Asperger Syndrome in males perceived as feminine and gayish

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How come males with Asperger Syndrome tend to be perceived as more feminine and perhaps even gayish? For being more silent/shy? Have you experienced this?

Last edited by qawer on 30 Jul 2013, 3:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

People are idiots, case solved




EDIT:

** Had to fix bad context error there forgive me

Last edited by savvyidentity on 30 Jul 2013, 3:33 am, edited 2 times in total.

But yes I've experienced that and I think that's 6 parts dumb (because assumptions are dumb imo) 4 parts vindictive or indifferent.

This may be why its misconstrued in aspergers (I found some of this in a search engine btw..):

1. Body language being like the stereotypical idea of what a gays persons body language is
2. You have a flat/odd tone of voice which people can't put their finger on so they just put it into some category as you say
3. You might not approach women or you don't approach them in that particule circle so they assume you're gay
4. They think it's ok to make knee-jerk conclusions like this about people and don't realise the harm it can cause to your dating potential (or don't care)

It's not just people with aspergers they do it too either so don't worry too much

Oh and er some women will assume that if they you want you to hit on them and you don't.

Last edited by savvyidentity on 30 Jul 2013, 3:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think it's that "standard male behavior" is partly a social act (as in exaggerating/faking), and I think ASD people are less likely to pick up on that kind of thing. IME, it does seem that if you're not constantly saying "I'd tap that ass!" and the like (especially when you're in your 20's) then you're seen as having something wrong with you and/or that you're probably gay.

Aside from coming across as "odd," as women were kinder to me than men were, I more identified with women growing up.

Most "masculine" behaviors are learned from peers and mentors. A boy who lacks solid male role models doesn't learn these things, and a person who is ignorant will attribute the lack of masculine social behavior as being the same as being homosexual.

I've always thought that I came across as gay because I never had a girlfriend, never hit on girls, I am polite to women, and get called sweet by women. I've had female friends ask me to go out with them because I was "safe," they knew I wouldn't hit on them, and I would serve to keep men away. I've been hit on by gay men a few times through out my life. I've told my wife about being hit on and she never understood why that would happen to me, and finds it hard to believe.

I'm a woman with AS and I'm perceived as "masculine" and "unfeminine."

Maybe AS folks just tend not to fit gender stereotypes as easily as the Normals.

Of course, qawer, you are, like, the most handsome guy around, so you'd definitely be hit on more that usual by both men and women.

Me too.

Actually, I can see that in a lot of men with AS I've met face to face. Not all of them, maybe a third.

I look kinda lesbian, myself. I'm asexual, and while I've never had any platonic romance, I do lean toward females, though only slightly. I'm more likely to find a female asthetically pleasing, but more likely to find a male interesting to talk to. So who knows? It would really depend on the individual. I don't really know to what extent I set off people's gaydar. I should ask someone sometime.

I wonder if the "straight Aspie guys looking gay" phenomenon is due to the general tendencie of autistics to look younger than we are. I think I heard somewhere that when trans guys transition, they look younger because of their still-feminine features... So maybe a guy who looks younger, also looks more female-ish?

I can see why it would be a bad thing for people to think you're gay when you're actually straight. It could mean that somebody who would ask you out, doesn't, because they think you're not into girls. That would be pretty annoying.

I got to think of Two and a half men.

Alan is not gay, but rather geeky, which is also how Asperger people are often perceived. Even though Alan is not gay he is still more "acceptable" socially being gay as it is seen in this clip:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbwNJKjOHgg[/youtube]


I think something similar can happen to Asperger guys who are straight. Having Aspergers as a male it might be easier and more natural to put on the "feminine" social role. As a result people might mistake straight Asperger men for being gay - just like it may happen to Alan, also when he is not pretending to be gay.

Although I only recieved my diagnosis a week and a half ago this is something I have been accused of for years - people thinking I am gay when I am not.

Never thought of it in this context though.




FF

I've had that problem arise on occasion. Adding into the fact I have zero interest in sports or most things considered manly like vehicles. I am more drawn to the arts, and can be overly sensitive at times. People often draw the wrong conclusion.

I dunno... I mean, people do make assumptions about others' sexuality even if they've never seen them holding hands with anybody; does that make them idiots, or does it just mean that they're guessing and sometimes get it wrong?

I don't really make assumptions like that because I don't read people well enough to tell one way or the other. But say you're neurotypical and you read people all the time--maybe you're pretty good at telling that that guy over there just checked out another guy's butt or whatever. Maybe if you were used to being able to tell which gender somebody prefers, you'd be more likely to guess and get it wrong when you met an Aspie who seemed to be sending signals he really wasn't sending at all.

When I was 10 years old everyone thought I was gay.