It may be me??

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So i just got done reading some things, and i'm about in tears.

For -ever- i've thought im so weird, and noone ever likes me IRL, cuz im so weird.. and i just DONT UNDERSTAND anyone IRL...

and i was reading stuff and im like
HOLY FRICKING CRAP, these people have weird stuff just like.. for ex:

Weird stuff about me:
-I wear socks inside out, cuz i cant stand the seam touching my foot. (actualy i hate socks in general too)
-Back when clothes still had tags, i had to rip them out, couldnt stand them.
-I hate wearing pants or anything with long sleeves
-i hate certain textures of stuff to feel, for ex: those soft leathery couches / some types of cloth.. its just so nasty feeling.. and my mom would take a leather cloth and rub me with it just to piss me off >:/
- I compulsively turn lights off, i hate them being on
-I hate people that wear perfume/cologne, it smells nasty and makes me cough a ton
-Im so paranoid about everything, such as driving, i was so scared of driving that im guna die.. and its a bit better now, but im still scared..
-I have huge anxiety over weird stuff like talking to people or just even saying "hi", yet i'm perfectly fine if i have to give a speech or something.. Becuase the speech is rehearsed, i KNOW what im guna say.. where as "hi" is casual, i duno what will happen, so i just.......... cant do it.
-I love the feel of how watery-pouch food feels.. like some wet cat foods with chunks of meat in it.. or tuna in pouches.. i love to just feel it o_o
-I also love velvet.. and satiny things
-Im really bad at math, like to the point where I dont know my multiplication tables to save my life. I've been doing them al my life, yet i *STILL* cant do 3 x 4 without using my fingers.
-I love weird crap that noone else does, like sparkly dinosaurs + turtles.. like i have these sandbag-animals that are sparkly.. i think they are paperweights, i duno, but i just find them so incredibly awesome i cant NOT have them, lol.
-ALso those microbead squishy pillows just feel awesome
-im very jumpy, like if someone is SUPER quiet and sneaks past my awareness, ill freak out!
-Im aware of -everything-, like i always know whats going on around me.. i HAVE to know..
-I love to have pressure up against me, like.. even in dead summer ill sleep with a heavy blanket on, cuz i cant sleep easily without feeling that pressure... also i have to sleep on my side or stomache. its almost 100% impossible for me to sleep on my back.
-I hate most social norms and dont understand why people do them.. for ex: tanning and shaping your eyebrows... thats 100% useless IMO.
-im into video games, anime, computers, web design, graphics, etc.

-I work at WALMART! and i like it. i LOVE ORGANIZING THINGS ON THE SHELVES! and cutting fabric for people.. I love to hear peoples stories when they talk to me.. but i cant go and specifically talk to them I hate cleaning up broken class cuz im afraid ill get cut bad, so im always like SUPER OMEGA paraoid carefull around glass.. and today some lady broke a glass and she just picked up all the pieces in her HAND and i was like "OMG O____________O" no way i could do that ever.

-IM really good at managing people, and sticking to things.. Like every forum i get involved in, a TON i always end up admin/mod/whatever.. Like even in this MMO i play, i have the #1 guild in the whole game..... and ive been playing since oct 2007, but only had my guild for 10 months, and i shot up to 1st place after only 5 months......... (no cheating)

-I LOVE when people play with my hair.. its the most relaxing thing in the world, and it just feels amazing, and if someone did it long enough, i swear i'd fall asleep.

-Im asexual D:! (google it if you dont know)

-Stuff i like is always discontinued.. if i find a food i like, they automatically discontinue it. .or a brand of clothing.. or something like that. I always like oddball stuff usually..

-My handwriting sucks royally.. I mean if i take the UBEr time to make it look nice, its nice, but in general its just horridly bad..

-I constantly pick at my fingernails >_<~ i duno why, i just have to keep them very short, or i pick when im nervous or upset or whatever

-I dont get mad, i see it at pointless.. I might get frustrated or irritated, but not -mad-

-I cry a lot. Even somewhat randomly.. Like when i went to get my blood drawn 2 years ago.. i was so afraid i started bawling.. then i was like.. oh that didnt hurt so bad.. and im like feeling embarrassed cuz it seemed so silly.. i duno why i cried, it just happened.. same thing happens when i used to talk to my mom about periods and stuff, i couldnt spit it out cuz its too embarrasing so i just cried and cried.

-Ive always been a loner type of person, yet i CRAVE human contact, i crave having a significant other or best friend, yet i feel like i hate most people cuz they all seem so shallow, and so obsessed over trivial things that have zero signigicance to me (such as tanning) Its weird i know......

