'Cheer Up ! It's not the end of the World !'

Post Reply New Topic

Since I was a young child I can remember I'd be sitting or walking along lost in my own thoughts and a complete stranger would come up to me and say 'Cheer Up ! It's not the end of the World !'
Sometimes they'd even prod me or put their hand on my shoulder which is even more disturbing.

I am now in my 60's and they're still doing it !

Not as much but enough to be very annoying.

I don't get it, I've never got it, is it supposed to be reassuring or something ?

'Cause it definitely isn't.

Apparently when deep in thought I look miserable even when quite happy, but even if I was miserable what makes people think they can cheer me up by disturbing me ?

Anyone else experience this?

Mostly I get "smile, it's not so bad" from strangers, but I have gotten "cheer up, it's not the end of the world" a few times too.
Am I supposed to force a smile when someone says that? Awkward.
I got that more when I was younger too. I must be getting too old to be approachable.

Maybe I've got a face that says miserable but approachable.

I would like a face that says miserable and stay away !

I will confess to having practised smiling or a look of interest but I have no control over what I look like when l'm 'away with the fairies.'.

I never, ever get strangers noticing me. Well, they either stare at me with a hateful look on their face, or they walk right into me so I've got to stop in my tracks all the time, or they just ignore me if I smile to them. At least strangers actually notice you properly, although suddenly saying to someone ''cheer up'' when they don't know you is a bit rude, how do they know you haven't just had a tragic death happen to one of your loved ones? I thought NTs were supposed to be empathetic with this kind of thing?

I have been told I look miserable and people have said, ''cheer up'' to me before, but only people who know me. I do find it a bit annoying, especially that I am usually feeling agitated or anxious when out in public, so it's hard to keep up this smiley expression on my face.

It just becomes irksome when people expect Aspies to consider other people's feelings when they see an unresponsive face, like ''oh perhaps they're having a bad day'', but when an Aspie is looking unresponsive, we are criticised and shown up.

My current response to that is, 'If it where I'd feel better'. Though I don't believe the wold will be totally destroyed current government systems should collapse though causing chaos and it would be interesting it would give life more purpose on the other hand destruction of the entire world would end the pain.

So yeah don't get how 'its not the end of the world' makes people feel better.

It's intended to make themselves feel better.
It's the short version of:
'I'm going to "cheer up, it's not the end of the world," if this person dies right now at my feet.'

or some such...

Yeah, used to get that a lt until I learned to affect a reasonable facsimile of a smile when out in public. Mothers with young children no longer instinctively glance around them and gather their brood when I appear. That mask slips occasionally & once I must have looked especially dour while grocery shopping. As I stood reading a label, I heard, "Jesus loves you," looked around, and saw a Mennonite woman walking away. I must have appeared to be an especially troubled soul!

I used to get that a lot before I got bad depression . Apparently I used to look miserable when I was actually fine . Now that I am miserable most of the time I am taken as being angry , but at least the the " cheer up " talk as stopped as people don't bother you as much if they think you are going to rip there face off

I personally never got this expression . The end of the world would really cheer me up, I could deal with that a lot better than the way things are . I think that seeing most of the people of this world go up in flames would pick my mood up a treat.

I remember as a teenager exactly this happening all the time but it was 'cheer up, it might never happen' to which I would reply 'it already has' not because I was unhappy but because I was so fed up with people saying this. I too am in my 60s now but it stopped happening to me years ago. Over the years people have commented on my looking unfriendly, pulling faces etc. etc. I get really annoyed that if I made a personal comment it would be seen as inappropriate or rude but is is perfectly acceptable for NTs to comment on my appearance.

I think you're probably right.
I'm the one who's supposed to have problems but I don't expect everyone else to feel the same as I do at any particular time.
A lot of people don't seem to be able to tolerate people who don't go along with the general mood as if somehow it's an attack on them.
(Maybe it is because I don't have much time for people who just mindlessly join in some general feeling)

In school I had one teacher tell me to smile.....I just told her I was thinking, although I was tempted to say why the heck should I when I'm surrounded by a-hole classmates who bully me everyday and am used to wearing my "warface" for most of my school life.
At my current job, I don't have that problem and most of the time I can work in peace. Smiling isn't a big requirement for shipper receivers after all.
With that one teacher I have always been tempted to go up to her and tell her to smile it isn't the end of the world while she is sad.

Unless it's something huge, I try not to let things bother me. There are times when I am angry or sad, though, which can get the better of me. (Having mild depression is a bummer)

I am more irked when people "sugarcoat" things, though.

Variable filter required. Quintessence not included.

As a child and youngster, I got the:"Don´t look like the muse of sorrow" from my mother, - mainly, when we were shopping together. I grew physically tired of standing, while she tried on clothes. It was boring of course, but I wasn´t aware of my expression. I only felt facial tension. As a young/younger adult I´ve had comments as well, until I learned to glue on a little permanent smile.

Ugh, yes, I got that all the time when I was younger especially. I hated it and felt it to be very intrusive and assuming, especially coming from perfect strangers passing on the street, where it would happen a lot.

I think as I got older two things changed -- as someone else mentioned, I learned to kind of put on a "neutrally pleasant" expression to go about in public. But it's something I constantly still feel self conscious of; it's a totally fake thing.

So a second thing started happening -- sometimes when I just can't wear that fake look, I just let myself look whatever way my face wants to look, and I seem to have lucked into the "Miserable, and stay away!" face!

An NT goes up to a random stranger who is looking miserable (the stranger happens to be an Aspie but they don't know that) and says, ''cheer up!'' It is acceptable, the NT thinks everyone should be happy and it's not nice to see someone looking miserable. Also they were just encouraging the miserable-looking stranger to smile.

An Aspie goes up to a random NT stranger who is looking miserable, and says, ''cheer up!'' It is not acceptable, the Aspie gets an hour long lecture by someone telling the Aspie that this person could be looking miserable for all kinds of reasons they don't know about, and that they could have made this poor little NT feel worse. The Aspie is also accused of lacking empathy.

Tell me where this stops being fair?