Mild Autism + Highly Sensitive Person

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I'm wondering if this combination leads to a very unique presentation of symptoms and struggles that differ a bit from the standard ones seen in the majority of AS/HFA individuals. If the naturally more emotional and empathetic HSP traits can compensate or overpower the more stereotypical AS personality profile of being very concrete, logical, and black-and-white. Yet greater awareness of social nuances and greater emotional excitability lead to increased over stimulation and anxiety in social situations that interferes with the ability to communicate effectively and connect with others.

I'm curios here because in another thread it was suggested that AS and HSP must be on opposite sides of human spectrum. That doesn't make sense to me because I clearly fit the symptoms of both. This leads to paradoxical mix of opposites. I feel like I need deeper emotional connection to others to be happy, yet my AS makes the process of showing emotion correctly and responding well to others' emotions more difficult. I also feel this need for novelty and new experiences (HSP) clashing with my need for routine and familiarity (AS). I need to share my interests with others and please others (HSP), yet I'm too rigid in my ways to adapt enough to connect (AS). I need to have a social life with deeper connections to be happy (HSP), yet stress drains me so much that I always gravitate towards isolation (AS). For me it seems like all these contradictions are a horrible curse.

Anyone else relate or have thoughts on this?

Last edited by marshall on 04 Jun 2013, 9:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The definition of Asperger's is so close to Highly Sensitive that the author of the book on HSP had to state outright that she wasn't simply talking about Aspies! Whoever told you they are far apart on the spectrum doesn't understand either one or the other of those labels. The idea that Aspies don't have feelings and long for emotional relationships is as false as the "Aspies have no empathy" canard.

Well, judging from common personalities on this site it seems like "Aspies" can be divided into two different types. There's the highly sensitive type and there's the blunt "logical" type. Both types may be emotionally sensitive inside, but the former have more cognitive empathy and are less black-and-white than the latter. It seems these two personality types clash like oil and water on here.

I totally relate. I've no diagnosis, but I've read an awful lot about AS and HSP and relate to both, equally. My daughter has a diagnosis of AS and I think she fits the criteria of HSP as well. W're both extremely emotional. I'm coming to realise the reason that I have such problems with eye contact. I can read emotions very well and, if I'm telling someone something, I don't want to know their feelings about it, until I've finished a sentence or two. Having to think of what I'm saying, whilst incorporating what I think they're thinking, is just too much, so I block out the emotional stuff and stick with the facts. I'm happy to go back to the emotional stuff afterwards. This may make me come across as emotionless, when the opposite is true.

Marshall you could have been describing me!

I often feel like a split personality as my more outgoing side says Yes! to ideas/projects and then the quieter logical side freaks out at all the details and puts the brakes on.

I want to meet with people for chats and have coffee and travel, but then my AS kicks in and my sensory input overloads and I end up under my weighted blanket with headphones freaking out!

Thank you for making me feel less alone.

I am the social-emotional hyposensitive kind, so it is hard for me to understand the highly sensitive kind of person. I don't think that I am as easily overwhelmed by social interactions as hsp, and I have little desire to have the interactions.

Sometimes I wish I was more like you. I would be more motivated to do things alone and focus on my special interests by myself without getting bored and lonely. I can do okay on my own for stints up to several months, but after a year or so of being isolated and having no close friends I find myself getting severely depressed. For me it's sort of a trap when I get overwhelmed and isolate myself because I think I lose motivation without occasionally being energized by others. I definitely don't need as much interaction as the typical NT, but I need some or I get depressed. Finding the right balance is just so hard. I think I'm learning that I need to take more deliberate action to get my social needs met because I can't form relationships the normal NT way through chit-chat and casual acquaintances.

Yes, but you seem to be able to have more hobbies than me. I don't know what's wrong with me but ever since the stress burnout of graduate school I just can't seem to make myself do things by myself. I don't even like going to the store and buying food or cooking for myself. It's like everything becomes this horrible chore and I have to pry myself away from my couch and my computer, with agonizing difficulty. I know I wasn't that way as an undergraduate because I actually had friends and somehow that gave me more energy and motivation for life.

Thoughts: you do seem empathetic and sensitive, to me, in a positive sense.

Other thoughts: It's certainly possible to be an individual who does not fit the widely known 'molds' or 'labels' or 'titles.' Anything that has those today once was not known or not considered to exist by 'science' so the same could well be true today.

In short everyone is different.

Social anxiety seems to be a popular diagnosis these days so maybe you are not alone in having the particular traits you have listed.

Maybe the trick is to find some similar birds if not birds of a feather. People who would be sensitive to your personal boundaries and not push, etc.

