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yogiB1
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30 May 2015, 11:17 pm

I'm just curious...

Is is a common thing for people on the spectrum to lack the desire to have children?

I have no desire whatsoever to have children, but that could also just be a personality thing. Just wondering.


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0regonGuy
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30 May 2015, 11:28 pm

yogiB1 wrote:
I'm just curious...

Is is a common thing for people on the spectrum to lack the desire to have children?

I have no desire whatsoever to have children, but that could also just be a personality thing. Just wondering.


I never had kids. Never intend to. I really don't get the desire of people to have kids. Any reasons there used to be for having kids (e.g. extra help on a farm) don't exist anymore.


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jk1
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30 May 2015, 11:59 pm

I think it's more a personality thing although autism may indirectly affect it. I personally don't want to have children for a few reasons. A coworker, who is absolutely non-autistic, doesn't want to have children for similar reasons.



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31 May 2015, 12:31 am

I don't want to have children for many reasons.

First of all, giving birth to kids would imply that I was in some kind of married relationship with someone, which I don't think I'm capable of.

Secondly, I don't even like being around young kids, and having to change all of those diapers and spend half of your life caring for them sounds like way more trouble than it's worth.

And thirdly I don't think that I would be capable of providing them with a good childhood, what with all of my mental differences. I might not be able to support a family financially, and showing lack of affection for them / not being able to take care of all their emotional needs would probably screw them up.


It's just a good thing that my genes aren't being propagated through the gene pool.


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anthropic_principle
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31 May 2015, 1:16 am

I don't want to burden anyone by passing on this condition.
Not only that but I'm probably sterilized due to this infection and the damage its done anyway.
I mean kids are a big hassle.. I think the only reason I'd have them is to see how pretty a girl I could make.



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31 May 2015, 1:58 am

I have two beautiful children but due to autism I was never able to provide for them financially. Therefore when me and my husband split up, they had to live with him. I also feel bad that I wasn't able to give them all the normal affection that children deserve, but on the upside they turned out just fine and both are now grown up and doing well in life.



tetris
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31 May 2015, 8:13 am

I don't want children. They're too complicated, looking after a child for a day would be fine but not forever. I have no desire to even be with anyone to make the child in the first place, let alone actually having the child.



Cyllya1
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31 May 2015, 11:55 am

I want kids, but I will probably never be able to have them. I can barely take care of caged pets. If I'm ever able to care for kids, I will probably adopt some through the foster system.

My baseless hypothesis about this is that people are more likely to say they don't want kids if they've got something that makes them "weird" compared to their culture of origin (autistic, gay, mentally ill, etc), because a lot of people feel like they have to want kids or they're supposed to want kids, and it's practically taboo to not want kids. But once you're already weird, it's easier to add more weirdness to the pile.

By the way, you don't need to be in a romantic partnership to have kids. (After researching the matter, I'm pretty convinced that most of the anti-single-parent ideas out there are total myths.) Although, it's more challenging in some ways, so it may be too hard for disabled people.


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Joe90
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31 May 2015, 1:00 pm

I would like a kid, but I'm scared to get pregnant. I suppose I could adopt, but I want to be able to choose my own name.


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31 May 2015, 1:27 pm

Never happened and in hindsight I am glad I didn't. I just do not have the Executive Functioning to do the stressful 24 hour 7 days a week work needed to be a good parent. Also while I could have financially provided for them early on I probably would not have been able to once they became teenagers and especially collage years.

I am talking about me and I am not saying at all that autistics can't be great parents. There are plenty of Autistics that have been and are good parents. Unfortunately in this current climate there is a need to say this, they are just as much autistic people as I am.

I do love kids. They are literal and like to be repetitive. I am the eccentric uncle. A lot of kids especially younger ones like that.


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31 May 2015, 1:51 pm

I know some people with Asperger's have had kids, but I can't figure out why they would choose to. What about all the sensitivity to all the noise, the smells, being sprayed with bodily fluids, the constant interruptions to routine, the even more lack of sleep?

When NT's have kids I don't think they ever realize about how much it will cost just for the kid's first year of life. And then there will be the zillion dollars they'll need for college. No, even if they want to have kids, the parents think only about themselves, they never think about what kind of a life their kid will have. SELFISH.



CryosHypnoAeon
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31 May 2015, 2:26 pm

I did want to have kids , long time ago.
But after what society has put me through,
and all the persecution and inability to get money or jobs,

kids would just be a burden.

And I don't think I have the energy to love them, let alone raise them.



lasecna
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31 May 2015, 2:37 pm

I doubt its a spectrum thing to not wanting to have kids. It can vary with different individuals. Im pretty sure a lot of people on the spectrum dont have kids but not having kids is different then not wanting kids. A lot of aspies have trouble getting into relationships, etc.

I dont desire kids, I decided I didnt want kids when I was 16, 17. Never changed my mind the least bit. Although they always say, that I'll change my mind when Im older. Im 26 now. I suppose theres a possibility I might change my mind (or have a kid on accident) but I dont currently see kids in my future.



2cat007
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31 May 2015, 3:39 pm

If I have the time and money to to take care of a child, then I'll adopt one one day. Not anytime soon though, I want to wait until I'm in my late 30's or early 40's since I want to build a career first.



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31 May 2015, 3:49 pm

I can't think of a reason why you would want kids. All they seem is a burden. You have to have sex, watch your body grow huge and get ruined, shove that spawn out of a tiny hole going through huge pain, be its 24/7 maid for the first few years because it is completely useless and can't do anything, take care of it, spend so much money and time on it, and it infects you for the rest of your life and you only truly get rid of it when you die. It takes all your money and gives nothing back. No thank you. I'd rather get a pet - either a plant or animal. Cheaper, easier and cuter. I mean babies are ugly as hell, but puppies and kittens are pretty cute. I'd be an awful mother anyway. Pets you can't scar for life unless you're horrible and cruel which I won't be, I love animals.



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31 May 2015, 7:17 pm

Being around other people kids justs gives me all the more reasons to not have any of my own. I just can't see how anyone can stand to listen to a baby/kid crying or screaming at the top of their lungs. I just don't have the patients to do something like that.