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SteelMaiden
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06 Jun 2013, 2:44 am

I live in supported housing with others. But I want so badly to live in the middle of the British countryside in a cottage on my own where my nearest neighbour is a mile away.

I am unable to work now, but I am hoping that sometime in the future I will be able to work. Is there a type of job that has very little, or no, work demands with other people? I want to work, but without having to interact with others, ie team work, meetings etc.

I want to be a hermit.


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AnotherCatPerson
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06 Jun 2013, 5:21 am

Aaah, so relatable. I'd love to live somewhere in a natural environment with a little farm I can make my living off without people around me.

It's hard to find a job that requires little to no socialization. The best occupation you could choose is being an author. You could also be a photographer, truck driver, independent software developer or professional gamer. I'm probably not much of a help.



Rudywalsh
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06 Jun 2013, 5:58 am

I love isolation also.

Look for a job as a game keeper or forest ranger, sometimes a little house comes with the job.



Thelibrarian
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06 Jun 2013, 9:48 am

Maiden, I can certainly relate, and have realized your dream.

I was born with very high intelligence, and my parents used to talk endlessly when I was little as to whether I would attend Harvard or Yale. When things didn't work out that way, my parents became very resentful, and gave me hell. Actually, everybody gave me hell since there was no such diagnosis as AS, and the doctors didn't have the first clue as to what was going on with me. What this situation did was give me a me-versus-the-world outlook.

Consequently, from the time I was in grade school I would fantasize about being a hermit, and having no contact with anybody, ever. When I realized that this wasn't even possible, I decided I wanted some land out in the country, and spent my life working toward that goal. Now, I live a mile from my nearest neighbors in the Texas ranch country, who are actually kin. I love it.

Actually, my best friend is an NT computer programmer who just bought a small farm (six acres) outside of Edinburgh in Scotland. He paid three-quarters of a million pounds for it. He has been to visit me on my Texas ranch several times, and became so enamored with the rural life that he made it happen for himself.

Since I seriously doubt you have that kind of money, I can tell you what he told me, which is that about the only place where land is sanely priced in Britain would be in some of the farthest reaches of Scotland. The problem with that he told me is that it makes it very difficult to find work.

As far as a job for you, I initially trained as an academic librarian. I went public instead because of the awful politics in the academic environment. What I do know is that for science types, weird is tolerated a lot more than it is in the social sciences and humanities, which are my forte.

I would further add that the best way I've found to deal with people is to be the boss. That way they have to get along with you, though I am always careful to get along with my underlings as best I can. But when you are in charge, people are MUCH easier to deal with.

I hope this helps, and I hope you realize your dream. Speaking from my own experience, it is everything you think it is, and more.



beneficii
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06 Jun 2013, 10:13 am

I work in workforce management, in which we communicate (mostlY) via email. You do occasionally have to talk to people, but nothing beyond what is strictly work-related. Since you are all in the same company, you don't have to kiss their bums. You can just work and enforce the rules on the requests that come in.

Workforce management is generally found in call centres.



SteelMaiden
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07 Jun 2013, 3:25 pm

Thanks all.

I need to learn enough independent living skills and communication skills to be able to move out of supported housing and into independent living first. I have severe Asperger's, schizophrenia and severe OCD which make that hard.

The closest I can get is locking my bedroom door and putting my ear defenders on, or going to the wooded parts of the park; however my paranoia prevents me from walking in such parks alone.


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Zodai
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07 Jun 2013, 3:34 pm

I'm going to be an author. It's quite solitary for the most part, and usually you only have to communicate with those you live with (That would be my girlfriend within a few years.)

Going to conventions and stuff is probably the only 'outside' thing that's generally required - I've heard it DOES assist greatly in garnering fans. A website is good, and Email contact through publishers is for the most part the main communication. It shouldn't be TOO much, and if it you're worried about a meltdown maybe you can ask the organizers for a private room just in case.


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Thelibrarian
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07 Jun 2013, 3:37 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
Thanks all.

