Reevaluating my ASD diagnosis

Post Reply New Topic

Lately, I've been thinking about my diagnosis of having Asperger's. It really doesn't come up in my meetings with my therapist any more because we've been focusing on other things, like my bipolar and the crippling depression that it causes. I don't usually talk about it to anyone any more either because I feel that if I were to, I'd be rubbing it in everyone's face as a way to get attention. I posted earlier about how nobody in my life seems to keep in my mind that I have Asperger's so I was wondering if my aspie traits were so minor that I may as well not be aspie. Anyway, these are a few of my traits that got me diagnosed:

* Extreme attention to detail. I look at pictures or see scenes in movies and notice things that nobody else will.
* I take a lot of things literally. I'm fine with being sarcastic myself, but when I hear sarcasm, I don't get it unless it's really obvious.
* Things that are illogical bother the hell out of me. When my parents would tell me to do or not do something and their reasoning was "because I said so" I would argue with them until they either gave me a real reason or they would yell at me.
* I'm nitpicky (my fiancee's words). We were talking and she used the words 'constantly' and 'always' in different contexts. I argued that they mean the same thing and was so focused on that that she got fed up with me. She'll also misuse words quite frequently and I'll say "Don't you mean X?". I'd also say this has to do with my perfectionism. I'll erase and rewrite something several times because I don't like the way I made a certain letter. Things just have to be a certain way for me or else it makes me uncomfortable.
* Overly analytical.
* When I get into something, I get really into it. I'm a musician, so I like to know everything about everything music related. I want to play a lot of different instruments and am constantly trying to learn new things, almost to the point of obsession. When I first get into something, I'm always on the computer trying to look up information. I'll download and buy stacks of books on the subject.
* Sensitive to sensory experiences. I love touching certain things. Sometimes I'll rock back and forth in my car seat because I like the way the seat belt feels rubbing over my neck. My sense of taste and smell is extremely sensitive.
* I don't deal with people or confrontation very well. I'm actually afraid of people and I'm paranoid that I'm going to get into a confrontation whenever I go out in public. That's more my anxiety and OCD (intrusive thoughts) though.
* I've always been fine by myself. I don't need to go out or have someone else to do something with. I'm actually quite bad at entertaining guests and I really don't like going out. Staying at home where I'm surrounded by my interests is what appeals to me.
* When I get really upset I do rock back and forth while squeezing my hands as a comforting mechanism.
* I can't read intentions. That coupled with my anxiety and intrusive thoughts have prevented me from driving for over a year now.
* Lack of empathy. When someone's sad, I can't match their emotions. I can pretend and I can care about that person, but I can't empathize. Same thing when people tell me about their interests. They'll be going on about some show they're watching or something that they're into, and I can't help but zone out. I honestly don't care. I feel very selfish, but I can't help it. I feel it would be insincere to feign interest.

I really feel selfish sometimes because I can't help the way I am yet I don't want to burden anyone else. Are these the traits of someone with Asperger's or was I misdiagnosed. I guess with no attention being paid to being aspie and no acknowledgement of it from anyone, I kind of second guess the diagnosis. What are your opinions?

Therapists are there to help you with things that are a problem in your life. If your Aspergers symptoms don't cause any problems (or the problems are not as severe as the other things you've been discussing) in your life then it makes sense not to focus on them in a therapy session. Im not an expert but I can give you my opinion as I understand things. I think someone could have Aspergers and live happily, without noticing anything is wrong, but that doesn't mean they don't have it. Do you have it or not? I don't know, although your symptoms seem comparable with someone who could have it. A lot of characteristics of Aspergers seem to fly under the radar because they can appear normally in someone who is NT. NTs can lack empathy, develop stimming behaviors, have sensory overloads ect. But not usually all of them at the same time and for life.

I don't think you have to mention you're aspie to anyone if you don't want to. I suppose it might be frowned upon if someone asks you why, say, you're not empathizing with them and you respond, "it's because I have Aspergers." I believe you can always keep trying and learning how to cope with things you find difficult even if it is a natural trait of your brain. I hope this was helpful in someway.

Your experience sounds a lot like mine, only I have minimal empathy issues and actually like to socialize to some degree (those aren't my problem areas). Still, I honestly believe I'm an Aspie, and although it's not obvious to everyone, all my investigations and my diagnosis back it up.

My regular therapist (not the ASD-specialist psychiatrist who diagnosed me) thinks I'm not really an Aspie, but just have some Aspie-like traits. But I also have some clear indications that I have actual brain differences, and those differences resemble those of an ASD. I am confident that my diagnosis, the information I've gathered and my experience all indicate that I can be pretty sure I'm an Aspie, and to me that's useful information.

I think it's valuable to have a diagnosis, because it gives you a starting point for understanding the challenges of your life. I totally get what you're saying about being negligibly Aspie, and I'm in the same boat to some degree, but it's not about getting other people to acknowledge it. Some of them will and can help support you, but the way I look at it, a diagnosis is really for your own information.

If it's truly the best fit for your symptoms, I'd keep the diagnosis. I ask myself, what else would it be if not Asperger's / ASD?
I've also been considering lately that ASD may be the only real diagnosis I should have; I thought maybe I had ADD as well, or OCD, or depression, but now I think those all come built into Asperger's.

Whatever you decide, I hope it leads toward health and happiness for you!

Yes, and I do think that the traits you describe are Aspie traits.

I am an expert (and occasionally arrogant ) and you are correct! If Asperger's is causing you less distress than bi-polar/depression, then the mood disorders are the ones to be focusing on! It doesn't, however, meant that the AS diagnosis is gone. There is a high coocurance rate between AS and mood disorders and the AS can affect mood in profound ways.
For me, my past social failings led me to experience significant depression and feeling worthless. It has also led to me being a highly anxious person today. Part of therapy may include how AS can affect those things in you! Other parts may just focus on how to identify and manage those feelings. I'll leave the treatment planning to your provider, though!

In most ways the mood disorder is worse, but with the few people I socialize with, being aspie is a pain simply because they don't seem to acknowledge it. I hate saying it, but I've actually said "it's because of my Asperger's". I usually get the "no it's not" response even though they've never really read anything about it. It's frustrating and I think it attributes to my mood disorder.

I think this goes back to what I was saying about how the symptoms of Aspergers appear in NT people. For example, someone gets upset because maybe they notice you zoom out while they are talking to you, they might get this reaction from someone who is perfectly normal. They maybe don't realize you are like this with everyone, they can only judge the situation based on their own perspective and since what you are doing is by standard normal, they see you as normal, just maybe being rude in this instance. By saying, "it's because I have Aspergers," they feel like you are giving them an excuse to not even try. Better to just say sorry and move on.