Do you constantly think about how others see you?

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It has just struck me how pathologically extreme I've become and wondering if others can relate...

I am CONSTANTLY thinking / worrying about how others see me......to the point where I'm monitoring my body language and eye-contact.....and thinking that people are watching me!

For example, if in a roomful of others, I'm very careful of what body language gestures I use, what I say, the tone of voice I use, and how I respond.........and I'm constantly worrying / thinking that someone in the room is watching and judging me!

It has reached the point of absurdity........even minor eye glances, how I cross my legs, even if I shift my body a little......I am constantly thinking someone is watching or interpreting every minute action of mine and discerning whether by that action they're thinking I'm weird or psycho or something

I'm constantly monitoring my every movement and response to cater to what others want to hear.....to appear the most likeable to others.

I guess this is a defense mechanism because I always feel like my social interactions are on the brink of disaster if not for my careful monitoring!

I don't think everyone is really watching me but I'm constantly monitoring myself as if they are....as if they are scrutinizing every movement of my body....every comment I make.

It has reached a point of absurdity. It is like I'm no longer there in the room but watching from above, trying to make the very best impression. The extent of this self-monitoring has become pathological....I always have this imaginary (or real) 3rd person who is "watching". Actually, it's never imaginary - it is always someone that is present in the room.

There is never a moment when I'm responding completely naturally. I am always "monitoring" my response based on the real or imagined scrutiny of someone else nearby..

Can anyone relate to this??

It truly depends which person it is, as the word "others" can refer to nearly any person. When it comes to strangers, I honestly dont care how they see me but when it comes to friends or family I care about it a little more. Generally, I dont really care about it, since people's opinion about myself doesnt matter to me

When I was a kid, I worried about how I acted when I was alone, because I thought I was being watched. By whom? No idea. But I thought about it a lot.

Now that I'm older, I find myself less inclined to think about being watched when I'm alone, but I am overly conscious of being out among people - I think way too hard about my actions, my facial expressions, my body language, my tone of voice.

It's exhausting, isn't it?

I'm trying to not care, to just be myself, but it's really hard.

<-- See that hardhat? That's much I care what 'other' people think of me.

I feel this way more with strangers than I do among people I know.

Like when I'm in public I'm afraid to drink. I can drink in restaurants, but I mean when I'm out in the street or on a bus or something. I feel that any slight movement from me will attract attention and then I fear I may be watched whilst having a drink, and thinking of it makes my throat close up a little bit and I fail to swallow automatically, which makes me choke. Also I'm always afraid to sneeze in public too, in case it goes back up as I'm about to do it and make a funny noise.

I see that average NTs have this ability to be self-aware of their actions and base their lives on how others view them, but if they want to do something that is not weird or embarrassing but may attract attention they can block it out. Most probably prefer general attention anyway, where as somebody nervous and shy like me prefer to not have any attention, unless it's somebody I know.

yes

I am not always this self-conscious about what I am doing but sometimes I am, especially at work and around my boss, where I have to socialize with strangers. I too feel like I am watching myself from above and that I'm not really present in my body somehow-- like I am a puppeteer directing all of my movements. It's gotten worse to some extent since I discovered that I was autistic. I'm constantly scared now that I am screwing something up and don't even know it, or that people are going to find out through the way that I interact that I am messed up somehow. I always wonder things like "am I talking autistically? am I walking autistically?" now whereas before it was just "am I talking weird? am I walking right?"

I generally think about it, yeah. I tend to think people don't like me unless they explicitly and repeatedly state otherwise.

For the most part, no.

Most of the time, I am never thinking about how I look to others. Maybe I just learned a long time ago that caring too much is exhausting, maybe I just don't deem such things to be important...I don't know. I seem to live my life *blissfully* unaware of how I appear to others.

For "special" occasions, such as a job interview, I have to force myself to be more aware of how I appear, act, etc., and it really is draining to do so. It is truly putting on an act, and I am very much aware of that fact, and can't wait until it's over and I can go back to being myself.

This has probably caused me problems--sometimes, people have told me that I look like a psycho or drug addict. I honestly have no clue what they're talking about. I know I should care more about that than I do, but...I just don't. Too much trouble to start being constantly self-conscious.

Yet, I still have a small group of friends, a couple of decent jobs, and pretty much get through life okay, so...makes you wonder what is actually important.

Yes. It is very hard to construct a response right now, but yeah, I do these things too. I’ve been self-conscious like that for a long time. Not sure how to get out of it and see things on another level. I find that I am dependent on other peoples’ approval when I speak and will often trail off if the other person doesn't understand or seem interested in what I am saying. Don't like that about myself, makes me wonder if I mean what I say at all or have a sense of identity. Even when I succeed in what I'm saying it usually feels like an act. I don’t think/ say things spontaneously (well not much). Everything is careful and I'm very aware of it as I say it. I'm often really aware of myself when I am alone too-- like I am watching my every thought and it is hard to relax and be absorbed in my surrounding. Yes, well that is all very strange. Anyway mainly wanted to say YES, I do relate. It is hard work to be self-conscious all the time. Takes a big toll on the nervous system and can be hard to get proper relaxation in, but I hope you can try. <3

am not sure if hyper aware self conciousness woud be an aspie thing,or if its more relateable to social anxiety.

am completely unaware of other people and how appear to them,to self they are all objects and have the same look, meaning/worth,plus have never gave a damn of how they feel about appearances/behavior of mine,in own perception of it-if em feels ok then theyre ok,it is like we are the same being.
am also very limited in awareness of general environment,the brain draws and then processes what it wants;such as seeing a cat walk along,the rest is truly like a blank canvas and means nothing to self,these are part of being severely autistic,am glad to have these traits in some ways,

I don't really think about what other people may think about me, except when I get the impression they're having a go at me or otherwise causing problems. Most of the time, however, the thought just doesn't cross my mind.

I often prefer not to be around other people, and in large part this is because the more people who are present, the more I have to devote to thinking about them in order to participate socially - and often I don't think about them and just go off in my autistic way (monologues) and that often turns out to be the wrong thing.

Sometimes I get stuck on something because someone said something to me that I can't interpret, and I want to figure out what the heck they're trying to say to me. This especially happens with people like my mother, who thinks that what she meant should be obvious when she's actually being quite vague.

I used to struggle with this and still do sometimes. I didn't receive any form of counseling, though I kind of wish I did. I might have saved myself a lot of struggle if I found a good counselor.

People do tend to notice your overall body language, it's the impact of what you're sending that isn't as extreme as anxieties like this lead you to believe. Even I'll admit that it's important, enough so that I've consciously tried to improve things like eye contact, expression, and response, but minor miscommunications or one person who reads wrong are just that.

As my own body has started to feel more "natural" to me I've found I can become more engaged in things.