Verbal/physical abuse by relatives

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My mother is constantly mocking me and yelling at me for autism-related problems. Right now she's on the phone with a friend in the next room. She's talking s**t about me and complaining about her "stupid child" without even trying to hide it.

She doesn't take autism seriously in the first place and loves to accuse me of using it as an excuse. She's absolutely not willing to make any compromises or give me any kind of support. She wants me to act normal and doesn't understand why I can hardly do that. For example, I have a hard time understanding nonverbal cues. She likes to test that by placing something dirty next to the sink, for example, and expects me to clean it. But my brain doesn't work like that. Either I don't notice the item at all, or I'm not sure what to do with it, these kind of hints don't work for me. I told her a thousand times to just tell me clearly what she wants me to do. But no, apparently she can't do that because it would be annoying for her and she expects me to pay attention to every little detail and read her mind so I know what she expects me to do.

She doesn't respect the fact that I don't like people touching me or standing too close to me either. Whenever she does it, and I kindly ask her to give me some more space, she acts hurt and asks me why I don't want my mother close. When I'm in a bad mood because I'm bothered by the loud chainsaw running next to our house for hours, she tells me to get it together and to stop being oversensitive. When we're having an argument she likes to call me useless and stupid and complains that she would have preferred a normal child. It's been this way forever, even when nobody knew I was autistic.

What do we do with such people? She can also be nice and funny sometimes, and I still love her somehow, but these arguments are driving me insane.

If your mother's anything like mine she'll probably have cycles of love/abuse toward you. Solve a minor problem like getting the TV signal realigned and you'll be the hero of the hour while getting a month straight of browbeatings. In my mother's world you can't cure or medicate autism but it's the individual's responsibility to cope with life by becoming as NT-like as one can, though nobody else has the job of understanding the individual. She also blames my father's genes for it even though her own father had many similar traits to me but his case was as a product of a dysfunctional environment. Pfft, yeah ok

Two questions-

How old are you and do you have a doctor, therapist, or social worker you can discuss this abuse with?

This is not normal behaviour for someone who "loves" another person.

This person is stubbornly holding on to a fantasy that they can force you to no longer have your neurological difference.

They're wrong.

You are a person with a disability who is being verbally and psychologically abused.

It needs to stop or be stopped.

Report this. Today.