When Your Environment Fails You

Post Reply New Topic

I think a lot of problems with kids and even adults with Autism and AS is that their environment has failed them. One issue would be that the parents denied or never realized their child was not neurologically wired like others and could become a significant issue because they did not know that. One parent might encourage them to adapt or fit in, still not realizing that fitting in would not be a success because it would not fix them. What a person with Autism needs is space, pacing, and invitation to activities that stimulate them and help combat shyness.

I had such severe shyness as I got older. I hated it. My parents fought all the time, and I would put my hands over my ears because it was too loud. Of course, if they hadn't been so busy pre-occupying themselves with drama they might have noticed I wasn't the "brilliant" little machine they wanted but also neurologically different. Maybe if they had realized that it could have stopped them from decided when I was fifteen to send me to boarding school to prevent me from getting bullied in an overcrowded highschool, and when I collapsed instead of taking time hired a shrink to label me with schizophrenia. Maybe people need to step back and spend more time pacing themselves too, like us, with us.

What can someone do when their environment fails them? What does it mean to suffer from Autism? What causes Autism?

First: doctors labeled it disorganized, affective etc. because I lack the same level of facial excitement as "normal" people
I obsessed over my labels and psychoanalyzed myself to death because I had nothing better to do and was convinced I was broken. I tried to fix my schizophrenia. No one understood how it affected me psychologically to carry this world on my shoulders. I suffered from childhood terrors, my mother attempted suicide multiple times and had extreme mood swings which later carried onto my label as well. So now I'm stuck with the diagnostic metaphor for a screwed up childhood.

Mood swings: Bipolar. Stress: PTSD & Psychotic symptoms, Attention Issues: ADHD

And none of it makes sense to ME. My environment is still failing me.

I think you raised a good point about not recognizing signs. My parents were very loving and supporting, but I was very clearly different than the kids around me and they just kept at it; trying me out in different groups, different activities and all sorts of things that, although I enjoyed, didn't really push me to do better socially. It was very stressful and I've found myself asking those same kinds of questions: "What if they caught on when I was younger?"
In terms of how to overcome your environment... It sounds like you're on your way to doing it. From the tone of your post, it sounds like some aspects of your childhood were very chaotic and you have a nice level of awareness about how it's impacted your functioning today. Recognizing that is a great step. And here you are today; alive, curious and still questioning and seeking meaning. That's a powerful place to be!

I appreciate the encouragement. It's still helpful to realize (even at 24) gawd I'm so old. The hard part is trying to teach myself the coping skills that I could have benefited from earlier on. It will prob take a huge burden off my shoulders to start working on the things I can control, not this absurd label I never could control.

One thing that has helped was learning to write poetry, but pacing myself has been hard to learn in most things I tend to get carried away and words can lose meaning (its hard to describe that) but I'm teaching myself to write fiction better.

Come on! I'm 29 over here!

[quote= "Kalinda"]One thing that has helped was learning to write poetry, but pacing myself has been hard to learn in most things I tend to get carried away and words can lose meaning (its hard to describe that) but I'm teaching myself to write fiction better.[/quote]

Yeah... when I wrote poetry I got so bogged down by vocab that I lost what I was actually trying to say... Writing poetry is great, though! Have you posted any in the Art, Writing and Music section?

Also, if you figure out the whole pacing thing, would you let me know? I have this whole "rapidly gained perfection" (where I have to be the best at my job ASAP) thing going on and it's driving me nuts!