My social anxiety makes me talk to much. Please Help Me!

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matsev
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24 Jun 2013, 10:28 am

It doesn't seem to make sense that social anxiety would make me talk more, but it is a problem that is virtually ruining my life. I simply don't understand it. The problem is especially bad when I'm interacting with groups of people. I become pretty obnoxious and I make jokes that hurt people's feelings. But for some reason I cannot control what I'm doing and its like I'm having some out-of-body experience where I'm watching myself make a fool out of myself.

Perhaps prescribed anxiety medication would help...

Thanks for any advice you have to offer,
Mat



qawer
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24 Jun 2013, 10:47 am

Talking too much is in this situation likely a way of trying to please others, been there.

Think more of yourself instead of others. Be more assertive. What do you want? What do you need? That's what matters the most, not what others want of you! Never talk just to please others. Often it has the opposite effect.



WerewolfPoet
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24 Jun 2013, 10:50 am

Are you currently in therapy of any sort? Cognitive behavioral therapy can help with all sorts of anxiety, including social anxiety, and make you more aware of why you do the things that you do and what you can do to have greater control over yourself.

Would it be possible to explain beforehand to the group that you have social anxiety and are thus prone to saying inappropriate things? Many people are actually very forgiving of behaviors arising from such conditions.

Depending on how much control you have, would it be possible to pause for five seconds before you say anything and take the time to "filter" your thoughts? Everybody thinks very offensive, inappropriate thoughts at times; some people's filters just react much faster than others.

If it is literally an out-of-body experience where you are perceiving yourself from the outside and cannot control your actions, then you may have some sort of depersonalization or dissociation disorder; sometimes, the mind and the body can become extremely detached from one another. This, too, can be helped by therapy.

I would be careful around medication, as medication can have some rather serious side effects (anti-anxiety medication can lower your energy, for example, as they are often made with depressants, and some medications can actually make you more impulsive). I do find peppermint tea to be helpful in calming down.

In any instance, best of luck to you in your situation!


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I am not a textbook case of any particular disorder; I am an abstract, poetic portrayal of neurovariance with which much artistic license was taken.


Lucywlf
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24 Jun 2013, 2:43 pm

OMG I have the exact same problem. I was told I wasn't "shy". which I was, because I just went on and on and on. At one time I tried to completely shut myself off from people because I knew when I was around them I would talk too much, say too much and hurt someone--didn't work. People thought I was snobbish. When I finally couldn't take their "trying to bring me out," another word for bullying, I talked to the wrong people(people who were supposed to be there to help, but obviously not to give as much help as I needed) and people used everything I said to bully me more, labeling me a malicious gossip. That pretty much turned me into a b***h for a while and left me bitter.

I'm on Celexa now and am putting myself out there with a group, and I've done the same thing: dominated conversations, revealed too much, and made people not want to talk about anything personal around me. I am getting better, though, at listening and asking others about themselves, and I am even beginning to be able to read expressions and body language a bit because the fear chemicals aren't flooding my brain so hard.

Therapy has helped too, in regards to the PTSD for the bullying described above.