Problems Talking To People

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At my age you'd think I had this problem licked.

About 90% of the time, when I talk to people (or write in internet forums) people walk away or lecture me for inappropriate language. Their response always takes me by surprise.

In the new DSM-5 manual, Section A-1 states: 1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity; ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back and forth conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response to total lack of initiation of social interaction,

Is this verbal communication deficit part of that definition?

Based on what they say it certainly sounds like it to me.

yeah it sounds like me

I have an extreme trouble starting conversations

Sorry, what did you say?

Personally I feel like I'm a tourist talking a different language, and I've lost the translation dictionary.

Definitions about what's Aspie and what isn't are crazy-making in my world. But yes. Aspies generally aren't thinking about other people's stories, it seems to me. We aren't internally figuring out how other's lives are working out, and why or why not they have a smile on their face today. But NTs are into that... and many of them are very skilled at it. It's pretty impossible, it seems to me, to get Aspies into being interested in everyones soap opera. On the other hand we can get really good at our tasks and interests, and sometimes that will bring us into a more social life..

yes,thats part of the entire spectrum alright,but its not a verbal/communication difficulty,its part of having social rules difficulty.
because have got a different way of understanding things,it means are genuinely unaware the things are saying are offending/hurting/freaking out etc people, am using sister for example; some people on the spectrum are called arrogant/snobs that look down on others because of their manner and it hurts them because they havent got a clue what they mean-however theyre not arrogant,its because they lack the social rules awareness-things theyre saying may make them appear that way to the majority group,eg; the neurologicaly typical.

a lot of people on the spectrum get wrongly banned from forums due to being called trolls, yet another issue coming from social rules difficulty;one aspie that can remember had an obsession with hitler,not in a 'bad' way,he wasnt a neo nazi which woud make it ironic [as hitler woud have gassed him if he had been around back then] but he was interested in all the stuff that made him him,including wondering if hitler had had aspergers or not and he woud talk about his obsession on the forum which resulted in him being banned,he wasnt argumentative nor disrespectful; he simply had an obsession in hitler,everyone else discussed their NT obsessions with no problem.
its very common for people all over the spectrum to have innocent interests in topics seen as 'wrong' in normie society such as serial killers; am a fan of reading about really weird serial killers such as albert fish or those with LD [US=ID] and it felt awesome to know the aspie support staff of mine was a serial killer info reader to because had been told off for reading about it and they were going to get the subject firewalled here.

I don't have a lot of issues conversing with people but it's very awkward to do so. I realize when people are talking about things I'm not interested in I tune out the conversation and go off into my own little world.

This is me. I never approach people for casual conversations and it's difficult for me to make phone calls to people I don't know too well. If other people start a conversation i do fine, but I have a hard time making eye contact (especially with girls) and often have trouble thinking of what to say.

I can't do conversations too well and eye contact is pretty much impossible but I can fake that part by looking at something close to the person's eye level. I don't think it matters how old you are if you have problems with it, you do.

When I was a teenager or something, I thought I would eventually learn to comfortably interact/converse with people in the future as an adult. Now I am an adult, but that adult magic didn't happen. I'm still the same awkward weirdo, only older. Now I realize that I will be like this for the rest of my life, too.

I can talk to people ok but they don't seem to like it when I do, generally speaking.

I find forums like this somewhat good for practice, in addition to studying and reading books on socializing and such.

I used to be a bit more shy in the past, but now since improving, I still often times freeze up or feel guilt or embarrassment for sometimes not being able to think on my feet. A usual thought from my mind: "Oh, wow, that would have been witty or clever to say, or would have suited the situation.... Five minutes ago. -.-; "

That is the part that reminds me how different my perceptions operate. The surprise.

I'm almost 54.

I think I should have said that it's a little easier to talk to someone if you can focus on something else in the background. Not just making eye contact but the whole coming up with words bit is almost impossible unless I can fixate on something I'm interested in. Even then it's laboured, but at least it's something.

I have a lot of difficulty speaking with people. Iniating small talk, sarcasm (goes right over my head), jokes, and knowing when people finish a train of thought before I begin mine ( I have been told that I interrupt people all the time). I try so hard but somehow people are always getting mad at me for not "understanding or listening".