Ideally, what supports would you need to be successful?

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One of my current passions involves the dire need for more services for adults on the spectrum. Where I live, many of the supports given to people with ASD cut off when they reach the ages of 18 to 21. While this has been recognized by many professionals and support agencies, there is a dire lack of programs that address these needs: especially for people with Asperger's as they are too high functioning to qualify for many supports. From what I can see on this board, many people with ASD across the world are facing this same dilemma: they have experienced difficulty with jobs, lack direction and willingness to achieve their goals, lack a social support system and friendships, and are often feeling powerless as they sit on the couch collecting disability payments. Personally, I know far too many people with AS who are either not doing anything with their lives or are *really* struggling with school or work. Statistics show that more than half of people with AS qualify for a depression or anxiety-related diagnosis. This needs to end.

I have a job contributing to helping challenge this. I am currently assisting with a pilot program for young adults on the spectrum that will enable to them to develop self-confidence, set goals for themselves, and develop skills in multiple areas of their lives that will enable them to be successful: awareness of their strengths and challenges, self-advocacy skills, social skills, skills to navigate post-secondary supports, and skills to enable success in the workplace and through self-employment (things like proper accommodations, use of job coaches and supported employment).

What I am saying to this board is that every single person on here is capable of so much. Yes, you. If you are reading this, you have strengths and talents to share. But the difficulty here is to find people and organizations that understand who you are, and proper supports in place to enable you to see yourself as successful and capable.

My questions to the board are:

1) What are your biggest obstacles in life right now?
and
2) What would you need to change this? Assume there is a service made just for you with the intention of helping you achieve your goals, whether it be a steady job, developing friendships out in the community...or completing your school and work duties with less stress. What would YOU need to be successful?

Looking forward to your replies.

Last edited by anneurysm on 02 Jun 2013, 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I need a flexible schedule not tied to a location with lots of light and noise and people. I have this now in lab. I even have an office in which the light dimmer and thermostat both work! This is a rarity in the world.

My biggest obstacle is finding a living arrangement I can tolerate. I tried living alone without a roommate and it didn't work. I hated shopping for food by myself and eating alone all the time. I tried living with roommates and that didn't work either. I couldn't relate and couldn't tolerate not having my privacy. Catch-22. I think what I need to do is find a part time job that isn't too stressful and find compatible single people online I can either live with or live close by so I can get together regularly.

What sports would I need to be successful...

Definitely not football, basketball, or anything of that sort.

Like most Autistics, I'm better at solitary sports, like running, swimming, cycling, those kinds of sports.

Other Autistics probably need such sports too to be successful. For example -

* An Autistic guy who is a surfing champion -
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style ... 97025.html

* An Autistic woman who is a karate champion -
http://www.responsesource.com/news/6099 ... -discovery

* An Autistic guy who is an Aikido master -
http://thautcast.com/drupal5/content/ai ... and-autism

When you talk about living with a roommate, is this someone who shared the same bedroom as you, someone who shared the same apartment, or someone who lived in a seperate part of an apartment. Due to the wide range of living options, I have to ask.

What's successful?

I'm guessing doing what you dream/dreamed of doing that isn't/wasn't too out there.

Well, military and police are out, as they won't let me join based on the ASD.

But that's ok (you can't always get what you want).

Are you joking or did you misread the topic?

I think success involves a compromise between your interests and your capabilities.

With that said, I don't think ASD should stop you from doing what you really want. I really think that people with AS should look for something related to their interests (even if it's not the *ideal* job) and focus there. Maybe working in the office at a police station or at a military base would work better. It's all about self-awareness and knowing what you are realistically capable of. That's why I think people on the spectrum need to be aware of themselves and what they are good at...I can't stress that enough.

There are a couple of obstacles that prevent me from being successful or living independently.
A couple of them are money, finding the perfect room mates who don't have the entitled mindset, a criminal background record, don't easily get angry, and don't mind people with autism, especially with the stimming.

Another one could be no vehicle, just wondering how I'm supposed to get around town without one for just doing basic errands.

The biggest ones is not being able to find a decent/acceptable job that accommodates people like me. I tried other special needs based job services in the past(like GoodWill, SVS), and didn't really like them because I have to get up early in the morning for a real long commute to a really crappy job that didn't pay well. Along with other people that treat you like a kid, or picks on you. Bottom line, those are the only day time jobs that are available to me which are not enough to make a living even though I do have a a coupe of job trading skills at experienced level related to computers like programming, and digital art.

