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Kirstie04
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21 Jul 2013, 3:16 pm

I've read some posts relating to this but I wanted to share my experience to see if anyone could shed some light on it and/or relate?
Basically it's something I have done for as long as I can remember. I spend a great deal of time in my own little world, having conversations and almost kind of acting out situations with imaginary people. I am aware these people etc. are not really there, I cannot physically see or hear them. It is something that I spend A LOT of time doing, like 99% of the time. When there are other people around I am far too aware of them noticing that even if I wanted to I couldn't act as I do on my own, though when it is going on in my head, it does sometimes slip out and I have to pretend I'm sort of thinking out loud or something (if I've not been able to stop at least mouthing something) though sometimes, when I am with family, I think they kind of know I'm a bit weird and I just sort of accept they saw me doing it. When I'm walking the dog though, I like to take routes where I'm confident that no one is around so I can do it more openly but obviously it is embarrassing when I do bump into someone.
The thing is though, I can have very in-depth conversations by myself and I think I am capable of this with other people, I just find it very difficult with other people and even when I am able, they never seem to want to know. I think that my social skills such as reading social cues, facial expressions, listening to what others have to say etc. are fine but i think I find that I am always so stuck in my own head, analysing the situation etc. that it can feel hard work and tiring.



stellaaaaaa
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21 Jul 2013, 3:20 pm

this is normal for AS; i have done for years. it's like practicing



Willard
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21 Jul 2013, 3:27 pm

I have to prepare for any conversation in which I may have to argue or fight to make a point, because in the moment, my mind gets overwhelmed by the stress and stalls and I forget the important points I needed to make to establish my case. By the time I get to the actual dialogue, I have to have my major points memorized, or I'll just end up mute and unable to refute the other person's claims and it will be over before its started. :oops: :cry:

I don't know if more neurotypical people have as much trouble with that as I do (they don't generally seem to), but I do feel that for me it is directly related to my Autism.



HopefulFlower
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21 Jul 2013, 3:36 pm

It's a really common AS thing. I have done it ALL my life. I remember having Shaggy from Scooby-Doo as my big brother when I was 3-7 (He came and went). Now it's mostly anime, dreamworks, and disney characters. I rarely come up with my own accept for myself-you know like a character that you role play as. I basically live in this world and always have. And these characters comfort me when I'm upset. They are my friends. It's my private world though I don't share it with people-never have-and sometimes I use it to my advantage-to inspire writing (Called fanfiction because my world is based off of other peoples works-I've always enjoyed other peoples works more than my own because it's more surprising and you don't know how it's gonna go). When I let things slip out as I act things out in my head. I cough to cover lol.

Actually now that I think about it sometimes I come up with normal people I make up all of my own.


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Kirstie04
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21 Jul 2013, 4:06 pm

Do 'normal' people do this though?



serenaserenaserena
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21 Jul 2013, 4:27 pm

I don't spend 99% of time doing this, but I do this a good 60% I believe.



savvyidentity
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21 Jul 2013, 4:28 pm

I play some complex scenarios out in my head sometimes but usually I do this in the way that gives me better clarity to things and maybe play it out until it sounds right. So if I have an idea about something it generally goes through that process so I can eliminate things that sound a bit stupid. I don't know if it's normal or not though



Willard
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21 Jul 2013, 4:29 pm

The only other person I've ever known who specifically mentioned doing it was an ex who was diagnosed with OCD. I've seen elderly people talking to themselves, but they don't seem to be preparing for an upcoming conversation so much as reliving one from the past.

Traditionally, neurotypicals have considered people who talk to themselves to be insane, or at least senile. :oops:



Sharkgirl
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21 Jul 2013, 4:52 pm

I do this constantly it helps me to organise myself and what I need to achieve step by step. It also helps me process stressful events like when I am overwhelmed and lots of things have happened to throw me off I need time to work through what has occurred, how I feel about it and what to do now sometimes I replay situations over and over in my head for days it takes so long to process and move on from unexpected and or stressful stuff. Changes in my routine cause me to need time to sit and work out how to proceed from here. I had a big weekend with a friends housewarming, change of routine with different expectations and a week that is mostly night events coming up which I can't get out of. I have called I sick to work today cause I need to sort my head out. I will be spending the day talking to myself working out why I am feeling so bad, how to get back on track usually by cleaning the house and organising myself with checklists for the week then trying to work on a plan so this doesn't happen again.


