Control freak

Post Reply New Topic

Just wondering if this is just my personality or the way my brain functions, my family seem to think that I am a control freak maybe I am. When my help is ask for and I agree I commit myself 100% + and when I work out how I am going to help nothing changes my mind. I don't understand how people don't agree with the way I approach the situation. I will argue my point tirelessly and on so many occasion have fallen out with family members, friends etc. I will not back down if I really feel I am right and I must add that I usually are.

I will go over the scenario's in my head over and over and then I come to the conclusion that the person I am helping or whomever is involved is stupid. All my life which I find confusing my thinking has been either I am stupid or everyone else is. Of course my conclusion is everyone else!! ! Hope this makes sense

I used to be like that. age mellows one, or at least reveals to one where one has overestimated one's infallibility.

I am alot as you discribe, I think alot of has to do with, for me anyway its perfectionism and more so perhaps the impaired abillity to interact and be on a simular wave length with the people your working with so I think its a combination of your brain and a little bit of personallty. I tend to be a really bossy control freak(people get upset and tired with me however stuff gets done and done well) or I can sometimes make myself be totally passive needing constant direction on the simplest of details since I end up shuting down my brain and act sort as a slave to the desision maker/project leader, its the needed happy medium of delecate assuretiveness/receprocateing of ideas I simply can't do. On personal projects and actitives related to my special intrests I tend to have major issues not being in complete control, I just can't do it.

I can get like this, definitely. I start digging my heels in when things go too fast for me because I get overwhelmed. I think it looks like I'm trying to control people, when in reality I need things done at a certain speed, or a certain way so that I can understand them. I generally get controlling when I think someone is trying to control me, even in airplanes when they say you have to sit down while the seatbelt sign is on. I know I have to, and I do, but a big part of me really hates doing as I'm told.

+1. I've always kept to the rules, but admire people who can operate beyond them. If I get overwhelmed in a situation I try to take over to create order. People humor me or call me on it anymore, and I usually can laugh at myself and try to relax a little.

A psychologist once told me that he thought I have a touch of Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

My honest reply was to look at him and say, "No, I don't."

I have this too. I think it's OCD/trauma related. It could be neurological in some.

Thanks girly_aspie you made me

You're welcome, even the psychologist had a good laugh at that.

I kinda have it at my own place. If people move my stuff, adjust preferences/settings on electronic devices etc, I can get really pissed.
But I think it has more to do with predictability of my own stuff.

Might this be, in others, a result of having to walk on eggshells as a result of living with, or being around someone with OCD?

I will give you the example of my Uncle, my [late] Mother's younger brother. His wife who has OCD, when off her meds, won't touch the belongings of anyone outside her immediate family, regardless of what they have been doing (she wears plastic produce bags, stolen from grocery stores over her hands before doing so).

Unfortunately, he has been giving in to her so much that HE has issues, in terms of being a control freak, and 'noticing everything', be it an unusual smell of your cologne, if you have shaven, if your car's exhaust pipe is loose, or drinking from someone else's glass - need I go on?

He started chewing me out over countless issues regarding the family cottage... it has ranged from removing items I leave in drawers such as spare clothing, magazines, writing paper, which have either been returned to the city or burned in the wood stove to appease her fear of contamination. And every time he is up and I am about to leave, he runs around the property like a madman to see if I destroyed or damaged anything. He even looks into the toilet cistern to see if I put a puck of toilet bowl cleaner into it, claiming that I was trying to 'destroy the septic system.'

My cousin and I have a long-running joke - 'If you lose a needle in a haystack at the cottage, don't worry, [Uncle] will easily find it and give you grief for it!'

As for me, I believe in live and let live, and not fall into the above trap mentioned.

I am a big control freak.

I want to control the horizontal and the vertical and eberrything else too.

I want to control the outer limits.

The only problem is that everybody else is wrong.