Yeah, I have SSI but it's not really enough to pay the bills.

Shared the same house, not the same bedroom. I couldn't deal with it because for several reasons. For one, the internet signal didn't reach my bedroom so I had no private place to be online. For another it was a family I moved in with so I felt like an outsider. I also never knew when I was going to be invited to eat with the family and when I'd have to make something for myself. Sometimes they would eat before I got home and ask me to cook something for myself when their dirty dishes were all in the sink grossing me out. Mostly I just couldn't stand sharing the kitchen if we weren't eating together.

Another time I moved in with other students and it was sheer hell. I didn't last a week. Again, I couldn't handle the grossness, kitchen sharing, and lack of privacy. I think I just can't handle sharing a kitchen with male roommates period. I just get too grossed out and it stresses me to high heaven.

Last edited by marshall on 03 Jun 2013, 12:44 am, edited 2 times in total.

Does a lot of money count? Just kidding. My biggest obstacle is to find an adapted job for me, where my intelligence fits and has the challenges i need, but has still the practical feasibility. I'm very inconsistent when it comes to practical feasibility. One day i have all the energy of the world, the other i seem to be overwhelmed by just breathing. Also, i need a lot of space! both literally and figuratively. I need a boss that can give me the space that i need, every single day. Practical, the best thing is just to leave me alone, and let me figure out what i want to do that day. There's not that much room for performances, let alone deadlines! I can't handle pressure a lot, but i can't handle no pressure at all as well. There just has to be the perfect balance between a healthy dose of stress and challenge to match my intelligence, but not too much so i can't handle it anymore. And that balance changes every day for me, so i think it's practical not doable to find me that kind of job, were i can be myself every single day. Unfortunately, you don't get payed just because you're living, because living it self seems like a dayjob for me! You know, actually what i need is that society changes. But that seems to be a forever dreaming situation i guess. Sometimes i really wish i was in the era of the Neanderthals or something, were there were no rules and laws yet, just the laws of nature. If time travel were possible, i just get me a single ticket! If i want to be successful in this life, a lot of things has got to go, like a lot of rules and a lot of people. I'm convinced that in a 'parallel universe' there's really nothing wrong with me. It's society that's stopping me from success, not me or my autism. That's how i see it. Nevertheless, i have a lot of successes in my life. I'm in a fantastic relationship with this fantastic man who accepts me for who i am. I live in a beautiful house, near the forest. I have 2 wonderful dogs who are my life so far, and i have a wonderful family(in-law) who adores and worships me. My husband has a really cool job (filmmaker), i have good friends, and know a lot of people. I'm supported by our government by having a disability-benefit so that i'm certain of some income. I practical can do whatever i want, so i try not to complain a lot

I am pretending to have misread the topic. So yes, I am joking.
However -
===
I do think some Autistics can excel at solitary sports
If they are given the right supports...
===

Validation, acceptance, respect. Aspies have given the world an enormous amount in science, art, literature, music, technology, paradigm shifts, etc; Aspie creative and intellectual gifts have been given to the NT world for its benefit. Their gift to us? Trying to relegate us to "less than" status with insulting labels, social exclusion, marginalisation. Recognition that just because we are different does not mean that we are inferior. We aren't inferior!

Well said. I know in many ways I have superior abilities than most like my photographic memory, strong attention to detail (as my coworkers say I'm obsessive compulsive about doing things right), high degree of loyalty and my honest and straightforward nature. Just because I can't make "proper" eye contact or BS people means that I am employed FAR below what my skills are even though I do love my job. Luckily I already get the supports I would like (private office, left alone, work at my own pace, etc).
Of course, it was hard to be accepted in elementary school when I talked during recess how illogical Hawking's idea that black holes could even prevent light from escaping. No doubt the other kids had no idea what the heck I was talking about.

A housekeeper!

I'm going to night school full-time for my bachelor's in MIS and I have a little one at home with me. My partner works full-time so it pretty much falls on me to take care of all the household chores because I'm the one at home all day. So I have to clean, do laundry, dishes, tend to my child and our pets and do homework. I think that would be a lot for an NT to juggle, throw in my Aspie difficulties with short-term memory and problems prioritizing or multitasking and it's usually not very productive all the way around.

A new brain.

Have some serious problems with learning.

Other than that, someone to do everything at hope. someone to cook, someone to clean, someone to wash clothes.

A job without any other people, my alone in a room. getting driven to and from work by a driver.

A tiny bit unrealistic sadly.