Stalker obsession

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You know how people with Aspergers tend to become obsessed with things? First it was art for about 5 years, then writing, then film making, then music. It was never girls, but I fell in love and got married. But now my obsession is a girl at work. We are friends but I text her too much on the verge of acting stalkerish, and it really bothers her now so I have to stop texting her and we can only talk in person. Has anyone else experienced this type of situation?

I have multiple obsessions but never with anyone in specific (Unless they are animated) except for the typical just started dating obsession. I think you need to put some space between you and this woman. You're married right? So yea I honestly think you need to break away from this obsession.

Indeed. I have discovered that the true root of it is the texting because online I have always been a far more bold personality. In person I seem to do okay. Therefore if i cut out the texting, and only speak to her when she speaks to me, then I think maybe it will go away. All intense feelings fade with time anyway.

Well I was obsessed with my first crush two and a half years ago. Later, I found out he wasn't worth it. My advice is to try avoiding her and focus on your job, especially since you are married.

If you were single, it would be appropriate to tell her how you feel, and perhaps even discuss your ASD with her, but you are married so it's not appropriate.
I have had similar problems, where I have gravitated towards others, and not found it reciprocated - male and female, and sometimes (with women) I have felt attracted, but not acted on it.

I have been bitterly disappointed on all occasions, as I realise the way I come across is intense, and this puts most people off.
The only thing that you can really do is keep it professional with the girl at work, and make sure you're not leading her on.
You could do worse than to tell her about your wife and family life - this will help set boundaries if she had been interested in you, and let her know you are not interested in "that sort of relationship".

I've been known to use that strategy from time to time, and although it may feel a bit difficult and contrived, at least it reduces the chances of being unfaithful with one's wife, and is more honest than developing crush on a female co-worker which could be seen as stalking, or seeking an affair outside your marriage.

yes it does happen on the spectrum,its a lack of social rules thing,NTs and many spectrumers have a good concept of social boundaries it just depends on the individual.
theres an aspie that personaly know off line and multiple times he has been arrested for stalking and harassing women-including sexual harassment.

barry george,the high functioning autist who was blamed for killing crimewatch presenter jill dando in the UK [though this is believed by many to be a wrong conviction due to his obsession with jill dando being an easy copout] had grown up being obsessed with people including stalking online and offline though he didnt do anything that woud have him arrested.

I realize at what point to stop myself, but I always reach that edge before backing off again over and over. I have to see her at work everyday, so it presents a problem. Besides stopping with the texting and not speaking to her unless she speaks to me, how else can I alleviate these horrible symptoms?

Well, Kingdom Of Rats, I certainly hope something like that never happens to me.

i have this same problem recently i had this issue with someone and they walked out of my life
i cant stop this annoying problem though...if not this person then someone else
or someone else

it continues
and gets to the point of anguish.

Mine wasn't just automatic, it took many years to get to an unhealthy point. But I know exactly what you mean.

This is precisely how I learned about being Autistic, I had no idea at the time I had become obsessed, or that I was even autistic, but then with that "lack of social rules thing" I really said some things I ought not to have in an email and this person has never spoken to me since. This all happened last year and I still think about her all too frequently, how I wish that I could at least offer her an explanation of why I said the things I said because she doesn't even know that this is a common problem among aspies much less that I am autistic, and that it was all just a big misunderstanding. My point is that these obsessions do not go away easily once they take hold, especially if there isn't a chance for reconciliation (or closure), I am still trying to move past the incident, to not let regret over past mistakes rule my life, but it isn't easy for sure. Thank goodness I have since refocused on my relationship with my wife, I am also glad that I am aware that I am vulnerable to becoming obsessed with a person, because knowing is half the battle.

And the thing is, the symptoms are similar is almost every way to a crush or infatuation, except that I consider her only marginally attractive and when I have days off I don't think about her at all. I only obsess when I see her at work. I've never experienced an obsession of this exact type before. It feels like a crush, but can you have a crush on someone you don't find all that sexually attractive?

I know what you're talking about, but don't have any good answers. The intensity can be confusing when those feelings are platonic in nature. With a romantic attraction, it's obvious to keep more of a distance, or to stay away. With the former, those warning bells just aren't there.

What I try to do (and this applies to anyone I interact with really) is let the other person set the pace. There have been times I have been overzealous without realizing it, so I try to watch out for that now. If there's no reciprocation, then that's my signal that it's time to let go.

Yes. I called someone too much and then I was informed they didn't want me calling the anymore. I took it as for the rest of a day and then call again the next day or later that week. I didn't know they meant forever until I called them again after we moved and I hadn't even called them in to days when my dad informed me the dad called and said they don't want me calling them anymore and I was like 'I never called them, that was two days ago."

It's better to ask how often do they want you to do it and how much is too much so you know where to draw the line.

Now I want nothing to do with a person if I find myself getting too obsessed. It's all or nothing so I don't have this issue anymore.