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Filipendula
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21 Jul 2013, 5:00 pm

Kirstie04 wrote:
Do 'normal' people do this though?


In lieu of a full-on NT (so far), you can see from my signature that I'm a fair way in that direction and function pretty much neurotypically as far as most people are concerned. However, what you're all describing does sound a little bit like something I do.

Namely, my internal monologue never talks to me as I think is usually described, but is me talking to other people who I imagine are in dialogue with me (though exactly how they respond doesn't come into it). These are always real people I know or else representative character concepts - I never create imaginary friends or anything so far as I'm aware. Part of it is practising for future conversations I guess, though I do it automatically rather than as a conscious choice to build a script. I also do sometimes repeat past conversations but with a view to saying all the things I wish I'd said and never managed. A huge number of the conversations I'd like to have in real life only ever happen in my head.

What I don't do is actually act anything out and I'm very unlikely to voice anything out loud though I might whisper under my breath occasionally. I most often do this when walking to work and just hope people aren't seeing weird expressions on my face or something.

Does this sound at all similar to what's been described already? I find it hard to compare or be sure exactly since the acting bit doesn't sound familiar to me. Because I'm in that grey area between NT and AS, I'm always interested to understand the AS experience better and know how closely it fits my own, but I hope I can help to provide something of an NT perspective too.


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hanyo
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21 Jul 2013, 5:01 pm

I've done that a lot but I don't do it out loud. I do it in my head.



Kirstie04
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21 Jul 2013, 5:11 pm

I hardly ever do it in relation to real life situations, as in practising conversations etc. It's mostly made up stuff. I do often sit and 'talk things through', sort of like my own personal counselling session :-/ but mostly it's made up situations/conversations. When it comes to trying to talk in the way in do to myself with other people, it is incredibly difficult. Sometimes it's like the words just aren't there and when I manage to find something, it's like someone disconnects the wire from my brain to my mouth. I don't know if some of it is maybe trying to find the 'right' thing to say, which if course is much easier when I'm talking to myself since I can just start again and there is no one on the other end to judge or anything like that.



chlov
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21 Jul 2013, 5:56 pm

I frequently get lost in my daydreaming. I think this is another reason why I often lost track of time and things around me and I can't just hear or see what happens around me.

I think this is because of attention deficit disorder in my case (I'm diagnosed with it).

I also hear voices that call my name or comment my actions, but I just ignore them and never answer them. I heard them a lot more when I was a child, I hear them less now.
I think this is because I tend to confuse noises with voices.



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21 Jul 2013, 5:58 pm

Kirstie04 wrote:
Do 'normal' people do this though?

'Normal' schizophrenics often have discussions with people that aren't really there.



Raz0rscythe
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21 Jul 2013, 6:13 pm

When I'm left to my own devices, I can quite often just sit there and think. And think, and think, and think. I play out whole conversations (which never seem to pan out the right way with real people), or even just debate with myself. It actually works really well for me as a way of solving problems and clearly thinking, even if it looks a little odd to watch.
I tend to do it in bed almost every night, which is one of the main reasons I don't sleep much...


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Filipendula
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21 Jul 2013, 7:02 pm

Raz0rscythe wrote:
When I'm left to my own devices, I can quite often just sit there and think. And think, and think, and think. I play out whole conversations (which never seem to pan out the right way with real people), or even just debate with myself. It actually works really well for me as a way of solving problems and clearly thinking, even if it looks a little odd to watch.
I tend to do it in bed almost every night, which is one of the main reasons I don't sleep much...


Yep, all this!

Is it a conscious decision to do it though or does it just happen?

I have both. If I'm pottering along the street it happens automatically and some other times too e.g. if I'm watching TV or typing something, I'll suddenly realise I've phased out and am conversing with no-one in my head again. At night though, I often choose to do it intentionally since it's a useful opportunity to think without interruption and can also be quite meditative even if I don't actually get to sleep because of it. However there's a good chance I'd find myself doing it anyway even if I didn't choose it.


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AQ: 32 (up to 37 when answering instinctively); EQ: 21 - 24; SQ: 31
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RDOS Aspie score: 115/200; NT score: 79/200