Poor Man :(
Have any WP members in the UK seen this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... phile.html
I feel sorry for the man burned to death .
It is mentioned he has "learning difficulties". Could he have had Autism or Aspergers??
mzero
If he was, indeed, on the spectrum then violence against us wouldn't be anything new.
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His blog: http://seattlewordsmith.wordpress.com/
Why in the world would someone want to go near children and take pictures of them and associate with them when they don't even work with them? If you want to be near children, be a teacher or volunteer with them or get a job that makes you be around them and of course be a parent. Even I wouldn't wander in the play area without my son. Creepy.
Sorry but I found the man creepy in the article and the fact he would harass people makes me feel less sorry for him. Being a parent, I would probably also have an hostile attitude towards him and want him away from my kids and not let them go near him. But I wouldn't torture him or burn him to death. Maybe my thoughts would be different if I didn't have kids.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
This seems to be the community reaction.
But why?
If his creepiness was that he did not know how to communicate socially and his attempts to do so alienated people, this means he is less deserving of compassion when he is brutally murdered?
Isn't his difficulty in something most of us, to a greater or lesser extent, have in common with him?
If I accidentally came off in a creepy way in a random social encounter in my community, do I deserve whatever I get?
As a father, I want to protect my kids, but I don't see that this somehow makes the socially deficient or odd somehow worthy of murder, battery or even reduced compassion.
This reaction is deeply unsettling.
This seems to be the community reaction.
But why?
If his creepiness was that he did not know how to communicate socially and his attempts to do so alienated people, this means he is less deserving of compassion when he is brutally murdered?
Isn't his difficulty in something most of us, to a greater or lesser extent, have in common with him?
If I accidentally came off in a creepy way in a random social encounter in my community, do I deserve whatever I get?
As a father, I want to protect my kids, but I don't see that this somehow makes the socially deficient or odd somehow worthy of murder, battery or even reduced compassion.
This reaction is deeply unsettling.
If I stuck my hands in a kid's shirt, I would be expecting a bad reaction from a parent, possibly getting beaten up by them because they don't know me so how do they know I am not going to hurt the child and why would I even stink my hands in their clothes?
Before kids, I thought parents were overly paranoid and overreacted to strangers but when I got pregnant, my feelings changed and I wanted to protect my child and make sure he is safe and no one hurts him. Sure some do over react like if my son were to run out in the street and I couldn't get to him in time and some man grabbed him to keep him from going in the street I would be thankful he helped and wasn't too afraid to help out. I hear some parents over react to that and get mad at the stranger for even trying to protect their kid from danger so most people would just let the kid run in the street fearing they would be mistaken as a pedophile. But if the stranger took off with the kid, that would be a different story.
Also why would a person want to take pictures of stranger's kids? I am not even interested in other peoples kids so why would I be taking photos of them? Why do I even want to take photos of anyone, kids or not?
When I got to my late teens, I started to draw away from kids because I was starting to look adult and I didn't want to be creepy and get beaten up or be harassed or seen as a pedophile, thank the media for it. But I knew until I have kids, I wouldn't have to worry because I would have mine with me.
Sure the man was harmless but what he did was making parents uncomfortable and fearing for their kids. I am seeing both sides here so it makes it harder for me to feel sorry for the guy. I am not someone who would act that way towards kids because I know of the consequences so I can't understand why someone else would do it because don't they know the consequences too? Do they even read the media or ever heard about what happens? Are they really that ignorant they do not know how parents can think they might be a pedophile and how they might react?
If they know him, great, then they wouldn't mind him being near their kids and taking pictures. I have an autistic friend who adores children and lot of people know him so they don't fear him when he is with their kids and he volunteers with them. He befriends the parents too and he is very friendly even though his social skills are severely poor. I didn't even mind when he asked to see a photo of my child. That is normal for people to ask their friends or co workers or acquaintances to see pictures of their kids, autistic or not. I wouldn't mind him being near my child because I know him. I know he wouldn't hurt him or touch him wrong.
If you don't know where the line is drawn. It's best to not ask at all and to stay away from kids for your safety. Some people will just go far as murder like those two guys did and even some parents seemed scared when they saw the guy on fire. I am sure they wouldn't go that far either and someone did so it scared them. I know I wouldn't go that far. There is a saying, two wrongs don't make it right.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
In the article I read on it, it said the reason why he was taking pictures was to show the police as local teenagers were vandalising his garden. I can understand why he did that-unfortunately in the UK, the police don't take a lot of notice of anti social behaviour and the advice given to people in this sort of situation is usually to make detailed diary entries of any anti social behaviour. I can fully understand how he could get so frustrated with the lack of action that he decided to take pictures so he had firm evidence to give to the police. Anti social behaviour like this is on the rise in a lot of British neighbourhoods and decent, law abiding people are forced to live in fear. I can't comment on the harassment as I would get upset and freaked out if a man wouldn't leave me alone (and I've been like that even with someone who I knew had Aspergers-I can't handle people invading my life!) but I feel the need to defend the picture taking.
Okay. I can understand that. I would have probably done the same. Catch them in the act and take photos of them doing it. If he was only watching his garden and they came and started to vandalize it, that is a different story. It sounded like he was going around taking photos of random teens.