I need to learn enough independent living skills and communication skills to be able to move out of supported housing and into independent living first. I have severe Asperger's, schizophrenia and severe OCD which make that hard.

The closest I can get is locking my bedroom door and putting my ear defenders on, or going to the wooded parts of the park; however my paranoia prevents me from walking in such parks alone.


Maiden, just keep on working on things. Getting older doesn't do good things to the body, but I've found it does mean I have gotten a lot better at living; it's a matter of experience. High intelligence is a huge plus in this respect.

As far as being afraid to walk alone in parks, I'm not sure I would call that paranoia. As I understand it, paranoia is the unreasonable fear that something bad may happen. When walking alone in a park, bad things can and do happen, even if it's not common.

People who know me in person are horrified that I live where I do all alone. Since I live so far out that cell phone service is iffy at best, if something were to happen, it could very well be the end of me. I'm aware of this and have made a rational calculation that it is worth it.

Maybe you are in better shape than you realize.

Best of luck to you, and if I can be of assistance, just PM me.



SteelMaiden
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07 Jun 2013, 4:00 pm

Thanks. I'll keep working at it. I'm hoping one day I'll be able to attain solitude. Although I have medical conditions that mean I can't drive, which would make transport difficult......

To be honest even living in the more rural areas of Surrey (I currently live in the bit more built-up area of Greater London / Surrey) would be good enough for me. Just no way am I living in Central London, even if I ever become rich enough to afford it.

I've got a long way to go before I learn how to live alone. But I hope I'll get there. Failing that, living with my best friend in the middle of nowhere is good enough because my best friend also has Asperger's and he's really quiet.


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Thelibrarian
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07 Jun 2013, 4:12 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
Thanks. I'll keep working at it. I'm hoping one day I'll be able to attain solitude. Although I have medical conditions that mean I can't drive, which would make transport difficult......

To be honest even living in the more rural areas of Surrey (I currently live in the bit more built-up area of Greater London / Surrey) would be good enough for me. Just no way am I living in Central London, even if I ever become rich enough to afford it.

I've got a long way to go before I learn how to live alone. But I hope I'll get there. Failing that, living with my best friend in the middle of nowhere is good enough because my best friend also has Asperger's and he's really quiet.


Maybe we mean different things by solitude. To me, solitude isn't being completely alone all the time, but rather being alone most of the time, and then being able to control who comes into my life. I'm not sure total solitude would even be desirable. I think Aristotle was right when he observed that those who are completely alone either sleep with the gods or the pigs. I have no desire to do either.

As far as London goes, I don't blame you for not wanting to live there. I was last there in 1983, and while I certainly enjoyed my visit, I found it way too crowded and hectic even back then (I understand it's even worse now). I did fall in love with the English countryside though; I think you are lucky to live near it.

Keep on working on yourself and I'm sure you will get wherever you want to be.



Caz72
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07 Jun 2013, 4:44 pm

i prefer to be alone too. i live with my husband who i am happy with, but i dont care for friends.

my husband is adhd and have a few traits of aspergers im sure, but he he has always been an only child so he kind of gets on with one person, but his typical hyperactivity makes him the life and soul of a group sometimes, although he doesnt always get on well with people and usually ends up in an argument with some people.

but i prefer either his or my own company. i am a bus driver so i can get along with some of my regular passengers but that is what i call interacting with other people in small doses, which is fine with me.



anneurysm
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07 Jun 2013, 5:26 pm

In terms of finding a job: you might have to get creative here. Do you have access to any supportive employment services where you live? Perhaps they can help you with finding a job that is able to accommodate your needs.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


Kuribo
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07 Jun 2013, 5:35 pm

I crave friendship, but interacting with Neurotypical teenagers in high school has really taken it's toll, and made socialising exceptionally tiring for me. Once I leave school, I'd like to take one year of almost complete social isolation to "recover" from the negative effects high school has had on my motivation to socialise.