my life

Obsessive interests

No eye contact

No friends

Don't understand sarcasm or metaphors


Ways in which I'm different from, or opposite to "typical" Aspies:

Don't stim, never have

Loud music doesn't bother me (As a DJ, I actually quite enjoy it)

High reading comprehension

Can be quite humorous at times

Good sense of humor

Not asexual

Not into gaming or anime

Other than criteria that is required for a diagnosis there is no typical ASD. I've been around this forum long enough to know that all of you are as different as anyone else. For the most part stereotype are BS.

(Stereo)Typical aspie features I have:
*Stimming -- particularly, picking at my skin or scalp and smelling my fingers

*Have always been described as "quiet" and am terrible at nonverbal communication -- have often been asked if something was wrong when I actually felt perfectly content (after so many years of getting that question, it's become rather offensive to me -- I want to scream, "Stop criticizing my face!" whenever someone random tells me I should smile)

*When I am not quiet, I tend to either rant or lecture about something that interests me

*I often do not respond to jokes correctly -- I will instead pick out something in the joke that I know something about and comment on it seriously despite understanding that it was a joke

*Mild synesthesia -- certain songs taste certain ways to me

*Aversion to nail files and sand paper (hearing, feeling, or even seeing them being used)

*Delayed emotional maturation (although this was contributed to by my father being abusive and then my mother not being there a lot due to work, there are things that point toward ASD, such as the fact that I was extremely gullible far into my teens and always thought people were making fun of me even when they weren't)

*Obsessed with animals, specifically breeds of dogs (can still name most of them when I see them -- I figured out that my aunt's dog is part basinji), since childhood. Became obsessed with technical drafting, especially by hand, in middle school through the end of high school (I still miss it, but I don't have the tools to do it -- they are expensive -- and didn't get the opportunity to major in engineering like I wanted to). For the past couple years and still now I have been obsessed with linguistics to the point that I will go on and on about it regardless of whether the other person is interested (they usually aren't -- interestingly, this obsession with linguistics fits neatly into the DSM criteria of "persistent preoccupation with parts of objects" since it is the parts of language that I enjoy the most and see more easily, often, than the whole)

*I am naturally gifted in memorizing grammar and punctuation rules from various style guides (I've read that it is common for female aspies to be unusually knowledgeable and retentive in this aspect)

*I enjoy the logic of doing mathematics, although it does not come particularly easy for me and does require studying -- I do remember, though, that I couldn't get enough of long division when they taught it in elementary school and that I got quite upset when we moved on from it because I wanted to do more of it

*I'm also very uncoordinated; I have seen videos of myself, and I seem to move a frame or two slower than I ought to, suggesting a mind-body dissociation

*I do not understand NT women at all and am afraid to try to befriend them since they might find me creepy once they know I am attracted to women since I am not good at hiding my feelings (even though I wouldn't act on them without knowing it was mutual first); one thing that I really don't get is when women get excited about buying something "on sale" -- all I can think is that they still spent money, and the only reason it was on sale was probably because no one wanted to buy it at its previous price point. Thus, I cannot get properly excited about "sales."

*I refuse to let people be unfair to me or others -- I was getting an A in a class because I had taken a course that wasn't listed as a prereq, but when I saw that others who hadn't taken that class were failing, I told them about it even at risk to my own grade and helped support them in going to the dean about the prof not teaching the course properly. The prof hated me, but she couldn't take away my A in the end, and I think I helped save one woman's career who had to pass the class to keep her job.

*I hate being the center of attention, even if it's positive attention -- it just freaks me out

Ways in which I'm different from, or opposite to "typical" Aspies:

*I am a good salesperson, as long as the thing I am selling is either good quality or is at least a good match for the customer's needs (surprisingly, most sales jobs actually DO want honest salespeople since that keeps customers coming back)

*I enjoy romantic comedies and shows like The Bachelor(ette) and Korean dramas because I love to see others find love

*I like fiction a lot (although, I admit, it is usually scifi), such as shows like Doctor Who and novels like those of Neil Gaiman. I've noticed that a lot of Aspies dislike fiction. I do like nonfiction, too, but I gravitate toward fiction when I want to relax.

*I care quite a bit about what I look like, and I am a bit obsessed with the number on the scale, even though I do not wear a lot of makeup and I have no clue how to do an up-do other than a messy bun or ponytail (I'm not coordinated enough, I guess). I like to wear dresses now, although I hated wearing them when I was a child to the point of screaming my head off when my mom would try to put one on me.

*I am quite good at witty banter when I am in the mood for it -- although, after much time spent reading posts on wrongplanet, I'm realizing that the stereotype that Aspies don't have a sense of humor is completely false -- I've read some of the funniest jokes and banter on here.

*I love getting hugs from my friends and family (although I cannot "cuddle" for long periods of time like my husband likes to do, and forget about falling asleep if he's touching me with so much as his pinky finger)