ETA:
Clicky.

I think that the HFASD + HSP combination is common amongst autistic adults on Internetz. Many online autistic people seem to be good at writing about their emotions and mentioning emotions from eberryday life and having a lot of social-emotional understanding, all of which I lack. But there are plenty of autistic people who don't participate in forums or have blogs, so they might be less HSP-like.

I can relate to what you described.....and this is something that I've come to realize over the past year in particular. As I become older (I'm 26) it feels like I'm becoming better at reading, or becoming more sensitive to, other people. After my first session with MDMA this aspect of sensitivity became very pronounced. But I still fail at responding to what I pick up on in the moment because there's so much for me to process.


When in conversation, if I make eye contact or catch a quick solid glance of a persons face, I almost immediately freeze up/stop talking for a brief moment because it feels like there is so much emotional/body language information coming at me. I can't process all of that as well as continue with my train of thought. I pause while talking already because of my flow of thought, which is almost purely visual/conceptual, I have to translate my thoughts from visual/conceptual and into verbal/words. That causes me to pause often while talking or have slow speech at times as I grasp for the proper words to use.....



I feel like I often come across as emotionless and disconnected, when I'm actually having a rather rich internal experience (many feelings/emotions I have no words for), I just can't convey or show that I am. I may appear disconnected in the physical moment, but internally I'm immersed in a whole lot...Also, I'm not great at reacting to the emotions/body language coming at me, or I do so in ways people don't understand/pick up on...And I don't have much outwardly display of emotion unless it gets me really happy and uplifted or really down and bummed (The occasional feeling of manic excitement or when I feel absolutely content, might make me seem lighter on my feet, move around/stim more, whistle, make random quiet quirky noises....or when feeling down, shutting down and going inward more so than I am already). My outwardly expression of these two polar opposites probably appears rather subtle to most people, but internally the feeling/experience is very drastic and intense.


I don't think my friends have any idea that if I'm wondering about whistling/humming, that's a sign I'm in a good mood .

I would call myself a sensitive, socially anxious person. I have trouble speaking up, and I take time in processing mine and others emotions. I do end up burning out rather easily. I do like connecting with people, though it can be very difficult for me.

Also have impulse issues.

Yea. I don't fully get it though. I seem to have good social-emotional understanding on the internet but sometimes in real life I feel like an idiot despite my above average intelligence and intuition. With typical NT banter I get lost and often don't know what the heck people are talking about. I'll try to interject something I think is funny and it will just go over their head or they'll pretend not to hear it. Then someone else will say a single word and everyone will find it ohhh sooo hilarious. WTF is going on? This is the reason I can't deal with random groups. It's like they have their own special clique lingo and inside humor specifically invented to shut me out and make me uncomfortable. Either that or I'm trying to tell a story and I get interrupted, then instead of asking to hear the rest when the interruption is over, they go and start talking about something different as if they don't even care, even though it should be obvious to any non-idiot that I wasn't finished. So is the reason for this the fact that I don't have enough "soshul skillz" to join the group? In the past what I've done is try to listen to their attitude and humor and mimic it. I get accepted into the group this way but feel like a fraud because I'm not really being myself. This is tiresome and unfulfilling to me. This is why I don't "join a club" to help with loneliness and boredom. I find things easier on the Internetz.

Last edited by marshall on 04 Jun 2013, 10:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't have impulse issues but I get a bit bitter and testy with people who I don't think are listening to me when I try to speak. It's like getting a little mad is the only way I can compensate from being bowled over by loud mouth NTs. Otherwise they just don't seem to care that they're shutting me out. My processing of verbal information is slow so the only way I can get a word in and be listened to is to get more aggressive and interrupt an annoying loud mouth if I have to. I just don't like interaction that feels more like a competition than interaction. I seem to process emotions and non-verbal cues quickly believe it or not. It's actually the verbal stuff that I'm slow at processing, especially when there's background noise. This is why I seem to be able to interact better with more immature people. Their speech is simpler and it doesn't take me as long to process it.

I relate to this. I'm a very right-brained person.

Yes, I have no doubt I fit within this profile. I have struggled with a lot of anxiety over the years and sometimes I react when I get criticized. I let my emotions get the best of me too often so I am known to yell way too much. That has been a struggle for me as my reactions are to loudly express myself, as fast as I can. Though that did not affect strangers as I was the silent type who did not talk much, it affected my relationships with my family and people who I felt more comfortable with. So my behavior is at its worst the more comfortable I get.

I have always been a natural left-handed person. I have heard that left-handed people are more in tune with their emotions. That and my PDD-NOS may explain some of my behavior.