I have been stalked online too and every time I hear about someone stalking, I lose sympathy for the person who is doing it. If the victim has used words and told them clearly to leave them alone, not contact them, I have no sympathy.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
Admittedly I am nothing like this but do you wanna know why? I wanted to but I would have to pay a bunch of money to "prove" my innocence with a bunch of background checks that prove I can jump through hoops. I happen to think kids are great and they frequently gravitate towards me. I guess you would be one of those people who would brand me a weirdo even though the kids always initiate contact with me, what am I supposed to do, ignore a smiling child? I have a job that means I frequently run into kids and they treat me like a rockstar. I would love kids of my own but I do worry my extreme introversion would make me a terrible father.
Its times like this I wish I could find a new planet to live on. You would think being a positive, caring person would be a good thing but it seems like everyone seems to think I have ulterior motives (not just parents) and no evidence is needed. Sorry but this strikes a raw nerve, especially the blantant sexism shown by many. Tell me when s the last time anyone feared a female but being a introverted, aspie male meant some people branded me a weirdo for something i had no control over. Go figure since I found a GF that suddenly those same people now like me as if I suddenly became a new person.
Admittedly I am nothing like this but do you wanna know why? I wanted to but I would have to pay a bunch of money to "prove" my innocence with a bunch of background checks that prove I can jump through hoops. I happen to think kids are great and they frequently gravitate towards me. I guess you would be one of those people who would brand me a weirdo even though the kids always initiate contact with me, what am I supposed to do, ignore a smiling child? I have a job that means I frequently run into kids and they treat me like a rockstar. I would love kids of my own but I do worry my extreme introversion would make me a terrible father.
Its times like this I wish I could find a new planet to live on. You would think being a positive, caring person would be a good thing but it seems like everyone seems to think I have ulterior motives (not just parents) and no evidence is needed. Sorry but this strikes a raw nerve, especially the blantant sexism shown by many. Tell me when s the last time anyone feared a female but being a introverted, aspie male meant some people branded me a weirdo for something i had no control over. Go figure since I found a GF that suddenly those same people now like me as if I suddenly became a new person.
You obviously can't read. I will quote again and bold:
You mentioned you have a job that makes you be near them, well, there you go.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I certainly can read and I don't know why you had to provide such a rude response to my concern. I work in a building that has a daycare in it, so I don't 'work with children'. People tell me I should all the time, but I could not handle the huge drop in pay and I'm too introverted anyway. I was more talking about being out in public with my comment, like at the grocery store. Kids run up to me all the time and babies tend to go wild when they see me.
I had the daycare director tell me a couple of parents felt 'very uncomfortable' having me working there even though I am well liked at work and I know the parents of most of the children. The only reason anyone would think that is because I'm a)male and b)work alone. I am treated like I weirdo JUST because of that. If they spend 30 seconds talking to me they would be fine but instead they act hysterical because of the media, same as the person who once told me I resemble a serial killer. My comments weren't directed at you specifically, just in general.
I had the daycare director tell me a couple of parents felt 'very uncomfortable' having me working there even though I am well liked at work and I know the parents of most of the children. The only reason anyone would think that is because I'm a)male and b)work alone. I am treated like I weirdo JUST because of that. If they spend 30 seconds talking to me they would be fine but instead they act hysterical because of the media, same as the person who once told me I resemble a serial killer. My comments weren't directed at you specifically, just in general.
When people have kept misreading your posts or not really reading them and just putting words in your mouth or arguing with you about stuff you never even said, etc. You get tired of it and start to get rude when anyone quotes your posts and says something different you never even wrote or is different than what you wrote. I can't tell when something is directed at me or just something in general when my post is quoted but sometimes I know it's projection they are doing and it also irritates me too because they read my post and make ASSumptions and think what I am talking about because of their own clouded views due to their experience so something I post strikes a nerve with them and it becomes all about them, not me and they are accusing me and won't listen when I correct them because of their own clouded view. I think it's PTSD related and I don't even bother with these people because I had made a new rule for myself to avoid heavy heated arguments with them. If people are not going to bother to read what I am actually saying and they are just going to keep accusing me or read into things that are not even there and keep projecting and argue with them about stuff that was never even said, I don't bother. I draw the line and quit. It saves me the time and energy and not getting all upset and it helps a lot. I see it as arguing with stupid and I refuse to do that since it doesn't get you anywhere and you just go around in circles and are basically being a broken record so I stop when I have said my thing. I don't care about winning or losing or being "right."
As far as your work, I don't get uncomfortable if there is some guy working there and he is alone, he is just someone who works there so I still don't understand why parents would feel that way, perhaps it's the media that's done it like you said. I work where there is a daycare too and I always see kids walking in a line from outside with a teacher and only one kid has came up to me and decided to talk to me and I prefer if none of them talk to me. I don't know the parents or the child and I feel I have to be careful what I say to them and that adds me stress. I am relieved when the parent tells their kid to not bother me.
And I am the one who is all OCD/anxiety, I swear it's the parents who have the same issue too and why aren't they diagnosed with it too?
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
This is horrible but it is unusual for a community to react so viciously towards a weirdo. I'd like to know more about what this guy was doing. The article says a charity group helped him move several times and he still kept getting into trouble. I'm an aspie and I've never had problems with my neighbors.