Denial? Official Diagnosis?

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So, I last posted here in 2011. Between then and now, I've moved but I've managed to convince myself I definitely don't have AS until recently.

First off, I've moved to a new school, and I've done this a lot throughout my childhood. The longest I've stayed in one town has been about 3 years. I've been at this school all of junior year and now I'm entering my senior year and preparing for college. But it occurred to me recently this summer is the first summer in the longest time where I've had a consistent friend with me. This realization, along with the fact that I've been really struggling with eye contact, even going so far as to buy a pair of mirrored sunglasses so people don't realize I'm not making eye contact with them, triggered me to re-evaluate the possibility I have some form of Aspergers.

I re-took the AS quiz and got a 155/200 and an NT of 51 (this means I've actually gone up since the last time I took it). I actually took it 2 or 3 times and tried to answer as "NT" as I could, or "how I reacted to situations on a good day when I don't feel too anxious", but every time I took the test again It was heavily weighted to the aspie side, with nothing veering even close to the NT side. At this I decided to face facts and decide I probably most definitely have aspergers- official diagnosis pending. (Of course I do change on this with how I do or do not react to things)

So I don't know if it's useful to even go to a doctor with this because it's like- how will it change anything? I won't get any extra help at school, and even if I did, I've got one more year left.

I really just don't know what to do. I'm really stressing out about this and I don't know why. Like minor things will make me change my opinion on it. "Oh I understood that body language, this person wasn't amused/ was annoyed so I definitely don't have it" vs. "I really just spent the last ten minutes in line stressing out on the best possible way to hand the cashier my money, what to say to her, recieve the money without my hand touching her's in a way that's awkward or creepy, man I definitely have it" are thoughts that were in my head not just a few minutes ago.

If it's "official," will you be relieved? A different person? Better able to concentrate on school and less on cashiers? Only you know.

Do yourself a favour and talk to your doctor. You may just have trouble with anxiety, social phobia, etc and if you get some help now you can save yourself years of agony. Keep in mind most GP doctors are crap with matters of the mind so try to insist on a referal.

best of luck,