What to say at the supermarket...

Post Reply New Topic

...when asked humourously whether I'm having a party when buying some beers.

All of my previous responses have been absolutely terrible, from being completely tongue-tied, to saying "No, it's just me" (which is sort of a downer) and "I wish!" (which is also a terrible downer).

How can I put a positive spin on it and act bright and upbeat? I think I might be doing myself a disservice (and perhaps even killing interest in some cases).

Basically, I completely fail at flirtatious banter with people I do not know. I don't know how to talk or respond. Kill me now.

Say it's all for me in a bright upbeat voice with a smile on your face.

Tell them that you've worked hard all week and this is your way of treating yourself, with a smile.

I'll come across as an alcoholic if I buy 12 bottles and use that. Plus I'm a big fat bloke anyway.

I can't own this.

They will know I am a liar if I say that. They know me well enough that this won't work.

I'd just say "no" or "no, it's all for me."

I don't drink at all, and haven't in over twenty years. Having said that, buying a twelve-pack of beer hardly makes one an alcoholic. I wouldn't worry about it.

If you're really feeling your oats, and somebody does make veiled accusations of alcoholism, just tell them that it's your favorite disease. It shuts them up in a hurry; I used it myself a few times.

I personally don't care what people at stores think of my purchases. They need to just shut up and take my money.

Once when buying Yugioh cards the person said "You are going to make some kid really happy." I said they were for me and then he said "Then I guess you'll make you really happy."

I had an aunt once tell us about some bs story she told a cashier because she was embarrassed about a purchase. I don't understand why she even cared what they thought of it and it was none of their business anyways. She was buying a bunch of these cheap things to put your dentures in to soak them as little stocking stuffer Christmas gifts but for some reason (I guess being embarrassed that there are a lot of people in my family with dentures?) she made up some bs story about making care packages for a nursing home.

I don't know why they would think you were an alcoholic. Buying a lot at once (12 is not a lot) doesn't mean you'll drink them all at once and that would be an awfully small/short party.

Maybe someone is looking for an invite?

I don't see why you should worry what people at the supermarket think. At no point are you obligated to discuss your life with them, or how much you choose to drink.

Personally if they asked me the same question, I would just say 'yeah, something like that' with a mysterious smile, and leave it at that.

Over here cashiers have obviously been taught to strike up conversations, which used to horrify me when they asked me what I had been up to today. I suspect you are finding the same thing - they are looking for a topic of conversation, so if you just buy booze they will ask if you are having a party, if you walked in and bought ten cartons of milk they would find some comment about that instead.

My latest tactic is to go shopping with headphones on, which works on two levels. First of all, I don't have to listen to all the supermarket noise, and then I can just nod at them at the checkout and not have to have a conversation. It works well for me.

This is what I don't get.

It's a stupid thing to say, so why say it?

If I say "no", it's sort of a mood-killer. I can use that, and I have done that before. But it shuts the conversation down when I might want to keep it jovial.

Basically, what I need is a sense of humour and probably confidence. I'm rather defensive about being in the supermarket, so I just want to get in and get out. I've found that the men are actually much better and more likely to leave me the f**k alone whilst being pleasant.

The other part is that the women might actually be flirting with me and the lack of confidence is killing any interest that may be there. It's unlikely, but stranger things have happened. Being completely honest and factual just renders you impersonal and dull.

Today, for example, I went to buy some cider (not there, but somewhere else locally). Neckbeard refused to serve me (I'm 25). My mum marches in, flashes my passport and he puts the stuff through, all the while all the women are smirking at me. This isn't fun; it's emasculating. I've told her that I don't like her doing this, but she refuses to listen, saying that if I did it, it would take forever.

Last edited by Tequila on 29 Jun 2013, 5:58 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Perhaps I'm just deeply uncomfortable and unconfident as it is. I still feel guilt from the hugely expensive weight loss surgery I had several years ago (that failed to help me lose weight).

If women are asking you if you're having a party just say 'Yes. Are you coming by?' And smile.

That's not a bad answer, actually. I like that. Something that gives me confidence.

yay!

I've thought of a few other things I could work in. I think whimsical responses could work best here.