Guide To Life: Don't Be Afraid To "BE YOURSELF" ! !

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"The A.S. Wonder Years"
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EPISODE # 1: "Pilot"
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When I was in Elementary School and Jr. High, I hated the fact that I had a disability: Asperger's & Tourette's Syndrome (vocal tics) -- I knew almost nothing about my disability and didn't care, either!! !!

I always hung out with the 'normal kids' who I knew didn't have a disability, even though I was taken out of my 'regular classes' and put into 'special ed classes' for about an hour every single day. It seemed obvious to me that the other kids in my special ed classes had NO friends at all -- even if they had friends, they were all other kids who also had disabilities as well.

I was living a decent social-life throughout my life at school, trying my best to 'pretend to be normal'. I never told any of my 'normal' friends that I even had a disability.

My friends would often ask me, "Why do you stutter when you talk, Erik?"

"I don't know...!" I would reply, trying to brush it off and change the subject. Thankfully, they would say nothing more and start to talk about something else.

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EPISODE #2: "When Worlds Collide"
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I can remember that my friends and I used to sometimes crack jokes about the 'special ed' kids behind their backs, try our best to ignore them, and would stay far away from them. We would call them "ret*ds" or "tards" (for short).

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EPISODE #3: "The Ties That Bind"
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The pattern continued on throughout Jr. High...

In high school, I pretty much 'grew out' of my Tourette's. When all of the other 'special ed kids' were playing their 'Adapted Sports' (floor hockey, softball, etc.) for the school team, I joined other school teams that 'normal' kids would play for. I did this for the following reasons:

1. I loved sports and wanted to try something brand new.
2. It would be a great way to bond with the 'normal' friends that I already knew.
3. I wished to make some new friends.
4. I didn't wish (or prefer for that matter) to be around peers that I didn't feel were 'normal'.

I joined the boys' tennis and co-ed cross-country skiing teams. They didn't gradually "cut" players during the first few weeks to see who would play best for the team and didn't stress me out. Sure -- I did have a lot of fun, and did indeed make many new friends. The friendships with the friends I had already known before grew tremendously strong!

Although not exactly an 'A' student, but with a 'B' average, I successfully graduated from high school. I had accomplished A LOT! It was time to move on with my life...

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EPISODE #4: "Broken Hearts and Burgers"
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After graduating from high school, I didn't have the time to keep up with all of my high school friends. I kept a few of my high school friends and left the rest behind to gather dust deep in the crevasses of my memories.

My 'special ed' IEP from high school recommended that I attend a 'transition school' for a few years. I fought my parents about it and absolutely refused to go.

It was no use...my parents would not change their minds, no matter how hard I pleaded and complained.

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EPISODE #5: "Independence Day"
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I started at the transition center...

It was located inside of a remote and desolate strip mall not far from my house. The interior was small and cramped. It took a few weeks for me to get used to that ditsy school.

Slowly, but surely, I began to make friends -- a few at first...then many others. I began to actually have fun! The friendships I made grew ever stronger day by day.

I ended up graduating a few days after my 21st birthday when the current school year ended. I was glad to leave the place, but kept 4 or 5 of the friends I had made there. I learned a lot more about my disability and the disabilities of others!

Now, I try my best not to make fun of other people with disabilities. I often hang out with those friends and we remain close even to this very day!!...

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"CREDITS"
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It's really NOT worth the trouble of pretending to be what you are NOT! !

DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF!!

Thanks for the post, TennisFanatic. This made me feel good, especially your conclusion.

I like the conclusion of your story. Your story is very well-written.

The story is one of the better ones.

But there is one question that is uncompleted. If pretending to be who you are not such a bad idea all the time, why do people do it, if it ALWAYS end in disappointment? Doesn’t nature give humans this ability as a way to survive socially? Such questions, like many others need to be understood scientifically.

A persons personality does change over time and is not immutable, people around you can have great influence on you. Despite the fact that people with AS usually time more time as they don’t have much mirror neurons to copy other people’s behaviour.

100 % agree. Don' t mind what other people think, their point of view is NOT (it just CAN'T be) your point of view. You CAN (should) trust your istinct.

My instinct is to break this beotches wrist who is tapping me in the back like an ape at work.





but I know what you mean. great effort active, and I liked the play on font and color-alot!

As for as being an Aspie, I am very happy about being me. And I would prefer to be me an, aspie, then to be an NT at the bottom of the social pecking order, a lesser NT.

I can't speak for all NTs, but I know a few and they seem to be pretty socialable...

nice read!

Ok so being myself has created all sorts of problems. Fitting in with those that you live with requires compromise, compromise for me means playing the social game.....interact, be interested, comply, follow the rules (not that everyone else does), respond, react and on and on it goes.
Not being myself means I have to particiapate in other peoples schedules, wants and needs. Role playing if you like. But that gets very tiring, very draining and brings very little in the way of rewards because once you start participating you have to keep doing it. If you cease to do it so that you can be you then their world falls apart and they attack you.
So now I am going back to the shrink to be told that I have to conform, have to participate if I want to get along. Go along to get along.

So there goes me.....sorry no room for you in reality.