-WHen im upset, or anxiety or anything like that i compulsively clean.. Like ill just madly pick up the surrounding area, even if its mostly already picked up, ill rearrage it, or even put things in the wrong spot, cuz i duno i just have to pick up >_<~



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So thats some random weird stufff about me

do you guys think i might have aspergers?

I mean i used to go to a psychologist/psychiatrist and i used to be on seroquel/abilify/lamictal (but it did nothing but make me tired)

I mentioned maybe i might have some sort of aspergers thing (Cuz my friend who was similar to me had it) and she said "of course you dont, theres no way"

But she always was STUPID.. she said things like "so i heard your mom was in the hospital" Um NO, my mom DIED and never was in any hospital.. plus she'd just get everything mixed up and answer her cell phone in the middle of sessions and stuff -.-


So anyway, if it does sound like me, where do i go for help? is there any kind of medication? Or therapy? or anything? Diagnosis or anything?


thankies :O

~Cait

Tags suck. I'm glad a lot of clothes don't have them anymore.


Ditto. Nasty stuff. Especially the Axe crude. Um, yuck.


I've got a few of them down, up to a point. But otherwise, I fail at math, too.


There are people who don't like sparkly things? Blasphemy. Sparkly things are awesome.


If I'm thinking of the right thing, then yeah, they are. I have one. I like to squish it with my foot.


Ditto & ditto. I need my wolf comforter blanket, or I just cannot sleep.


Eh, that's not weird though. Plenty people into all of those.


My dad works at Wal-Mart. (personally, a job like that would drive me nuts. I can't stand shopping too well, as it is. The shelves? They're always soooo messy! When I go shopping with someone, I typically find myself freaking out and trying to straighten things, even if just a little.)




You may be an aspie, you may not. Stick around for a bit, read up on some info and such.

*high fives* Me too.

I do feel the same about many of the things you've posted.

Welcome home, Cait.

Welcome to WP!

D;


ANOTHER BIG thing i forgot to mention

is

I HAVE HUGE issue with food textures o_o.
like i dont eat a ton of stuff


like anything with onions or lettuce or a ton of squishy-type foods (But like pudding and jello are fine)

Cuz it just makes me gag for years XD



but yeah ill hang around a bit.

duno how much ill post, im very busy XD

OH GOD SOCK SEAMS I HATE THEM TOO. I once had a pair of socks that had the seam right under the toes. drove me absolutely NUTS. I couldn't wear them.

Some clothes I have still have tags, and yes I must rip them out or they itch. Some cause a rash.


Mostly I'm the opposite.

Ugh, your mom sounds evil. I like leather, except when I stick to it while wearing shorts. Which is why I don't like wearing shorts...but yeah some fabric I can't stand. I go to furniture stores and wonder why some couches are covered in horrible coarse or itchy or just plain nasty fabric.


Me too, though my reasons are for sensitivity to bright light.


Some perfumes I don't mind. It doesn't make me cough, but some I can't stand.


I'm more scared if I'm the passenger, not the driver. At least when I'm the driver I'm in control.


I know the feeling. Though for me it's mostly the opposite. I HATE making speeches. It's an effort to talk (stupid Lyme).


yeah those are great


Me too...which explains my collection of velvety/velour fabric...and masses of soooooooft stuffed animals.


My problem is remembering the multiplication tables XD (again, stupid Lyme).


OMG I Love sandbag animals!


Yup ^_^


EEEK! I'm not jumpy, but I can utter a growl if someone surprises me.


Oh yeah. I'm curious as hell, too. Though finding out what's going on isn't always easy.


Wow, and I thought I was the only one that could not sleep on my back! If I am lying on my back I have an intense urge to roll over. Like my body's telling me "Wrong side up!" Sleeping on my side can be awkward, though I do it if I can.

I must have that pressure thing too because I can't sleep without -some- kind of blanket or sheet covering me, even in summer.



Oh that and more. I'm annoyed by people doing a bunch of things, like setting the table with the fork on the left, even though this is 'proper', I'm severely annoyed by the inane question "How are you?" (but mostly at my family because they know better than to ask me that), or when people become Captain Obvious and go on and on about how something is delicious (even when it's really not that good), or that it's a nice sunny day (I'm not blind!), and for some reason watching people eat soup or chili with bread REALLY annoys me. Or when someone uses a fork or bread to 'clean' a plate. The fork is worse because it makes a scraping noise that I cannot stand. And they wonder why I refuse to eat in the kitchen at the table.


