Should I go back to the way I used to dress? (Please read)
When I was younger than 13 fashion meant nothing to me. When I was little my mom often wanted to put me in these little dresses but I didn't want to. Never did. I often wore girls baggy pants and boys shirts (Mainly because they didn't have the patterns/designs I liked in girls) or I would wear relaxing pants... just pants. Not jeans just slip on pants. And a baggy t shirt with long sleeves. One day my "best friend" (We now do not get along at all-thought it has nothing to do with this) turned to me and asked "Are you a transgender?" I actually believed it for a week too but realized I like being a girl too much. And then I started trying to be girly and I guess I kinda got that ingrained in my mind that that was who I was. Now I'm wondering if it's time to stop this.
Well I read that not caring about clothing or how one dresses and stuff was common in aspies (Not saying everyone has it or anything). So I thought I would ask here what you guys think. Should I go back to my old way of dressing even though it wasn't very girly? How should I go about doing this without spending a lot of cash (I threw out most of my old clothes)?
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"Diagnosed aspergers syndrome/autism spectrum disorder. Femme lesbian and proud."
My opinion on dresswear is that a person should wear whatever pleases them, so long as is it reasonably clean, comfortable, and obliges to the basic rules of decency in terms of covering enough "skin." I am of the fashionably apathetic camp that you mentioned; happiness and comfort is worth much more than being "fashionable," especially as the friends worth having will love you regardless of how you dress.
If it makes you feel any better, I am a female who has been mistaken for a male even whilst wearing tighter-fitting clothing that is considered feminine; in my case, it is likely the large eyebrows, square features, shorter (though not exactly "boy-cut") hair, and lack of makeup. People tend to jump to assumptions, regardless.
There is nothing wrong with dressing girly, but there is also nothing wrong with dressing in a masculine fashion. Stores such as Goodwill and Pandora's Closet has a ton of used-but-well-washed clothing for fairly cheap; department stores tend to have constant sales, especially right when school starts and when seasons change.
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I am not a textbook case of any particular disorder; I am an abstract, poetic portrayal of neurovariance with which much artistic license was taken.
I wear "lazy clothes" everyday. When I was young I wanted to shop for clothes in the boys section because they had plaid and blue colored clothes (my favorite color) and had loose fitting clothing. I was called a Tom boy growing up. (I even wore boxers on occasion) I didn't care. Junior high and high school though, I started to care. It was the time that I was trying to "fit in" but I never actually fit in. When I hit 18 years old I said "screw it" I'm dressing comfy and not girly! I haven't gone back since. There's comfy girly options now anyway, I wear the Victoria's Secret Pink line of comfy pants and sometimes wear a tank top but mostly t shirts. I was quite offended though when a month ago my good friend said to me "you're wearing comfy pants AGAIN? Why don't you ever wear jeans?" Seriously? I don't need to dress to impress. It's not like I was going to a job interview. I was going to Costco.
So, hopeful flower, dress how you want and dress to make you happy. Your happiness is all that matters.
jamieevren1210
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Me too. My mom is constantly nagging me about my clothes. I actually like to dress like a guy, for a few reasons
1. I have sensory issues that make most women's clothes (and nearly 1/3~1/2 guys' clothes) uncomfortable.
2. I don't give a damn about gender. I'm not cis or trans, also I'm asexual.
3. Why spend all that money on flimsy expensive clothes? T-shirts you can get at a more reasonable price.
People rarely address me as "Ms." due to those reasons, and frankly I don't care.
In short, dress in whatever you'd like.
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Will be off the internet for some time. I'm challenging myself to stop any unnecessary Internet activity. Just to let you know...
Thelibrarian
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As a man, I dress the way I want to when I'm on my own time, and not in public, which is very casually. However, for a job, social standards for dress must be observed--at least to keep and be successful at most jobs. As far as dressing in public, be aware that if your dress is too outlandish, it may very well become the object of ridicule--though I don't know that anybody posting here really dresses outlandishly. A while back, I regularly used to receive emails titled "People of Walmart", which was ridiculing the outlandish dress of some people. We can say that this isn't fair, but we should recognize that it is the way things are.
Prof_Pretorius
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The way you dress is how people see you. If you dress girly, you be perceived as feminine. If you dress lazy, you'll be perceived as 'not feminine.' When I was younger, I liked going to thrift stores and buying old shirts and trousers. I liked the idea of wearing vintage clothing. But the ladies perceived it as 'odd.' The way I dressed was giving the wrong impression to women. So I started wearing more typical clothes. There's a young bloke I work with who bemoans that he doesn't date, but he dresses like some weird anime character. I've asked the ladies at work about him and they have told me he 'creeps them out.' I think society is prolly more forgiving for women dressing casually than men dressing odd. Try it as an experiment, dress girly and see if blokes pay attention to you.
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I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke
Clothing is my "special interest". ( I hate calling it that--sounds perverted. ) But I have good news! It is possible to look female and be comfortable at the same time. I am more comfortable in skirts than pants because of the way my body is shaped (no waist to speak of, long torso, very short legs). Sensory issues with touch mean that I can't stand to wear clothing that constricts in any way. I don't even own a coat although it gets pretty chilly here in the winter, because unless the coat is 4 sizes too big, it restricts my movement too much.