Me too! But the web design/graphics thing was put on hold when I got sick. (stupid lyme)


Oh I'm super omega paranoid careful too. The sound of breaking glass is very annoying! I'm very paranoid about carelessness with fire as well. If I go into a place such as a toy store, thrift store, or an antiques store that has toys, sometimes I rearrange the toys so they're 'comfortable' or better displayed.


I'm ambivalent about organizing people, and a horrible procrastinator.


I'm the opposite. I HATE it when people play with my hair. Mainly because they usually find a knot or something and end up hurting me.


Was that way for a long time.


I definitely feel your pain there. From the cotton cableknit tights I loved as a child, to various foods and clothes, the list goes on. I got really upset when they stopped carrying Campbells Chicken and Stars Soup in Canada.


Oh man I have stopped handwriting altogether. I don't even care. I print EVERYTHING now. The only time I use 'cursive' is to sign my name. My hands started hurting and thus handwriting is painful, but printing is less so.


I must keep mine trimmed very short and I always have to remove hangnails.


FOr the most part that's true for me, although if I'm being treated unfairly I will become furious.


I used to cry all the time until I went on the antidepressant Tofranil (Imipramine) from the early 80s until 1997. Random crying is starting to come back though. But not like it used to. Usually it's associated with some form of undirected affection-anxiety.


I feel exactly the same way.


I"m the opposite. If I get upset I want to sleep...or go on the computer!




I would say without a doubt you are somewhere on the spectrum. If you can find a Neuropsychologist they may be able to at least diagnose you and point you at treatment options if available.

I have major issues with food texture, too. I've very weird about onions, as well. I will eat them on a cheeseburger, but not IN (as in cooked in the meat) a cheeseburger. I think it's the texture of cooked onions, because I like cold, crisp onion.

I am still amazed that nobody (outside of other Aspies) seems to care about texture. I just get blank stares or nonsensical statements like "but it adds flavor". I always respond with "so does dog s**t".

What about bright lights or certain sounds? Are you sensitive to that stuff?

when i was in elementary the chalkboard just made me feel so bad.

luckily they had dry erase boards in middle + high..

like even just holding the chalk and not even using it.. was so gross..

but then to put it to the board was like ugh, i hated it with a passion.



and i do hate bright lights, esp. when i have a headache or whatever.. i often have the brightness on my PC turned WAY down ( i have to have it up whe i play my game in order to see at night though ~_~)

and i got transitions in my glasses, and i love it.. its not blinding outside anymore. also with glasses.. i love glasses.. i think people look a ton better with them.. and i feel so ugleh without them (I mean more ugly than normal LOL)

also i HATE driving at night because of headlights coming twords me, they seem very blinding to me and i cant see where im at on the road, and i have to rely on the white lines on the side or else ill go off the road >_<~


man this one time they redid the roads. didnt paint white lines on the side.. i went way far off the road when people came close to me CUZ I COULDNT SEE, and one time even ended up in dirt, and i was so scared..



but sounds.. not too many bother me really bad.

but 1 sound i love is cat purring..

my one cat snoop, before she died, i recorder her purring, and i really wanna just burn it onto a CD so its nothing but 60mins of cat purr and listen

its so calming..

also snoop would climb up on my back when i was sleeping, and purr her face off and massage my back while she purred. I duno why she did it, but i loved it and it put me to sleep so well

after she died, i didnt get to sleep before midnight for about 2 years :/ and i switched back to taking seroquel to sleep.. and then after i lost my insurance (when i turned 18) i used natural remedies (Melatonin) the best thing ive found so far!


i still dont sleep too well sometimes :/

i miss her ;_;.


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edit: whooops, i think i shoulda posted this in "Getting to know each other" insted of here.. sowi >_<~

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edit again: firefly.wikkii.c om/index.php/Aspergers <- i showed my dad that
and i said "DOESNT THAT SOUND LIKE ME!??" and
he said "well prolly about 60%, but im like 40%, but you know what i did? i accepted it and adapted, and just grew the hell out of it"

so sensitive

</3.

I want my oat flakes. Wah Wah Wah. Really, I'm not much of a cereal eater, but I really loved Post Oat Flakes and they don't make them anymore. I've tried every other kind of oat flake cereal that's out there, and nothing tastes the same.

THE MOST GHETTO BUMP OF ALL TIME...


But I finally got diagnosed today!

After 5 therapists and like 10 doctors!

He was like "I'm an aspergers specialist, and I have no doubt in my mind thats what you have. Your tendencies aren't to the -EXTREME noticeably, and thats why everyone has told you otherwise"


*Cries tears of grape juice!*

PLEASE contact me by PM and tell me you doctor's contact info.

Also please describe in detail what the evaluation process involved and how long it all took.

:3 ok sent ya a PM