I wear longer skirts because I don't want to worry about flashing people every time I sit down, or having the back of my legs stick to a chair in the summer. I usually pair it with a knit shirt that has a wider, lower neckline and wear a lace-trimmed tank top/camisole under it. You have freedom of movement, coverage for modesty, and comfort, while looking quite graceful (at least I think so). People think I'm "artsy" because of my clothes. Most of them come from thrift stores or consignment shops.
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Lonely is an eyesore."
Thelibrarian
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I wear longer skirts because I don't want to worry about flashing people every time I sit down, or having the back of my legs stick to a chair in the summer. I usually pair it with a knit shirt that has a wider, lower neckline and wear a lace-trimmed tank top/camisole under it. You have freedom of movement, coverage for modesty, and comfort, while looking quite graceful (at least I think so). People think I'm "artsy" because of my clothes. Most of them come from thrift stores or consignment shops.
Mindsigh, I have the same problems with coats. I have very broad shoulders and a small waist. So, the only way I can get a coat to fit my shoulders, which it bothers me to no end to have restricted, is to have it fit like a maternity garment around the waist, which means the coat loses its insulating value. I now wear a vest, and it works well. Just a thought for you for the coming winter....
Well I use to dress kinda clumsily I would say. Like say when I was 14-16 I didn't care so much about fashion or how I looked. When I was 19 that changed a lot and I started to care how I look but not about fashion per say, I don't really care about that. But I do dress somewhat neater and my appearance I think is a lot better now than it was. I had to learn what that was like anyone would who hadn't cared too much about their looks until a specific time.. I also found a haircut that suited me well and is kinda cool/normal and stuck to it, hardly ever lapsing from that same style. That's a good thing because I'm more approachable to people and it does make all the difference in the world. If I went out how I used to dress that'd make me feel uncomfortable and make others probably just never even look at me or not for long and if they do not for a "nice" reason. So I don't think I'd go back to how I used to dress and I don't see a reason why you should as that probably passes as progress of a kind.
Short answer, stay with it if your happy with it or it's not too uncomfortable. I used to go to some night clubs occasionally and women would stand outside with a dress and heels but no coat or anything to keep them warm in the winter when I'm freezing cold in a long sleeve shirt and jeans and thinking "How do they not even shiver?". So yeah, that's not practical at all, but there's no rule you can't be well dressed and practical.
I have been criticized for wearing my clothes too baggy. most of the clothing that is considered feminine, like plunging necklines and high heal pointy shoes and such, I just think are ugly, I don't get what is so attractive about them and they are too uncomfortable to wear.
The same goes for makeup. I don't wear it because I don't like the way it looks.
When I was young, early teens, my mother used to try to smarten me up and as I got older I became interested in my appearance and many times conformed because I needed to for work. I am now semi retired and have reverted to comfort clothes much of the time, although if I need to I can still get out a smart suit and high heels. We should not be judged by the way we look but so often are. If I want to be taken seriously on goes the make up and smart clothes.
Formal stuff is pretty necessary for job interviews and work.. but I also found it useful in the way it helped me to kinda switch into that professional mode. So having good formal stuff is not the same as having a personal preference - you may not be comfortable but I found I was alert and just behaving more professional that way. Especially I always wear a shirt and tie to an interview, but not a jacket, maybe a sweater that still shows I'm wearing a tie on top if it's cold.
Value Village for me. Wednesdays is half price, too, so you can't lose.
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I wear longer skirts because I don't want to worry about flashing people every time I sit down, or having the back of my legs stick to a chair in the summer. I usually pair it with a knit shirt that has a wider, lower neckline and wear a lace-trimmed tank top/camisole under it. You have freedom of movement, coverage for modesty, and comfort, while looking quite graceful (at least I think so). People think I'm "artsy" because of my clothes. Most of them come from thrift stores or consignment shops.
Yes, this is exactly how I dress. All of my stuff is from the thrift store, too. In winter, I just add knee high socks, and a button-up sweater or cotton jacket (no stiff coats for me either). My husband calls my usual hippie skirt/black shirt outfits "standard uniform"
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ASD mama; ASD four-year-old; hilariously questionable one-year old.
shopping at op shops(i think americans call these thrifts stores) is a good way of getting a variety of clothes for cheaper prices (not just the fits that happen to be the in thing at the moment). I have bought clothes from the brotherhood of st Laurence stores.
I don't care very much about fashion, I just wear clothes that are comfortable and appropriate for the situation.
as for makeup, I don't wear it very much as it is a pain to apply.
Wear what you are comfortable the heck with what people say.
If the "friend" was asking if you were trying to be a transgender, did she mean it in a mean way?
It's none of her business what you wear.
Wear whatever makes you comfortable in.
Clothing doesn't necessarily define one's gender. A lot of girls wear guy clothes since they are comfy. I also know of guys wearing girls jeans for fashion.
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